Freethought & Rationalism Archive

beth · 02-17-2003, 06:32 AM

No, right now I'm the one who is pretty rotten. My husband read a story I wrote in another forum about the whole Left Behind thing. It was quite mean. I've been trying to be very nice, lately, so my humor has been somewhat sarcastic and sardonic. He only read the first post and he quit reading it when I told him he wasn't allowed to read the rest, but the damage was done. He was very hurt. I told him that I posted that because I thought I had privacy and my journal was no longer safe, so I vented with that post. I guess he understood. I think he finally realizes that I'm no longer a Christian. He did tell me that it's kind of hard trying to deal with the fact that his wife no longer has any hope.

I'm not sure what happens now, but I've decided that I've had an intolerant attitude, and that is quite wrong. Beliefs are beliefs. There is no way to prove a god and there is no way to prove a lack of god. I chose to believe that there is no God, but others are entitled to believe in whatever deity they want. I will listen to their beliefs because they are part of who they are. I will not look down at them for trying to save my soul, because I do understand it is done out of love and concern. I chose to respect that concern and try to understand(because I do) and appreciate their way of thought. By mocking them and scorning them, I am much worse than they.

You are right that it is wrong for me to be coerced into anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't think he will try to force me or pressure me into anything again after reading my nasty little post. He won't try to get me to say the blessing again( I do say it with my kids when my husband isn't home, and I say it the way I taught them.) because I refused to the other night and it upset my children very much. I explained that when he is home for dinner, he will pray.

I did go to church and all that intolerant attitude was thrown out. The people closest to me clapped when I walked into the church. I was greeted with the most loving hugs and requests that I sing again soon. I was wrong to make an unfounded judgement on many people based on the reaction of a few. I should have realized that they were all better people than that. They not once mentioned my disbelief and the only time people said they would pray for me was in reguards to my singing again. So, I was wrong. I was wrong about a whole slew of things.

agapeo · 02-17-2003, 06:54 AM

Quote:

So, I was wrong. I was wrong about a whole slew of things.

If I may interject here. I think what you are basically saying is that you were wrong about your attitude and subsequent demeanor towards all those who have a belief differing with yours. I think that's important to realize because our attitudes affect our relationships with others. When it comes to our relationship with those we love -- we need to check our attitudes and be considerate in how we interact with them because what we do today impacts our tomorrows.

On a side note. There is no shame is being wrong. It's a shame when you realize you are and yet refuse to admit it. That's called pride, IMO.

Elbereth · 02-17-2003, 08:54 AM

Quote:

I'm not sure what happens now, but I've decided that I've had an intolerant attitude, and that is quite wrong. Beliefs are beliefs. There is no way to prove a god and there is no way to prove a lack of god. I chose to believe that there is no God, but others are entitled to believe in whatever deity they want. I will listen to their beliefs because they are part of who they are. I will not look down at them for trying to save my soul, because I do understand it is done out of love and concern. I chose to respect that concern and try to understand(because I do) and appreciate their way of thought.

:notworthy (I would prefer a thumbs up icon, but that will do, you get the idea.)

You found your tolerance a lot faster than I did when I realized and admitted I was an atheist. At first, when you just get out of the demoralizing and harmful thought processes of Christianity and are in a way liberated, it is natural to view it negatively. After a while, you realize that it is not demoralizing and harmful for everyone, and for some people it is even helpful. So now I think things will be much easier for you.

Quote:

The people closest to me clapped when I walked into the church.

That must have been something.

Stephen T-B · 02-17-2003, 09:29 AM

Giving up Believing is a bit like giving up smoking.
When I saw a smoker after I�d given up, I thought: �You�re MAD MAD MAD.�
I�m more tolerant now.
When I met a Believer after I�d given up trying to believing, I thought: �You�re MAD MAD MAD.�
I�m more tolerant now. [Unnecessary insult deleted.]

[Keep it civil. -Rimstalker]

beth · 02-20-2003, 06:01 AM

Well things have turned. My husband now hates me. He says he cannot forgive me for what I wrote. He told me I was like all the other f-ing idiots out there who say there is no god. He said I was f-ed up in the head. He said I've decided to divide our house.

