HelenM

For what it's worth, I would be just as unhappy about someone who is not yet adult initiating sexual activity with my children as someone who is an adult already. It wouldn't make it ok with me that an under 18 (or 16 or whatever) year old is doing it.

Helen

Daleth

I don't know how old the children you're talking about are, Helen, so this may make no sense at all. But say it's an 11 or 12 year old initiating the sex with a younger kid. Would you feel that criminal charges should be filed, or that this 11 or 12 year old had things to learn and would be best dealt with by parents or a counsellor? (For the sake of simplicity, this was a one time event, not a kid who's been terrorizing all the 6-year-olds in the neighborhood even after having been taught not to.)

I ask this because these days we have very young kids (even kindergarteners) being brought up on criminal CSA or sexual harrassment charges, and that to me is a sign of an irrational public.

Dal

NHGH

But a criminologist studying serial killers doesn't have to remain emotionally detached "because the work would otherwise destroy [his] humanity". He has to remain detached because he otherwise risks making his academic findings on the basis of emotion rather than facts and reason, and thus lowering the intellectual quality of his work.

I'm afraid I simply don't agree that such emotional detachment, which is basically just a commitment to intellectual rigor, constitutes "self-sacrifice." Furthermore (and more to the point being made here), I don't think that an intellectual interest in antisocial conduct, and those who engage in it, is "unhealthy".

But on to the meat of your argument here:

It's evident that Fr.Andrew is interested in the subject; it's not so evident that the interest is "unhealthy".
If you mean by this that Fr.Andrew is seeking validation of his desire to engage in sexual behavior with children, it is a) far from clear that he has any such desire (he disclaims any, and I've seen no clear evidence to the contrary); and b) extremely clear that no such validation is forthcoming on this board, so if that's his motivation in posting here, he'd have to be especially dimwitted.

On the other hand, if you simply mean that he's trying to persuade others of his point of view... well, why else does one post on a board such as this?
I think it's reasonably clear that Fr.Andrew is not an academic researcher in this field; he's just an interested layman with a rather controversial point of view. I don't see that this means his interest in the topic is necessarily "unhealthy", though.
Since I don't have any kids, perhaps I'm the wrong person to ask. Based on what I've read here, though, I wouldn't be bothered in the least to have him living next door; it might even make for a few interesting chats over the fence.

If I did have kids, would I want him living next door? I could imagine much worse neighbors to have. Say, a religious fundamentalist who tried to proselytize my children at every opportunity. Or a self-appointed child sexual abuse "expert" of the sort we saw during the '80s and '90s, who seemed to see sexual abuse under every rock and behind every tree.

Odemus

Good points NHGH. I still feel that Fr. Andrew is a little too interested in this subject based on the things I've seen him post in the past.

Perhaps I've been a little too harsh. My apologies, I won't allow my disdain for Fr. Andrew's favorite subject to get in the way of what will otherwise lead to very helpful advancements in our children's sexual education and experimentation.

Amen-Moses

Would anyone care to answer my post?

Is my daughter a freak for wanting to discuss sexuality issues whereas my son is not for wanting to discuss same?

Amen-Moses

yguy

To my mind, no one here has been anything near harsh enough. He has avoided my questions like the plague, and that speaks volumes to me. I don't think the rules of the board allow for the kind of harshness of inquiry that is warranted here.

yguy

I, for one, do not consider it progress that girls are becoming as willing to view the opposite sex as objects of sexual use as guys are. It should be discouraged in either case.

HelenM

I think it's appropriate to treat children who have done something wrong differently from adults who have.

By saying how much I would disapprove of a child initiating sexual activity with mine, I wasn't necessarily saying I think they should be dealt with the same way as an adult. I think it's usual to deal with children charged with crimes differently from adults, isn't it? On the whole it seems that one could more justifiably claim a child 'didn't know better' than an adult [who is mentally an adult].

I don't know enough about what children are being charged with to write anything more specific.

Helen

Amen-Moses

Did I say at any point that she does?

NO!

What I am asking is why she should be given grief for discussing issues regarding her OWN sexuality when my son is given no grief for doing the same?

(at the moment she is discussing whether she might be homosexual as she is attracted to a female peer, why is dicussion on this issue verbotten?)

Amen-Moses

Amen-Moses

Why is it even a crime?

Let's just make a hypothetical case where your son is 11 and a 13 year old girl persuades him to have sex with her. Where in your mind has a crime occured and why?

Amen-Moses