Calzaer

Which is exactly why I said he's "god's masochist". That doesn't make god any less sadistic, though.

Mageth

All that, and STEVE didn't even get a friggin' donut.

Darth Dane

LOL, Nice Taffer

Or maybe it was because God promised something to Jesus if he did it!

Like: "Ok Jesus, you don't have to this, there are some things you need to endure but after you've done your work you will be rewarded." I have a feeling the reward was worth it.

"I never said it would be easy, I said it would be worth it" - Jesus(or so I've heard)

Jack; maybe that was part of the agreement or rules. Only Jesus almost couldn't bear it. God couldn't do it for him, jesus had to do some on his own....and he succeded.

Jesus says he could summon a score of angels to free him of his torture, but he CHOSE not to.

To loose weight we need to deny our stomach it's craving for a fat burger.

To be able to be the best boxer you can't take drugs or party wild.

These are also denieals, or masochistic tendicies.

What do you deny yourself for whatever reason?

Do you deny yourself the want of a beautiful woman, or do you, as rapists does, give in?

Jesus was further out the scale, and Jesus knew or had an idea what the reward would be.


Mind you, this is all speculation, I wasn't there






DD - Love & Laughter

cydonia

For me, it comes down to dislike of someone who forces torture on someone else. This professor, he should of been the one doing the push ups. And anyone who took a donut should be ashamed of themselves for eating it.

One thing that is funny is this professor doesn't inspire much love in his pupils. Isn't this professor God? The students are all mortified by some sort of gut-instinct that tells them this professor is a sicko. That's how I feel every time I read an analogy like this, there is just something so repulsive about someone who forces torture on another. All the rationalization does is confuse the topic, whether it's someone doing push-ups for donuts or being crucified by your parents, it's just messed up.

I used to think there was something wrong with me for not seeing God's love in these torture sessions, because apparently this line of reasoning works with tons of people, who become christians. I don't think it's ever going to make sense to me, and I'm starting to realize it's a good thing. Must be Satan making me question our lord.

Deacon Doubtmonger

Chapter 1

1. And verily, it came to pass that Steve arose from His seat, with renewed biceps of eighteen cubits around.

2. And He ascended to the lectern, there to sit upon the Throne of Judgment at the Right Hand of Christianson, that he might judge the corpulent and the emaciated.

3. And him whose grade point average was second highest He declared to be Pontiff.

4. And the Pope squirted raspberry jelly into the mouths of the faithful, saying, Drink, for this is my blood,

5. and gave unto their mouths donuts so filled, saying, Take, eat, for this is my body.

6. And they who were designated Priests by His Holiness described unto the followers the dangers awaiting their souls, did they not confess unto Them upon the turning of each week the time from their last receiving the Jellied and Sugared Host.


Chapter 2

1. But there dwelt in the land those who were sore vexed to observe practices they deemed unholy, and corrupt, and sinful, and an abomination unto the Lord,

2. and waxed wroth at the sight of the sinners giving talents and shekels unto the Priests that they might purchase forgiveness,

3. and were sore affronted at the traffic of the Priests in indulgences in the manner of common peddlers.

4. Thus did one of their number nail unto the door of Christianson's Holy Homeroom 95 theses of protestation.

5. And verily there were born unto the land numerous denominations in which the faithful received hosts filled with Boston cream, and vanilla cream, and chocolate cream, and lemon filling.

6. And each deemed the others heretical,

7. and marched their followers with vexation into holy battle with each other, that each might gain Christianson's favor.


Chapter 3

1. And the denominations of protest were cremeful, and multiplied, and they who were their Pastors devised ever more elaborate ceremonies,

2. and the faithful engaged ever more in the holiest of works, the better to gain entrance into Christianson's Heaven to dwell in Paradise at the right hand of Steve.

3. But there dwelt in the land those who declared that ceremony had overtaken holiness, and cream fillings were an inducement to sin,

4. and works absent faith made inevitable the separation of man from Christianson.

