Ion

I have elements in common with ProHihil and Opera Nut in this thread:

exercise appropriate response to an abuse, rather than let the abuse go -like cowards do- and hope that it will dilute enough in order to build a common sense ground with the abuser.

.) in France, in my first job right after an Engineering degree, I was to replace a disgraced person who was fired and in the process of passing documents to me over his last few months; the owner of the company was an uneducated dictator, who fired me when I asked after a few months whether both me and the other person can work, since the other person in my opinion was not a bad professional like I was wrongly told, but a good professional; after I was fired I luckily found the best work in my life, that I quit only to immigrate to Canada.

.) recently, in US, an Asian manager hired me in an Asian company, thinking among other considerations (like technical abilities) that because of my need for work visa I will act like a slave; the manager made mistakes like developing a consummer product under Linux OS, while the market uses Windows OS; the manager asked me to do overtime like the Asians do, in order to repair the mistake, to which I responded that we are in the US; the manager also progressively tightened the screw in promoting himself over his team, from an initially decent human into somebody who waits until work is done and then criticizes, but doesn't participate in the making; also the manager shouts his mouth at me like a bully about technical matters he doesn't follow.

.) recently, in my swimming hobby in the US, a coach made the team sign a code of conduct during practices; one time, the code was broken against me; the coach lied to his supervisor about responsabilities; this also comes from somebody who at age 50 repeatedly finds belching into a microphone as being funny, and who born in the US, cannot spell English like I do it in my third language; (not the first, not the second, but the third language); I left this coach's program, and I am in a better one now.

.) there are numerous similar examples throughout my life when I ripost to an abuse with a greater force, and in the short-term of each incident it looks like I am losing benefits; I do it anyway, because I think that when one stands for something, and in hindsight this something was technically the right thing but diplomatically the wrong thing, then one defines oneself to the point of knowing and defending the right thing.

Carrie

Hi there. I just quit Christianity myself. I made a terrible Christian anyway. I went ahead and "lied" on my job resumes. It would have been stupid for me to be totally honest. I'd never get a job. Actually, I have very little work ethic. Never had one, and don't know how to get one, and being a Christian did not help, but just brought more guilt.

Here's the deal; living in this world is all about survival of the fittest and self preservation. And you should enjoy yourself. Do do what you want, and try your best to get what you want. Just try not to hurt others in the process. For example, I'm not going to take a job with a schedule that never allows me to see my husband. I stay home and watch children. Not a lot of money, but I'm happy. I do what I can handle, and I do what I like. And I run the daycare the way I want. My last job was in sales, and that also allowed me a lot of freedom and independence. That's what I need. I don't do well with a boss.

So get to know yourself better, and only do what will be best for you and make you happy.