Darwin26

i just excited an industry of total glamour... in the photo biz of magazine beauties ... from celebrities to models (talent) . In two and a half years i don't believe i ever saw one model try to upstage another or for one to be feeling inadequate.
Without a doubt it's all about the MAKE UP... and i'm not talkin about the Stefani tune ... Put on the cosmetics and It's Show Time...
And i might not have responded to this thread even though i read all the way through it ... Till Liana mentioned ......the big turn on Glasses and a Tee shirt ! Coke bottle bottoms and All...

Really, the most attractive women on the sets were the ones in jeans, tee shirts and that wake an wear hair... as they did wardrobe, hair and make up or art director.

There are some consolations: One, The shelf life of a beauty isn't very long. Two, stay out of the mirrors. Three, It's Genetic ...4... stand up straight and always be polite, kind and considerate. (almost every single model/celeb i dealt with was that) . 5 What are your asperations ?

The Lone Ranger

My sister Julie is a knockout. I mean, most guys would rather die than admit that a sibling is attractive, but even I have to admit that when she walks by, men get whiplash. She used to compete in (and win) beauty pagents.

She has told me on numerous occasions that she often has problems making friends with both men and women.

She has trouble making friends with women because a lot of them seem to automatically assume that she will (intentionally or not) "steal" their boyfriends. Accordingly, it's typically the case that she is pointedly not invited to go out with the girls for drinks, etc. Such is her perception, anyway.

On the other hand, her problems with men are twofold: first, if she finds a guy even remotely interesting, he's typically either a.) too intimidated to speak with her, or b.) convinced that if she says anything other than "hello," she's practically ready to have his children. The other problem she has with men is that a lot of them seem to assume, presumably because of her looks, either that she's brainless (the moment she opens her mouth, that illusion is dispelled), or that she's "stuck up."

In truth, she's rather lonely, since she doesn't seem to be able to make friends with women her own age (all her female friends are much older), and most men her own age seem to be either intimidated by her looks or to think she wants to go to bed with them just because she says "hi."

It is unfair. She's an intelligent, thoughtful young woman, but far too many people of both sexes seem to judge her much more by her looks than her personality.

After she graduated from college, she became much more self-assured, and has had a better time of it, though. She has decided that those who're more interested in her looks than her personality aren't worth her time. She's still lonely, but she's not so despondent about it as she used to be.

***

Fortunately, it's not a problem I have. No one's head turns when I walk down the street, and I'm anything buy outgoing and flirty by nature. Besides, according to my friend Kelly, the only way I'd notice that a woman was flirting with me was if she grabbed me by the collar and said, "Look, you idiot, I'm flirting with you!" Some guys are just oblivious to that sort of thing, apparently.

By the way, don't think for a moment that a sweaty woman in a shapeless gi is necessarily unattractive. As a rule, I'm not all that attracted to women who look like they spend hours each day getting themselves to look "just right," and I'm sure I'm not alone.

I'll take an intelligent, self-confident, physically-fit woman any day. [My first karate instructor looked very good after a two-hour workout, glowing with sweat. Oops. Sorry. I got distracted there for a moment.]

Cheers,

Michael

ComestibleVenom

Well, if you're being bothered by being too damned attractive, this attitude does wonders for irritating a lot of men. Keep it up, stop employing sanitary practices and you'll be fine.

LianaLi

Again, what part of "if you don't want to hear about the problems of a pretty girl, then read no further" do people not understand? If you knew how many times I've been accused of helping guys cheat on their girlfriends because said guy was my good friend, been accused of leading guys on, and being a flirt, or a tease, then maybe you might understand what happens in my life. Or how many good friendships I've lost because people and gossip assumed more about my relationships than was really there to begin with. But no, I'm pretty, therefore I have absolutely no problems in my life finding out about my useless ex-boyfriend, finding a job, getting my own place, paying my own bills, or even begining to think about paying back the few wonderful friends I have that have helped me out during this horrible time in my life.

But thank you for your wonderful, open-minded attitude regarding my concern towards the problems in my life, or even the problems of attractive women. Apparently, I am far too concerned with the effects my behaviour and appearance has on men, and am seemingly arrogant for assuming that my appearance might be the cause of my own troubles. After all, I can easily change my own apperance, how dare I complain about it being so much trouble to look nice. I humbly appologize for having wantonly garnered your attention, because god knows I shouldn't have put my life so promiscuously out there for you to read. Let me go put that burqua on, and I shall return to my rooms to meditate upon my sins for being born a woman.

Seriously? My most concrete goal right now is to try and find an entry level job at a biotech lab, so I can figure out if biochemistry is the field I want to continue studying. In the meantime, I'm taking a year off of school to get settled on my feet. I've got all my basic, intro level courses mostly done with, so if I want to switch majors and change the course of my career, the time to do that is now.

Heh. I keep forgetting just how elastic that definition of attractive can be.

-Liana

openeyes

Granted, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but certain looks are beheld in high-esteem by many. As one whose looks have a attracted a smaller number of positive beholders over the years, I think we are all aware when we are around one of those more highly-rated types. I've been friends or have worked with some of these women over the years, but haven't exactly found myself jealous because I've seen the flip-side of this attraction. For one thing, most women only want one "significant other" so have lots of interest isn't always life-enhancing. Secondly, I haven't always seen them make good choices from the many options which they seem to have. Thirdly, life seems to boil down to the same ups and downs for everyone and looks don't really help in most cases.

