cpickett

I'm a member of another forum, and we get into religious debates every once in a while.... I consider most everyone over there to be my friends, and it hasn't ever come to this before, but one of them threw personal revelation into the argument.

The stories he tells are very sad, I do feel for him. But he also seems to expect a response from me. They basically come down to "God" making him feel at peace with bad things in his life. I look at them and think that it's purely psychological, but I really don't know how to go about telling him that without upsetting him.

How do you deal with personal revelation?

The Other Michael

Hello cpickett,

Sometimes I slap my forehead and say "Michael, you're being a putz!".

That's about as much of a personal revelation as I've ever had.

You might want to just duck the discussion. Personal revelation is, by definition, personal. Whatever he's experiencing internally isn't going to be exported out into the rest of the world.

Just tell your friend that you have no way of experiencing his internal feelings, but until he can demonstrate to you the existence of this "God", you're going to have to operate on the presumption that whatever is happening in his mind is just that - something happening in his mind.

cheers,
Michael

Jake Hazelip

If you're friend is comfortable sharing his belief in a god with you, then you should feel equally comfortable sharing your lack of belief.

His feelings on the matter are no more important than your own. Keeping your mouth shut because you think he might be upset, or worse yet, cease to be your friend, is a poor reason for not sharing your thoughts and opinions with your friend. If you can't do that, he's not much of a friend (cyber, or meat-space) anyway...

AspenMama

The method I would use is to talk about a rough time in my own life and how I dealt with it. For instance, once I was lost in the woods behind my parents cabin. It was up in the mountains at 9,000 feet above sea level and there were tall trees that hid the cabin from view after I had gone about a half a mile. I was probably about 13. I began to get scared and felt like I had been gone a long time. I forced myself to calm down and think rationally. Then I really looked around me and remembered I needed to climb up to get to the cabin. So I did and I got back just fine. I attributed my success to rational thinking and forcing myself to be calm-- that is a learned behavior. Religious folks often attribute moments like this to some outside force-- I do not-- atheists must learn to rely on themselves and to be at peace with that. In fact, it brings me more peace to know that I am reliable and must not count on something as unreliable as having my prayers answered.

Anyway-- what your friend is doing is preaching to you, or "witnessing". What I am suggesting, is that you witness right back-- make it your own experience like he is-- and it will be much easier to not fling insults his way.

Daisy

Well, that's an interesting idea! Witnessing back rationalism. That's the sort of thing that needs preparation (because it seems so natural, I can't think of a story off the top of my head) so I'll be ready when/if the subject ever comes up.

cpickett

Thanks for the replies!!!

I replied basically with Michaels ideas, I couldn't think of anything of my own to throw back at im, it is definitely something I will have to come up with though, great idea AspenMama.

Jake, I'm not worred about any of those things really, and I have already professed my unbelief, it's more I didn't know how to reject them, without rejecting him. Hate the revelation not the revelator?