HelenM

Generally, it seems to me that the parents I know because of my children being friends with their children, who work, have looked as long and hard as is necessary to find excellent caregivers for their children. I know some of these caregivers from seeing them at the school. I talk to them; they are neat people and they obviously care about the children they're looking after.

In any profession some people do a better job than others.

Helen

Queen of Swords

Originally posted by fatherphil
does a hireling generally hold a child's interest in the same light as a parent?

Depends on the hireling and the parent, doesn't it?

do you really equate the care and bonding they offer as the same as that of a mother?

What kind of mother would that be? For example, I don't think Susan Smith, Andrea Yates and Diane Downs offered their children the same tenderness and bonding that they could have had from a care provider.

Queen of Swords

Originally posted by fatherphil
qos. how much do you think parents need to earn to insure the level of care for one child insuring its "support and education"?

I know that my brother's college costs my parents twenty thousand dollars a year - and that's just for tuition and fees. It doesn't cover books, rent, living expenses and so on.

And why do you say "one child"? It might be more than one child. In my country, people can have more than one baby and they frequently do.

fatherphil

so you would expect the parents of 3 children to both work enough to cover living expenses and end up with $300,000 for tuition money at the end of the road? at that rate i believe most families are failing regardless of whether both parents are working or not.

and when i ask whether generally speaking parents have more concern for their children than a caregiver it is just that, a generalization. i have not brought up the worst examples of caregivers so why do you bring up the worst examples of parents?

Queen of Swords

Originally posted by fatherphil
so you would expect the parents of 3 children to both work enough to cover living expenses and end up with $300,000 for tuition money at the end of the road?

No, I would not.

Maybe some children would be happy to go to vocational school or to start on a trade, and they would not need an expensive education. In my family, both my brother and I chose professions that required advanced degrees. Different children have different needs and wants - and you only know this, unfortunately, after you have the children, so you don't have the option to avoid mating with someone on that basis.

and when i ask whether generally speaking parents have more concern for their children than a caregiver it is just that, a generalization.

The problem is that there is little if any validity in generalizations.

i have not brought up the worst examples of caregivers so why do you bring up the worst examples of parents?

Well, you had not specified what example of parent you had in mind when you said "a mother". It could have been a good mother, a bad mother, an indifferent mother, etc. I was pointing out that not all mothers show deep caring/nurturing towards their children.

yguy

Then there is little if any validity in this or any other topic, since one can hardly consider whether farming out child rearing is good, bad or indifferent without generalizing.

Queen of Swords

Originally posted by yguy
Then there is little if any validity in this or any other topic, since one can hardly consider whether farming out child rearing is good, bad or indifferent without generalizing.

One can quote studies to show evidence that day care has deleterious effects on children; this doesn't make generalizations.

fatherphil

so the dual income would not be necessary until the kids are finished with their primary education. certainly you can not know that your infant is going to want to go to harvard.

also, would you agree that the best mother has more concern for her children than the best day care provider?

Queen of Swords

Originally posted by fatherphil
so the dual income would not be necessary until the kids are finished with their primary education.

Try getting a well-paying job when you're old(er) and inexperienced. In my part of the world, anyway - I don't know about yours.

certainly you can not know that your infant is going to want to go to harvard.

I don't know about infants, but before I was eight years old it was obvious that I enjoyed education and science. Moreover, some children may be extremely gifted, and parents may want to give them music lessons, private education, etc.

also, would you agree that the best mother has more concern for her children than the best day care provider?

Define "best mother"; I'd like to see how closely your definition matches mine.

yguy

Going by your past performances, I'm going to assume this is a sarcastic dig, since I can't make sense of it otherwise. Of course one can draw generalizations from any study, which may or may not have merit. So what?