Puck

Well, you've let the cat out of the bag now. It looks like you are at a major turning point in your life, which means you are coming into a time where you have some choices to make.

I don't want you dead, either. What I want for you is to learn to find a good life. You've got a rough start, people have started with much less. I notice your location...the mind. The mind can be a wonderful or terrible place. There comes a point in the life of any of us who have been abused where we must let go of blaming others and take responsibility for our own selves. Will you take command of your life and do the 'right' thing? Come on, somewhere inside you know what the right thing is. You have a rougher road ahead of you than alot of folks do, but what can be gained long run can give you a depth and compassion deeper than most have. You're potential is amazing, I hope down the road we hear about how you are a positive force in society. I hope that we don't hear of your death.

Professional help is definatly on the menu. Spend some time seeking the right professional, you aren't just dealing with a little bout of depression, you need someone who can really understand and not freak out over your 'quirks'.

Other than the way your parents are relating to you, are they basically caring people? Your behaviour is probably freaking them out and they have no clue what to do. Can you go to them and tell them you are pretty wounded and need them to help you get out of this? If not them, anyone you know who will care? If there is no one, then get a shower, turn on the lights, refuse to let your depression take your life away from you, and take charge of your own well being.

As for your face, unless we are born with magazine good looks, all of us go through that. Your face isn't the problem, the depression in your mind is. Take care of that and I bet you learn to love your funny ole face!

I'll be rooting for you!

Monkeybot

T,

Even though I've been harsh in my criticism of some of your posts, I certainly don't want you dead. I may disagree with your views, and even find some of them repugnant, but that's a far cry from a death wish.

I think it's great that you are clearly thinking about the world around you and trying to make sense of things. I emphatically suggest that you seek professional help, such as therapy, in order to help you come to a healthier, happier understanding of yourself and of the world. It sounds like you have some deep-seated issues you need to work through. I, for one, hope you hang on and give it a try.

Talulah

Just keep liking people who are 5 years younger than you, and it will all be ok when you are an adult. Your mind and your attractions are still forming, and nothing is set in stone yet.

Please, if nothing else, call a hotline and talk to someone (though be careful with the suicidal gestures if you do that). You have a right to be happy, no matter what anyone else thinks about you.

RoddyM

Totalitarianist is not a fool. Tot, you don't want or need professional anything. You've just gotta ride it out. The world is a pisspoor boring place. Terrorism is not terrific, it's tedious.

Morons make the best with what they have, soldier on, put on a stiff upper lip, pay their rent, put food on the table, keep a roof over their heads, buy their kids shoes, put in a stitch to save nine, can't be too careful, look on the bright side. They do all these things because they are morons.

Don't break a law that is likely to cause you guilt. Be alert to recognise events that motivate you. Don't go volunteering at the local nursing home, that's bullshit. You can't motivate yourself by trying "new things" or forcing yourself into groups. That's crap.

You just have to be patient.

Talulah

Patiently wait until depression leads to suicide???

Shake

Sounds like something out of a NIN album. Maybe you collaborate with Mr. Reznor on his next work.

Seriously, I don't really have anything new to add to what everyone else has said. Hang in there! Add me to the list of people who don't want you dead.

abe smith

Talulah

You could show a bit of compassion.

abe smith

Dr Rick

I and many others here care.

Totalitarianist, get some professional help; there's no reason you should hurt this way.

Rick