Luiseach

lol @ the link/article...Monty Python comes to life.... :-D

LogicMage

I began questioning my fundamentalist christianity around the age of 12 when I came to realize my homosexuality. I started to do research into science, logic, secular morality etc. When I was 14 I realized that all of christianity, and religion in general was complete and total bullshit, consisting of nothing more than silly superstitions and unfounded assumptions.

Giorgia

Hi, again, Blonde...

I'm a bit confused about your computer situation with you husband. Whatever his skills may be, I wouldn't touch any laptop he "had built" with a ten-foot poll: I'm absolutely certain that NOTHING you typed on it would be safe from him finding it. I'd suggest you stick to you pc, go on-line at the library if he shuts down the computer, but don't trust anything on a computer that comes from him.

As for teasing him -- my experience with my mother showed me that some people are only "good and god-fearing" when it suits them. She once told me that the only reason she didn't commit suicide was that she'd go to hell if she did (since suicide isn't something you can go to confessions about..); she had no compunction about beating me up and then going to confession -- and then screaming at me because it was MY fault that she had had to go to confession... Anyway, little incidents like the cereal box can be harbingers of much worse, so, PLEASE be very careful not to antagonize him unduly.
A.

Vicar Philip

Whenever I see something referred to as "the Devil" I just think of Bobby's mother in "Waterboy."

"That fooosball is THE DEVIL!"

Cracks me up every time.

beth

I've read about that hoax. but I've never been able to find the actual article.

No, it wasn't Bible Correspondence. My husband is highly intelligent. His IQ is up there in the 180's. One would think he wouldn't hold to his superstition, though... Maybe he'll come around once his brain kicks in.

beth

I'm confused too about the whole situation. I want that computer. If I really think he'll try to be devious enough to try to spy on my computer, I'll take it to my brother's and F disk it and start over with the programs I want in it. I don't think he will, though.

fando

There's something resilient about beliefs that one grows up with. Some of the smartest people I know hold on to whatever they were brought up with despite their education and development. Belief in gods, fates, and conspiracy theories either fade away in light of contrary evidence or becomes a defining characteristic that won't die easily. It's almost as if the brain has a convenient blind spot towards cherished beliefs. This is not to say that there is no hope for your husband's enlightenment, it is just a note that it most likely won't happen spontaneously and might never get a chance to occur while there's conflict related to his beliefs. Then again, you might be surprised.

I wish you and your husband the best and whatever happens, always strive for personal happiness as life is a terribly transient thing.

Asha'man

Hi blondegoddess,

I had a thought about your troubles with your husband, and a suggestion about one possible path to dealing with him. I’m reasonably sure that he thinks morality is derived from god, and that atheists cannot possibly be moral. The idea that he is now married to an amoral (evil) woman probably scares him.

Perhaps you need to convince him that atheist morality is actually better than theist morality, and that you are now less likely to do something evil than he is. Show him that you have the moral high ground, not him. Even if you don’t convince him that you are correct, making the argument may at least convince him not to fear you.

You might try browsing our forum on Moral Foundations and Principles, or spend a little time in the library. In the mean time, here is how I compare the two:

A Christian is taught that we are all worthless sinners from birth, we have no choice in the matter. The church expects us to sin, but is willing to offer forgiveness. In my mind, this does little to actually discourage sin.

The atheist, on the other hand, believes that there is no heaven or hell, no afterlife, nothing but the life we have in front of us. Death is irrevocable, final, and irreversible. Therefore, our one life is precious, and should be protected. To protect that life, we can’t afford to be making enemies. Anyone we anger is a person that may deprive us of life, and the only forgiveness that matters is the angered individual (and vengeful relatives). We live in a society, and we must learn to peacefully co-exist with that society. The golden rule becomes the supreme source of all morality: you must treat people with kindness and respect if you wish to be treated the same way in return. Or, restated, what is good for society is good for the individual.

I’m sure there are more eloquent ways to say this, but I think you get the idea. Give it a try, maybe even practice on the kids. I hope this helps, and take care of yourself.

beth

My husband and I were talking last night. He started poking fun of me again. This time he brought up the new check design that I ordered. .This
is our new check design. He has fussed at the previous designs, so I chose something asexual this time. Well, he said that he started to write a check last week and then remembered my goddess :banghead: and figured that my checks had some sort of pagan connection. He said that I've finally figured a way to eliminate his excessive check writing, because he won't use my checks. He was just joking, but I do know that there is some element to truth in what he told me.

When it was time to eat, he made me say the blessing. So I said it, but this time my kids noticed something different and started to critique my prayer. They noted very loudly that I didn't say "Lord" or "God" in my prayer.

Later , I told my husband that he really has to decide whether or not he wants to stay married. I plainly stated that my beliefs are changed. He asked me if I've decided to become Islamic. I told him that I no longer wish to go to church. (Although, I said I would , if not forced or pressured.)I told him that I do not believe in God. I told him that I am no longer a Christian. I told him that I have lost all faith that I previously had.(Notice I avoided the word "atheism". Me thinks that would have set him over the edge.)

He started asking my why. He kept asking me if I'm making some kind of statement. Then he said that I'm willing to burn in hell just to make a point. I utterly confounded him. He asked me how I talk about things to the kids. I stated that I do the same. That I have no desire to take their faith away from them, nor do I desire to take his faith from him. A few minute later he told me that the hardest thing about this is that for the time we've been married, he's gotten his strength and faith from me. He said he doesn't know how to handle this.

So.... what does he do? He makes me sit with him and watch Left Behind 2. He made little comments like, " Now I see how the Anti-Christ will deceive the world. They are all going to be atheists." So I sat, very bored, since I had already read the book. Even my husband couldn't resist making little cracks about the stupidity of the movie. So I'd laugh very hard, and then my husband would shut up, realizing that he's defeating his purpose.

He is worried about my moral state. I told him that I still hold myself to a higher moral standard than most people do, he eyed me in disbelief. I do think that he feels that morality comes solely from God.

HelenM

I'm glad you're talking about your change in beliefs.

Wow - he's been getting his strength and faith from you??? At least he admitted he doesn't know how to handle it. It's good that he has got as far as being honest about how it affects him.

I hope you can keep talking and I hope that he will see, bit by bit, as you continue to live your lives, that being an atheist doesn't mean you've abandoned everything he sees as 'moral standards'. In fact I doubt you've changed much at all in your basic views about your relationships with other people. If you wanted to be kind to them before I expect you want to just as much, now. And so on.

take care
Helen