Steve K

(This might be an elsewhere topic, but I didn't think I'd get any good answers there.)

Throughout my life I have never had any desire for kinky (not meant in a derogatory way) sexual things -- I had always assumed that only a small percentage of people were interested in that anyways.

It seems like this is incorrect, based on my experience since then -- a lot of my friends and my ex-wife are interested in bondage, hot candle wax, etc.

My honest question -- how (psychologically or physiologically speaking) is it that painful things can enhance pleasure? (Or is that not the idea?) I ask because it doesn't seem to work that way for me -- every time I've tried anything like that, it's been a negative experience.

- Steve

ju'iblex

for some people, the endorphins released during pain have a very similar effect to the ones released during pleasurable events. That's the pure physical side of it, as for psychological, well, the human brain is one complex motherfucker.

Blex
-lip fetish, bondage, voyeur, exhibitionist, knife fetish extraordinare

Morat

I think you'll find as many reasons for liking BDSM as people who like it.

It's not like all kinky people do pain, either. And not all pain is alike.

Bondage isn't pain, so the reasons for liking that would be different from liking flogging.

And the sensations from flogging are utterly different than caning, so the people who prefer one or the other (or both) are going to have completely different viewpoints.

Heck, flogging alone can range from extremely painful to something akin to massage.....

tronvillain

There are endorphins, but those only kick in later, and after a relatively significant amount of pain. When sexually aroused one becomes somewhat desentized to pain anyway, and pain stimuli can actually be an interesting change from stimuli. After all, what is so bad about pain? "It hurts!", you may say, but all that means is that you let it bother you, and you don't necessarily have to (it is possible to simply experience and savour it). Of course, then you have the other psychological elements, such as actually enjoying being hurt or hurting someone.

Generally I prefer tying someone up to being tied up (which while perhaps kinky usually has nothing to do with pain) and prefer hurting someone to being hurt, but they are interesting once and a while. There is just something incredibly sexy about having a woman stretched over your knees and slowly reddening her gorgeous ass with your hand.

Loren Pechtel

I will definitely agree with this. My wife and I were trying something one day. My position was mildly uncomfortable in one leg but I hardly noticed it, I certainly wasn't going to stop one of our best times over it. Afterwards, though--OUCH! I was limping!

Secular Elation

After all, what is so bad about pain? "It hurts!", you may say, but all that means is that you let it bother you, and you don't necessarily have to

Yeah, I'll remember that the next time I get a 3rd degree burn.

tronvillain

Loren Petchel:
It also makes it important to think about where you are having sex, since you can potentially rub your knees bloody before you notice anything is wrong. *chuckle*

Secular Eleation:
Yes, that would probably be a good idea. Of course, the more intense the pain is the more difficult the initial process of letting go is.

Loren Pechtel

I've never had that problem, the incident I was referring to was in bed.

Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ

Slaanesh! Slaanesh! (Uber-Geek reference).

I personally don't see the appeal. Wait, I almost do. I, um, once masturbated so often that I actuall developed sores. It sort of hurt to start up, but then the pain sorta went away and it felt better than normal. That's kinda sick, so um, sorry for making people vomit.

Bree

I tend not to tell other people what I do and I also tend not to think about why I do it. Otherwise I look like a freak.