Azathoth

There are really too many for me to list here,but this one from Hogfather never ceases to get a laugh out of me.When I first read it,I couldn't stop laughing for several minutes.


This is very similar to the suggestion put forth by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre,who said,"Possibly the gods exist,and possibly they do not.So why not believe in them in any case?If it's all true,you'll go to a lovely place when you die,and if it isn't,you've lost nothing,right?

When he died,he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty looking sticks and one of them said 'We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts....'


So,what are your favourite Discworld lines?

Bialar Crais

Oh..too many to mention... But a small sample:

From mort:
"Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges."

"You like it?" he said to Mort, in pretty much the same tone of voice people used when they said to St George, "You killed a what?"

Moving pictures:
"Students?" barked the Archchancellor. "Yes, Master. You know? They're the thinner ones with the pale faces? Because we're a university? They come with the whole thing, like rats --"

"Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact."

"Azhural raised his staff. "It's fifteen hundred miles to Ankh-Morpork," he said. "We've got three hundred and sixty-three elephants, fifty carts of forage, the monsoon's about to break and we're wearing... we're wearing... sort of things, like glass, only dark... dark glass things on our eyes...""

""Why's it called Ming?" said the Archchancellor, on cue. The Bursar tapped the pot. It went ming."

Reaper man:
"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

"DROP THE SCYTHE, AND TURN AROUND SLOWLY"


Small gods:
"You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look."

"That's right," he said. "We're philosophers. We think, therefore we am."

"His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans -- and summed up all three of them in his famous phrase, "You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink."


Damn, better stop now before i fill up the entire board.