Several years ago, when I was out with one of these "beautiful" types, we ran into this man I knew slightly, but had given me the impression that he could be possibly interested in me (he never followed up and I didn't think we'd be necessarily a good match, so we were just neutral). The effect of this woman's look on this guy was amusing actually. I could've not been present for all this guy seemed to notice. He only had eyes for her and conversation was geared all her way. He thought there was special signficance is some small fact that they both liked Greek food or something like that (he didn't even get my opinion). She was actually moving out of state in a week or so, and wasn't really interested. As I said, even though there wasn't anything between us, I thought it was still rude of him to give me the impression that I was inconsequential in the presence of this other woman. It was almost like he couldn't help himself though.

Roland98

Hey Liana--

I've kept up with this thread and couldn't decide whether to post or not. Though I've never had your problem to the extreme that you do, I've been finding out more and more that people actually consider me to be pretty attractive. This is news to me, because, starting in jr. High, I always considered myself to be the "smart one" rather than "the pretty one." As a result, I have always been a bit shy, particularly in situations where I'm meeting new people in a social setting (work is a different story). But in the last few years, at both my high school and college reunions, I've had people tell me they had serious crushes on me "back in the day," but they were too intimidated because I was pretty and smart--and therefore (so they thought), out of their league. And now, looking back, I wonder if that's why some girls weren't so friendly with me--or even some guys (because they were intimidated?) Anyway, even though I still don't consider myself to be particularly attractive, I am aware of the fact that other people may feel that way--and I try to be a little more open and smile more to compensate for the somewhat standoffish demeanor that I may have at times.

All that said, since I've never considered myself to be one of the "beautiful people," I also know what it's like to have friends that are so self-absorbed that they can't even fathom the idea that a man would look at someone else if a bunch of us girls were at a club or something together. From reading the posts, you don't appear to be like that...(well, except the "unless the guy is gay, he's attracted to me" comment, but you can't help if that's what you feel--it's the actions that count, not the thoughts). So, if it just so happens that you are like that, or do find yourself scanning a room and always thinking, "Gee, I am the most attractive woman in here," maybe it would be best to remember that different men are attracted to different types of beauty--and to give the nerdy girl a moment to shine.

Roland
(don't let the screen name fool ya--I am woman, hear me roar).

ComestibleVenom

You know Liana, it was the very sort of projection you once again display that I commented upon in the first place. I count that as much more ironic than your clever straw man.

LianaLi

You know. It's funny, we've run into the same social construct again. Either a person is arrogant for assuming that the yare attractive, such that people make assumptions on their personality based on their appearance, which are generally derogatory. We have the admissions of several women, who are attractive who have admitted that people underestimate their intelligence, or have been treated as either stupid or in an otherwise derogatory manner.

On the other hand, if a woman does not admit she's attractive, she often overlooks the cause for how people, particularly men, react to her appearance. Again, we have the shared, similar experience of women as evidence for this statement. One merely needs to read this thread for the story of the woman who was yelled at for being too attractive to her host's husband at a party. Or talk to LadyShea about how people underestimate her when it comes to contract negotiation, because she is beautiful. The selfsame women are accused of being flirts and teases just because they fail to recognize their own appearance. These situations do occur, believe it or not.

So there you have it. Based on shared, similar experiences, I've come to the sad conclusion that people are going to very often judge me based on my looks, if little else. I've had men walk away from me after they found out I had a boyfriend. Up and walked away from the conversation, because I was only pretty enough to own, too pretty to befriend. So, if that makes me arrogant, if being the butt of so-called friends' insecurities happens because I'm pretty and smart and friendly, then so be it.

As for the "unless they're gay comment" - I've lost many a person I considered a good friend, because I "led" them on, or I was the person they "cheated on their girlfriend with" or some other bullshit. I have to assume guilty until proven innocent, in terms of interest, because so much has gone wrong when I haven't.

Anyways, I hope this thread winds down before I lose my sense of humor about all this. It's gotten a taste of the "Stop oppressing attractive women's rights" movement to it, which is funny in that absurd way. Attractive women, the last group that it's safe to discriminate against, right alongside white males. Oh, that's worth a snicker fit or two.

Edited to add: Let's do away with false modesty here. If people are attractive, then why is it arrogant to admit that they are attractive?


-Liana

Mad Lion

My take? Quit whining. Of course people judge you based on your appearence. They judge men too. People are judgemental, small-minded, superficial beasts, and that's something we all have to come to terms with as we grow up.

That said, plenty of studies (forgive me if I'm too lazy to look for links now, but I'm sure a google search for "beautiful people have it easier" or some such should come up with at least a few hits) have shown that more attractive people get more promotions, have more romantic partners, make more money, are more successful and are generally happier. Sure, there are a few problems to deal with (such as jealousy) but they pale in comparison to the advantages. Most average looking people would gladly trade their problems for yours.

Ron Garrett

Me too. I've gotten so used to having my beautiful booty kissed on account of my good looks that I sometimes wonder if I dare miss a tanning appointment.

No mystery. He wants to nail you. I've never wondered why twenty something hotties are all over me when I'm old enough to be their dad. A guy their age can take them out for a fabulous evening at Burger King, and I can take them to St. Marten's. I'm all over them because 20 years later I still like how a 24 year old aerobics instructor looks in a bikini. I also like the fact that I don't have to overcome the defenses, bad relationship experiences and grudges that a forty something woman has acquired. Mostly, it's that pop tarts are easy to please.

Personally, I revel in it. I wallow in it. I lay down in it and rub it all over my body. It tickles! It's good for the complexion. I'm in the gym the other day, training with a lady I occasionally date. Several guys are gawking. She's worth gawking at. They're clearly discussing the phenomenon that she is with me and not with them, and one, who thinks he's being quiet enough, grumbles, "What's he got, a gold-plated d___k?" So I sauntered by, leaned over and whispered, "actually, it's heat-treated steel."