Monkeybot

WTF? Liana was talking about dancing, for crying out loud, and the desire not to be groped against her will. As someone else asked, are strippers alone entitled to this right?? For all your concern about the feelings of the men involved, you really don't seem to give a damn about the feelings of the women -- because let me tell you that being humped all over by some random guy on the dance floor is NOT a fun experience, to say the least.

Now, if Liana had been talking about stringing people along in relationships, I'd be 100% behind you. But your attitude seems to be that if a woman is even slightly provocative she deserves whatever happens to her, which is an attitude I find positively medieval.

Loren Pechtel

Originally posted by godfry n. glad
Accepting a drink is a universal signal for...what?

I've always considered it to be a signal that the other (be they male or female) are willing to continue the conversation, not acquiesce to a roll in the hay. C'mon, guys!

In that context it's obviously the first step in that direction.

I've bought drinks for women and then found that, during the course of the ensuing conversation, I was NOT interested. After the drink was finished, I said thank you and moved on, regardless of how "inviting" the woman was.

So, either of you can change your mind.

Mad Lion

The whole "club" scene and the dating game is silly and ridiculous.

I prefer pubs, and bars. Places to relax after a camping trip, places to eat some good food and talk with people. A place where you can have a pint of a good local microbrew, maybe see a bluegrass or reggae band, shoot a little pool.

In other words... a LAID BACK scene. Usually populated with a smattering of hippie/granola type folks.

Girls, if you want to avoid being hit on by obnoxious fucktards who are little more than erect penises searching around like heat seeking missiles for a warm hole to blow their loads in, stop going to where these people congregate. Seek out an alternate scene. Also, don't worry about coming off as a "bitch." Who cares what those assholes think anyway?

Men, if you're one of the aforementioned fucktards, STOP BEING A FUCKTARD. You're giving the rest of us a bad reputation. Realize that women are people and not objects, and that if you just need to get your rocks off, the honorable thing to do is either masturbate or purchase the services of a professional. You're only coming off as an assclown when you try to buy sex from women with drinks, or impress them with the 22" chrome rims on your cadillac.

Ugh. :banghead:

Hot Karl

here's a scenario.

say i'm at a pub, with some acquaintances at work. a guy from work, insists i try this drink, and buys a few rounds. we have a nice convo about whatever. am i now obligated to suck his dick?

/me is a guy btw.

Bible Humper

Translation: You couldn't get laid with $10 000 dollars in a whore house, and are going to reframe it to be some kind of character flaw in the REST of us.

The guys who play the "silly" dating game are all fucktards? OK. The club scene is ridiculous? Alrighty, whatever.

YOU are the odd man out.

Get a clue, pal, you have no idea how many women are open to the idea of a night of no-strings attached sex with the right guy.

This idea you have that women all want to avoid these "heat seeking penises" at all costs is a joke. You would be shocked at how many of the women YOU PERSONALLY KNOW, who you assume would NEVER go for a one night stand, have nonetheless done so. Women just don't have an ego-driven need to brag about it in order to complete the experience.

There is nothing wrong with going out to nightspots with the express purpose of getting laid. Even the women you've tried to put on a pedestal above this "fucktard" behavior do so sometimes. <gasp>

LOL If I want sex with no strings I better pay for it? Give me a break.

The "objectification" BS is old and tired, why don't you give it a rest? You do not have to dehumanise a woman to view her as someone you want to fuck. At least healthy people don't.

I always suspect that the guys who indulge in this kind of "sensitive man" ranting are just trying to impress. It won't get you laid, dude. Stop.

We all know that you're full of shit because attraction is not something you can choose to turn on or off.

Actually, I agree with this, but not at all for the reasons you do. The fact that you believe that this lame crap is how a seduction is conducted screams out the fact that you have no idea WTF you are talking about, yet are bashing like you know all about it, and have concluded that it is some kind of lowlife degenerate behavior.

In my not so humble opinion, you just resent the guys who do what you wish you could do. It pisses you off to see guys walk out of the club or bar with their arms around a woman they just met, as you go home to play with your peenie yet again. These guys you have christened "fucktards".

Loser.

Godless Dave

Cheetah, for the other side of the picture, check out this thread I posted a few months ago. You will note that the situation in that thread is a little different than yours, in that the woman I was chatting with for over an hour grabbed her breast and presented it to me, which is when her behavior definitively crossed the line into "leading me on".

Here's my take, Cheetah. Accepting the first drink was no big deal, particularly given the situation you were in. However you also mentioned having long conversations. I'm not going to pass judgement on your particular situation, because I wasn't there, but I think after talking to a guy for more than, say, ten minutes, it behooves you to bring up that you are unavailable. Dropping a key word like "husband" or "boyfriend" is, IMHO, all that is required of you. Another good one is "I don't mean to sound presumptuous, but I think you should know I'm not looking to meet guys tonight". This allows both of you to keep your dignity, whether or not he was really hitting on you. If he doesn't get it after that he is dense and it is no longer your problem.

