pilaar

The following post by abe smith started me thinking about the fathers and the choices they make.

I replied:

I was thinking about a theoretical situation where I ended up pregnant but the man involved and I would not intend to live together and to rear the child together. I would consider the wishes of the man involved to raise the child on his own as valid as my own option to do the same. I would carry the pregnancy to term but giving up the born child would be an extremely difficult thing to do in reality. It is fine talking about it in theory, but to actually go through with it would probably be a heartbreaking thing to do. I would also be considered a very bad mother for doing that, even though I may have had the best interests of child and father in mind.

Which made me wonder, is giving up on ones own child as hard to do for males as it is for a female but the males just deal with the separation differently from the females and don't show their feelings as much? Or do 9 months of pregnancy make such a big difference? What goes thought the male's brain when they do abandon their own children. Do they have any guilt feelings and how do they deal with them? What are some of the reasons that fathers seem to find it so much easier to leave the children. Is it just biology or are fathers just not as attached to their offspring as mothers seem to be.

Obviously, there are many men who care for their kids a great deal but do others need strong social pressures to make them care for their children. Also, with fathers having so much bad press lately, how relevant are 'father based religions' like christianity. An image of a father god sacrificing his child just doesn't carry much weight any more as the bond between many fathers and their children does not seem very strong any more. Did fathers really stay with their children more in the past, if so, what has changed? Was it just cultural pressure? Has the work on gender equality benefited men even more than women by giving them the choice to walk away?

I do not really have fixed views on these issues that is why I am interested in hearing others thoughts and points of view on this stuff. The worst scenario I can think of would be to be a mother and to have to force the man into being a father, or to chase him around the country for payments. I would also find it very hard to cope with the hurt feelings of the child involved as fathers as well as mothers have enormous impact on children. Many men say that they would resent being made to support the child, so I am wondering why is there not more interest in contraceptive pill for the males from the males in order to be more in control of their own fertility and in turn their own future.

Any thoughts....

pilaar

himynameisPwn

Um, I made a smilar post. Sorry, I'll contribute to this one. Would the moderators please delete mine? Thanks

himynameisPwn

I certainly disagree with abe. The mans body may not be affected, but its also the mans offspring, and as such I think the man should have a say in any pregnancy that isn't health threatening to the woman. How can you justify such an opinion when the man is clearly involved and it is his offspring also.