Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Ihmhi · 08-16-2003, 08:38 AM

The "Virgin" Mary
A Short Play by Ihmhi

Mary and Joseph are seen sitting on bales of hay in a manger.

Joe: Mary, I'm sorry that I have to work tonight. I know it's our honeymoon, but we need the money. For God's sakes, we live in a manger! Even the slaves have shacks. I promise that when I come home later, this manger's gonna be a rockin'!

Mary: Okay, dear. Have fun at work!

Joseph leaves.

Moe: "A rockin'", eh?

Mary: Moe! What are you doing here? Your brother is my husband! He told you to stay away from us!

Moe: I don't care, I love you. Besides, can a virgin resist...

Moe drops his pants.

Moe: ...this?

Mary stares in awe at Moe's more than adequate... um, manhood.

Mary: Oh, Moe...

Hours pass, and just as Moe is leaving through a window in the manger, Joseph walks in.

Joe: Mary, what happened? I heard you screaming from a mile away! Are you alright?

Mary: Yes, I'm fine... it was... spectacular.

Joe: What was spectacular?

Mary: It was... um, er... a miracle! Yes, I am pregnant! I... I am carrying a child... no, the child... the child of God! Yes, that'll do...

Joe: Oh, it is a miracle! Praise God!

Mary: That's what I said...

Joe: What?

Mary: Nothing! Nothing at all...

And we all know how the rest went.

The End

By Ihmhi

anti-X · 08-16-2003, 12:20 PM

Vagina Mary ?

Isn't that the "blessed, un-wed mother" ?

orpheus last chant · 08-17-2003, 05:04 AM

That reminds me of a problem with this story.

If jesus a.k.a. god came down to be in the form of a human to experience life liket he rest of us, he was soul plus body, right?

And a baby comes from an egg cell plus sperm. Now, if jesus's body was a human as any, he had XY in his chromosomes, umm, where did the Y chromosome come from? What genes did god (divine genetic ingeneering Ph. D) use?

Did Gabriel come to Mary and say: Let there be sperm!

And God saw the sperm, and said: "It is good"

Jutsuka · 08-17-2003, 05:55 AM

I always liked the explanation Garth Ennis offered in "Hellblazer", that Gabriel raped mary on orders from god.

Ihmhi · 08-18-2003, 09:12 PM

You're making the mistake of trying to mix fact with anything involving the bible. One's bad, one's good. It's like putting nails on pizza. Sure, nails (the bible) have some purpose, but should you be eating nails? Or metaphors?

anti-X · 08-19-2003, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ihmhi
You're making the mistake of trying to mix fact with anything involving the bible. ...

Good quip!

:notworthy

08-16-2003, 08:38 AM	#1
Ihmhi Junior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Newark, NJ, USA Posts: 72	The "Virgin" Mary The "Virgin" Mary A Short Play by Ihmhi Mary and Joseph are seen sitting on bales of hay in a manger. Joe: Mary, I'm sorry that I have to work tonight. I know it's our honeymoon, but we need the money. For God's sakes, we live in a manger! Even the slaves have shacks. I promise that when I come home later, this manger's gonna be a rockin'! Mary: Okay, dear. Have fun at work! Joseph leaves. Moe: "A rockin'", eh? Mary: Moe! What are you doing here? Your brother is my husband! He told you to stay away from us! Moe: I don't care, I love you. Besides, can a virgin resist... Moe drops his pants. Moe: ...this? Mary stares in awe at Moe's more than adequate... um, manhood. Mary: Oh, Moe... Hours pass, and just as Moe is leaving through a window in the manger, Joseph walks in. Joe: Mary, what happened? I heard you screaming from a mile away! Are you alright? Mary: Yes, I'm fine... it was... spectacular. Joe: What was spectacular? Mary: It was... um, er... a miracle! Yes, I am pregnant! I... I am carrying a child... no, the child... the child of God! Yes, that'll do... Joe: Oh, it is a miracle! Praise God! Mary: That's what I said... Joe: What? Mary: Nothing! Nothing at all... And we all know how the rest went. The End By Ihmhi

08-18-2003, 09:12 PM	#5
Ihmhi Junior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Newark, NJ, USA Posts: 72	You're making a mistake You're making the mistake of trying to mix fact with anything involving the bible. One's bad, one's good. It's like putting nails on pizza. Sure, nails (the bible) have some purpose, but should you be eating nails? Or metaphors?

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08-16-2003, 12:20 PM	#2
anti-X Regular Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 462	Vagina Mary ? Isn't that the "blessed, un-wed mother" ?

08-17-2003, 05:04 AM	#3
orpheus last chant Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Romania Posts: 4,975	That reminds me of a problem with this story. If jesus a.k.a. god came down to be in the form of a human to experience life liket he rest of us, he was soul plus body, right? And a baby comes from an egg cell plus sperm. Now, if jesus's body was a human as any, he had XY in his chromosomes, umm, where did the Y chromosome come from? What genes did god (divine genetic ingeneering Ph. D) use? Did Gabriel come to Mary and say: Let there be sperm! And God saw the sperm, and said: "It is good"

08-17-2003, 05:55 AM	#4
Jutsuka Regular Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 144	I always liked the explanation Garth Ennis offered in "Hellblazer", that Gabriel raped mary on orders from god.

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