Stephen T-B · 02-20-2003, 06:40 AM

(I guess he's unhappy about losing the prop he'd come to rely on.)

Vicar Philip · 02-20-2003, 07:04 AM

I'm very sorry he said those hurtful things to you. I hope you've taken some steps to protect yourself.

Vicar

Carrie · 02-24-2003, 07:43 PM

Hey I have pages upon pages of reasons why you should doubt the Bible and the Bible's god. If you'd like I can e-mail them to you. My e-mail is carriefawer@hotmail.com so let me know. I have just recently quit Christianity and I was into it hardcore for 6 years. Recently quit meaning like the last couple of weeks.
I have done a lot of research, and I have reasons that are easy to read and understand. I'm a good writer, and I'm smart, and my reasons are well thought out and based on a great deal of knowledge that I have about the Bible.

Now since you are just starting your journey of doubt, it may be a bit soon to conclude that there is no god. Maybe God just isn't the god of the Bible. The American Indians prayed to the "Great Spirit" and she's not a genocidal maniac jerk like the Bible's god is. And me personally, for now, I'm not giving up yet on the idea that there is a God. I think the universe is God or something. I mean, the universe is eternal, and it's not like it had to be created. Christians say god had to create the universe, but that's not true, because what made god? If God could have always existed, then the universe could have always existed, with no beginning or end. And the universe is obviously intelligent, and since we are part of it, it must care about us in some sort of way. If we die we just go right back into the universe, so it's not going to be bad. Don't worry, you're not going to hell. The real God would not create people that he knew would end up burning in hell forever.

Maybe there is a God, and maybe there's not. We can't know. I choose to believe in some sort of God, but that God is good.
We can never say for sure if there is a God or not, so I'm not going to say I don't believe in God. I just don't freakin' know, and that's okay. My cat doesn't know, and she's okay with it.
I try to model my life after her. She looks happy as hell.

Peace,
Carrie

copernicus · 02-24-2003, 08:00 PM

I'm really sorry to hear that, blondegoddess. All I can say is that I wish you the best. You are your own person now. Life can be very painful sometimes.

beth · 02-25-2003, 06:19 AM

Thanks guys. I've decided to no longer care about what people say or think. I was getting too depressed.
I have felt tremendous pressure by church and my family (husband and cousin) to find God again. I keep praying, but my heart does not change. The more I read, the more I see proofs against there being a god.

After going through this, I now see that I probably was guilty of doing this to my brother. I suprised he even still talks to me. It is amazing how Christianity-or at least fundementalism-seems to make one oblivious to the person and their feelings.

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02-17-2003, 06:32 AM	#381
beth Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: where orange blossoms bloom... Posts: 1,802	No, right now I'm the one who is pretty rotten. My husband read a story I wrote in another forum about the whole Left Behind thing. It was quite mean. I've been trying to be very nice, lately, so my humor has been somewhat sarcastic and sardonic. He only read the first post and he quit reading it when I told him he wasn't allowed to read the rest, but the damage was done. He was very hurt. I told him that I posted that because I thought I had privacy and my journal was no longer safe, so I vented with that post. I guess he understood. I think he finally realizes that I'm no longer a Christian. He did tell me that it's kind of hard trying to deal with the fact that his wife no longer has any hope. I'm not sure what happens now, but I've decided that I've had an intolerant attitude, and that is quite wrong. Beliefs are beliefs. There is no way to prove a god and there is no way to prove a lack of god. I chose to believe that there is no God, but others are entitled to believe in whatever deity they want. I will listen to their beliefs because they are part of who they are. I will not look down at them for trying to save my soul, because I do understand it is done out of love and concern. I chose to respect that concern and try to understand(because I do) and appreciate their way of thought. By mocking them and scorning them, I am much worse than they. You are right that it is wrong for me to be coerced into anything that makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't think he will try to force me or pressure me into anything again after reading my nasty little post. He won't try to get me to say the blessing again( I do say it with my kids when my husband isn't home, and I say it the way I taught them.) because I refused to the other night and it upset my children very much. I explained that when he is home for dinner, he will pray. I did go to church and all that intolerant attitude was thrown out. The people closest to me clapped when I walked into the church. I was greeted with the most loving hugs and requests that I sing again soon. I was wrong to make an unfounded judgement on many people based on the reaction of a few. I should have realized that they were all better people than that. They not once mentioned my disbelief and the only time people said they would pray for me was in reguards to my singing again. So, I was wrong. I was wrong about a whole slew of things.