And at all times, keep in mind what Sakpo said, because it's true:

This is true 99.999999999999999999999999997% of the time. Also what Wordsmyth said:

Except you can replace "most" with "very nearly all". Just keep those two things in mind. With few exceptions, men do not like to dance. Dancing is a tool for meeting potential sex partners. Ditto conversation. Men do not enjoy conversation with strangers, or conversation period. Conversation is a tool to meet potential sex partners. Maybe some of you wish the world was different, but these are the cards we're dealt.

Cretinist

I would also agree with Graeme that what kind of place you're at should be taken into consideration. There is a lot better chance (though still pretty low) that a guy talking to you and offering to buy you drinks isn't interested in romance/sex in a neighborhood pub type place.

Yeah, guys who still go for it after you already said you aren't interested deserve to have their time and money wasted.

brighid

Yes, I have and I was quite successful.

Brighid

brighid

Well, let me tell you just because you haven't heard a guy call a woman this doesn't mean it has happened. Unfortunately, it is a common occurence ...

Here's the deal - if a guy approaches me in a nice, respectful way he will be treated with respect. I don't dis guys who are cool enough to not approach me like a prostitute. Nice guys always get treated nicely by me and my friends. What other girls do can be entirely different. If you come at with some kind of cheesy line and it is apparent that your drink invitation is as the others here have said, an invitation to have sex you can bet your bottom dollar you will get played right back. Now if you are the 5th guy that night that happened to approach me like I am some hooker you are probably going to get some snippy treatment ... but I guess that's the price you pay for hanging out in bars expecting to pick up chicks to take home and fuck. There are SOOOOOOO many reasons I don't hang out in bars, but you know there are times where I just want to dance and not be approached, groped, grinded up against or have to after the 3rd telling some guy to please get his dick out of back have to get pissy with him.

I think the problem is guys and girls go to bars for different reasons, even if some girls are certainly there to get laid (which is fine as consenting adults should do what they please in the privacy of their own bedrooms), most women aren't and that can be tested by the success rate most men have taking a woman home from a bar.

As a woman you learn (either through your own experience or that of your friends) that picking up a guy in a bar, and taking him home for a roll in the hay usually ends up poorly. First of all you expose yourself to a higher chance of contracting an STD ... not good and I would say 9 times out of 10 if you fuck some guy you just met you can bet good money he is not going to be taking you out again. Because although he certainly wants to fuck you he doesn't want a relationship with a girl who will give in so "easily" because if you did it with him so quickly WHO KNOWS who else you gave it up to (and hence you aren't relationship material and he won't be taking the slut home to meet ma and pa). Then you get labeled a slut and you feel like shit. So any self-respecting woman learns this quickly and isn't likely to take you home that night. Most women are looking for more then a one-night stand, even in bars (and that is simply a mistake.)

Except for a hopeless few, when ever my girls and I went out (single or otherwise) we went to dance and some even flirt. But taking you home - hell fucking no! See we knew that the odds of finding a good man in a bar were slim to none. So why would we express anything beyond superficial interest to most guys in bars? You are there for one of two things aren't ya? Conversation ain't it, but a means to an end if I am understanding the guys right. So if I am not there for sex, but rather conversation with interesting people and hopefully a dance partner that can keep a beat and follow me, why would I treat a guy I know is putting up a front any differently then he is treating me? That is usually why I only dance with my girls and have a deep appreciation for the occassional nice guy who seems genuinely interested in talking or dancing (even if he is better at disguising his desire to fuck.) It is THOSE guys who will have a future chance of getting a little something, something. I have met some really interesting people in bars, enjoyed some great conversation and met a few guys who can keep a beat. It's nice.

However, walking into a bar often puts the defenses up, at least to some, more alert level. An attractive woman knows there are going to be at least a few uncomfortable approaches in the evening, more then a few men (and women) who will grab your ass, your tit, or molest you in some other way. It doesn't even matter how you dress.

I have been sitting in a barstool, minding my own business, wearing a dress down to my ankles, nothing particularly revealing, but classy and had two guys feel it was perfectly acceptable to 1) try and run his hands up my dress/leg to rub my leg because my calves/feet must hurt from dancing (mind you I don't know who the fuck this guy is) and 2) his friend thinks it's okay (before introducing himself) to start rubbing my shoulders and getting a bit too close to my breasts ... after saying, "Excuse me, but uh ... please don't touch me" neither would stop and said, "oh baby, come on .." WHAT THE FUCK??? I had to forceably remove both idiots and they got pissed off at me!!!!!

Whatever!!

And believe me I don't play coy, unless talking with a guy is playing coy. If I actually want to take you home and fuck you there will be no doubt in your mind. Rest assured that accepting a drink is not anything more then accepting a drink. $6 of your money gets you $6 of a woman's time cuz damn ... if you are going to be a slut don't be a cheap slut.

Sorry ... but these sorts of conversations remind me of why I am so glad I have found a good man and unfortunately brings back some of the icky memories of bar and club hopping.

Ugggghhhhh ...

Brighid

Mad Lion

Bible Humper: Because I find the club and dating scene ridiculous must mean that I'm just some guy who can't get laid and is taking out his frustrations by bashing others? Wow, your logic is impeccable. Congratulations, you lose.

I never said that there aren't women out there who are looking for no strings attached sex. However, I still think that the "dating game" has at its basis an antiquated gender-based role to play for BOTH sexes. It's silly.