Alonzo Fyfe

I saw in my local newspaper today a request for "guest columnists". Those selected will have an opportunity to write a guest editorial, one every other week, for 3 months.

They have asked for two samples.

I have posted one sample, In God We Trust , in a different forum with a request to look it over and provide suggestions.

I would appreciate it if some readers of this forum may be willing to take a look at the second of my two samples, attached below.

This one concerns the future of space development.

I have just a few days to present this application. I would appreciate whatever help I may obtain to acquire this opportunity.

(P.S., my local paper's name: The Denver Post)

Word limit: 700

Mageth

A few suggestions:

Instead of "is worth the price", you might want to say "is worth the cost, both in dollars and in lives."

Rather than "on the basis of" in a couple of places, I would say "based on". You'll save a few words that way, and it sounds better.

Instead of "We can�t avoid this gamble by sending machines into space. It has to be people", you might consider something like "This gamble cannot be avoided by just sending machines into space; we must also send people."

For "the great spinoffs we have received", I would suggest "the many spinoffs of the program". And I'd suggest listing a couple of real spinoffs, rather than two dubious ones.

A suggestion for rewording this paragraph:

"But there is one thing I know for certain. Every living human, at some unknown time in the future, will necessarily be somebody who can trace their roots to an ancestor who left the Earth. This is because there will be nobody left on Earth. The planet will become a lifeless, or, at least, a humanless ball."

to something along these lines:

"But there is one possiblility that we must consider: at some future time, our planet may become uninhabitable, at least for humans. Any humans left at that time will be able to trace their roots to an ancestor who left the Earth."

And then, for "When will this happen? ", I would suggest "When might such a catastrophe happen?"

Instead of "Or, we can learn..." I would suggest "Alternatively, we can learn..."

For:

"Or, a huge long-period comet could be heading toward the inner solar system as I write this, with Earth square in its path, and not enough time between discovery and impact for us to do anything but kiss each other goodbye."

I would suggest, perhaps:

"Or, even now, a comet may be heading toward the inner solar system with Earth in its path, and we may not have enough time between discovery and impact to do much except kiss one another goodbye."

For:

"By the way, while we are at it, we might pick up some side benefits in terms of fulfilling our longing to explore, and we might get a few useful technological spinoffs to play with."

you might consider something along the lines of:

"We should also consider possible short-term benefits of continuing our human presence in space, such as fulfilling humankind's longing to explore and the potential for significant technological spinoffs."

That's my two cents' worth. Just suggestions for potentially better wording, for the most part. Overall, I agree with your sentiment, though your arguments may be a bit too far-seeing for many to consider strong ones.