5. Therefore did they declare unto the wretched sinners the necessity of return to the fundamentals of faith,

6. and they spake unto them, saying, "YE MUST EAT HOLEY HOSTS BEARING NOUGHT BUT CHOCOLATE FROSTING,

7. AND YE MUST BE EATEN OF THEM AGAIN, ELSE THOU SHALT NOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF CHRISTIANSON."

8. And verily did they declare, "EXCEPT YE SMEAR CHOCOLATE FROSTING ON THY FACE AS A LITTLE CHILD, YE CANNOT ENTER THE KINGDOM OF CHRISTIANSON,"

9. and spake they with rigor and tongues of fire, saying, "IT SHALL BE EASIER FOR A CAMEL TO PASS THROUGH THE HOLE OF A DONUT THAN FOR A RICH MAN TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF CHRISTIANSON."

10. And they who preached the New Gospel did force their fingers down the throats of the faithful,

11. and smeared the arisen chocolate frosting on the faces of the flock,

12. and made the faithful eat again the arisen holey hosts, that their sins be forgiven by the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Steve Cruller, and thus entry into Heaven be assured unto them.

13. And they whose names were not found written in the Cookbook of Life were cast into the lake of boiling grease,

14. there to suffer for eternity and never taste of Christianson's Sugar.

Deacon Doubtmonger


religion

"Religion is the playground of bad analogies." -- McFish

cydonia

Gut. hurts. must stop. laughing.:notworthy

Darth Dane

Cydonia, and doubt monger:

Is there anything you deny yourself? Anything at all?

Jesus was tempted by the devil, yet refused. Would God really be tempted? or is it that Jesus Was a human who cliamed his divine origin?

I see it as an assignment. Some needs to work in the field so they can eat, some need to work in a church so other will have hope, Jesus worked somewhere else for different purposes.
Maybe not even for us in that sense, maybe Jesus did it for himself. Could he really do it?

If you prepare for an exam, you work hard for it, and deny yourself the time you could have used with your friends.

Yet this denial is so that you can have more time afterwards for your friends, in Jesus' case.... everyone else.

While I speculate on this incident, there is a lot of other things that still doesn't make sense. "Bible conspiracy" someone cried.



Many of you still wallow in the fact that "God" is a big s/m.

Your football coach is a s/m guy, you need to run do push-ups and so on. You can leave anytime you want, but you won't get to play the games which is the fun part of football(I assume). But the coach knows that if his players are allowed just to do whatever, then his team will loose, and his players will get creamed. His players need to be able to withstand the "pain" of getting tackled and so on. BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO, YOU CAN SIT ON THE BLEACHERS AND WATCH THE GAME. Jesus as a parrallel wanted to play, and accepted the training required. God in this sense, doesn't want wimps playing for his team. They need to be VERY strong indeed. And this sort of playing needs rigorous training, all of which is self-imposed, the trainer doesn't run your laps or does your push-ups. You won't get stronger by that.

Analogy, don't ask who Jesus is playing!





DD - Love & Laughter

cydonia

But if the players sit on the bleachers, the head coach has them all sent to eternal hellfire.

Deacon Doubtmonger

Chapter 4

1. And Steve spake unto the multitude, saying unto them, Many are they who blasphemeth the Gospel of Doubtmonger, and denyeth the Sugar of Christianson,

2. and verily, their souls are as rotten broccoli in My sight,

3. and they shall be forced to eat of the Spoiled Cabbage of Robert until their souls be duly cleansed, and once again made worthy to receive My Holy Frosting.

Deacon Doubtmonger


religion

Darth Dane

But if the players sit on the bleachers, the head coach has them all sent to eternal hellfire.

Thats not the way I understand "God". If God is Love (John 4:3) then it isn't hellfire forever. You just wait till next season, then you can practice to get on the team.

And sometimes it is fun sitting on the bleachers isn't it?

You have popcorn, a lemonade, maybe your lover or best friend at your side.

The hellfire bit is if you wanted to play, but didn't want to do the required excersise, and then you blame yourself "if I had only...."

Most would like to be the gamewinner, but not so many wants to do the effort it requires to play in the NFL.







DD - Love & Laughter