Freethought & Rationalism Archive

JonathanChance · 07-05-2003, 01:35 PM

Quote:

The Dive
=========

A young man who had been raised as an atheist was training to be
an Olympic diver.

The only religious influence in his life came from his outspoken
Christian friend. The young diver never really paid much
attention to his friend's sermons, but he heard them often.

One night the diver went to the indoor pool at the college he
attended. The lights were all off, but as the pool had big
skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to
practice by.

The young man climbed up to the highest diving board and as he
turned his back to the pool on the edge of the board and
extended his arms out, he saw his shadow on the wall.

The shadow of his body was in the shape of a cross.

Instead of diving, he knelt down and finally asked God to come
into his life.

As the young man stood, a maintenance man walked in and turned
the lights on.

The pool had been drained for repairs.

~Author Unknown~

:banghead: :banghead:

Rhaedas · 07-05-2003, 01:44 PM

Odd how "The lights were all off, but as the pool had big
skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to
practice by" but yet there was not light to see that "The pool had been drained for repairs".

But then again, the story had to be set up for the punchline...

And of course the "~Author Unknown~" is always a classic...

Interesting how a little detail can change a Darwin Award into a miraculous event...

NonHomogenized · 07-05-2003, 02:43 PM

And now for the alternate version, starring a christian:

Quote:

The Dive
=========

A young man who had been raised as a christian was training to be
an Olympic diver.

One night the diver went to the indoor pool at the college he
attended. The lights were all off, but as the pool had big
skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to
practice by. Of course, being used to making assumptions and not checking his facts, he didn't bother to look at the pool, and, if he had, the suspicious lack of light reflecting off the water should have tipped him off that the pool was drained.

The young man climbed up to the highest diving board and as he
extended his arms out at the edge of the diving board, he saw his shadow on the wall.

The shadow of his body was in the shape of a cross.

Instead of diving, he knelt down to pray, and instead fell off the edge of the board, and plummeted 14 meters to the cold, hard concrete at the bottom of the pool, where he landed headfirst, obliterating his skull, and killing him instantly.

~Author: Me, dammit!~

mecca777 · 07-05-2003, 06:00 PM

If the only light was coming from the skylights, how did his shadow fall on the wall, instead of straight below him (on the floor of the empty pool)? Or did God make the light bend through 90 degrees for dramatic effect? How many angels can dance on the head of the author?

Stiletto One · 07-05-2003, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mecca777
How many angels can dust the head of the author?

Fixed it for ya.

Seriously, one would think that the swimmer would have noticed light reflecting from the surface of the pool water. :banghead: Calm water makes a great mirror.

Majestyk · 07-05-2003, 07:37 PM

I always find it ammusing that people imagine their fantasy Giant Cosmic Fuzzball to be so petty and vindictive as to let the diver kiss the cement at the bottom of the pool if, the diver doesn't kneel to kiss his cosmic ass.

Buddrow_Wilson · 07-05-2003, 09:17 PM

Wow, even by godspam standards that's pretty lame.

Shake · 07-06-2003, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rhaedas
Odd how "The lights were all off, but as the pool had big
skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to
practice by" but yet there was not light to see that "The pool had been drained for repairs".

But then again, the story had to be set up for the punchline...

And of course the "~Author Unknown~" is always a classic...

Interesting how a little detail can change a Darwin Award into a miraculous event...

Yeah, "author unknown"

I wouldn't want it to be known that I'd written some piece of crap like that!

... and now for another analysis of the pool being empty thing: first, anyone who's seen any Olympic diving would know that there's always a small stream of water spraying into the pool near where the diver will be entering. This helps the diver (IIRC) estimate the distance to the surface. It could pretty painful to overestimate the distance, attempt another spin and hit the water from 10m on one's back!

And I'm sure in an empty pool area, you'd be able to hear the water splashing (which would be absent if the pool was empty).

Anyway, Buddrow_Wilson said it pretty well.

nj_heathens · 07-07-2003, 01:41 PM

I found this story doing a Snopes search.

Mrs. Heathen

NonHomogenized · 07-07-2003, 02:55 PM

Not to mention, if you're ever in an indoor pool area lit by moonlight, that water reflects patterns of light around the area. Pretty damn telling, if those are missing...

07-05-2003, 01:44 PM	#2
Rhaedas Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: USA Posts: 3,440	Re: Have a look at this idiotic bit of godspam. Odd how "The lights were all off, but as the pool had big skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to practice by" but yet there was not light to see that "The pool had been drained for repairs". But then again, the story had to be set up for the punchline... And of course the "~Author Unknown~" is always a classic... Interesting how a little detail can change a Darwin Award into a miraculous event...

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07-05-2003, 06:00 PM	#4
mecca777 Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Newcastle-upon-Tyne, UK Posts: 1,255	If the only light was coming from the skylights, how did his shadow fall on the wall, instead of straight below him (on the floor of the empty pool)? Or did God make the light bend through 90 degrees for dramatic effect? How many angels can dance on the head of the author?

07-05-2003, 07:37 PM	#6
Majestyk Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Northeast Ohio Posts: 2,846	I always find it ammusing that people imagine their fantasy Giant Cosmic Fuzzball to be so petty and vindictive as to let the diver kiss the cement at the bottom of the pool if, the diver doesn't kneel to kiss his cosmic ass.

07-05-2003, 09:17 PM	#7
Buddrow_Wilson Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Arkansas Posts: 1,589	Wow, even by godspam standards that's pretty lame.

07-07-2003, 01:41 PM	#9
nj_heathens Regular Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Ewing, NJ Posts: 447	I found this story doing a Snopes search. Mrs. Heathen

07-07-2003, 02:55 PM	#10
NonHomogenized Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: no longer at IIDB Posts: 1,644	Not to mention, if you're ever in an indoor pool area lit by moonlight, that water reflects patterns of light around the area. Pretty damn telling, if those are missing...

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