02-17-2003, 09:29 AM	#384
Stephen T-B Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Leeds, UK Posts: 5,878	Giving up Believing is a bit like giving up smoking. When I saw a smoker after I�d given up, I thought: �You�re MAD MAD MAD.� I�m more tolerant now. When I met a Believer after I�d given up trying to believing, I thought: �You�re MAD MAD MAD.� I�m more tolerant now. [Unnecessary insult deleted.] [Keep it civil. -Rimstalker]

02-20-2003, 06:01 AM	#385
beth Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: where orange blossoms bloom... Posts: 1,802	Well things have turned. My husband now hates me. He says he cannot forgive me for what I wrote. He told me I was like all the other f-ing idiots out there who say there is no god. He said I was f-ed up in the head. He said I've decided to divide our house.

02-20-2003, 06:40 AM	#386
Stephen T-B Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Leeds, UK Posts: 5,878	(I guess he's unhappy about losing the prop he'd come to rely on.)

02-20-2003, 07:04 AM	#387
Vicar Philip Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Cozy little chapel of me own Posts: 1,162	I'm very sorry he said those hurtful things to you. I hope you've taken some steps to protect yourself. Vicar

02-24-2003, 07:43 PM	#388
Carrie Regular Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Midwest Posts: 424	Hey I have pages upon pages of reasons why you should doubt the Bible and the Bible's god. If you'd like I can e-mail them to you. My e-mail is carriefawer@hotmail.com so let me know. I have just recently quit Christianity and I was into it hardcore for 6 years. Recently quit meaning like the last couple of weeks. I have done a lot of research, and I have reasons that are easy to read and understand. I'm a good writer, and I'm smart, and my reasons are well thought out and based on a great deal of knowledge that I have about the Bible. Now since you are just starting your journey of doubt, it may be a bit soon to conclude that there is no god. Maybe God just isn't the god of the Bible. The American Indians prayed to the "Great Spirit" and she's not a genocidal maniac jerk like the Bible's god is. And me personally, for now, I'm not giving up yet on the idea that there is a God. I think the universe is God or something. I mean, the universe is eternal, and it's not like it had to be created. Christians say god had to create the universe, but that's not true, because what made god? If God could have always existed, then the universe could have always existed, with no beginning or end. And the universe is obviously intelligent, and since we are part of it, it must care about us in some sort of way. If we die we just go right back into the universe, so it's not going to be bad. Don't worry, you're not going to hell. The real God would not create people that he knew would end up burning in hell forever. Maybe there is a God, and maybe there's not. We can't know. I choose to believe in some sort of God, but that God is good. We can never say for sure if there is a God or not, so I'm not going to say I don't believe in God. I just don't freakin' know, and that's okay. My cat doesn't know, and she's okay with it. I try to model my life after her. She looks happy as hell. Peace, Carrie

02-24-2003, 08:00 PM	#389
copernicus Veteran Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Bellevue, WA Posts: 1,531	I'm really sorry to hear that, blondegoddess. All I can say is that I wish you the best. You are your own person now. Life can be very painful sometimes.

02-25-2003, 06:19 AM	#390
beth Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: where orange blossoms bloom... Posts: 1,802	Thanks guys. I've decided to no longer care about what people say or think. I was getting too depressed. I have felt tremendous pressure by church and my family (husband and cousin) to find God again. I keep praying, but my heart does not change. The more I read, the more I see proofs against there being a god. After going through this, I now see that I probably was guilty of doing this to my brother. I suprised he even still talks to me. It is amazing how Christianity-or at least fundementalism-seems to make one oblivious to the person and their feelings.

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