Godless Dave

Soem friends of mine put their baby in day care at about six months and she is doing just fine. She used to cry when they dropped her off, and she would keep crying until Dad was out in the parking lot - then she would start playing with the nearest toy. CAVEAT: they have access to a very, very good (and expensive) day care center. A bad day care situation, where the babies do not get enough attention, would be very bad for the child. But I feel strongly that good day care is as good for a child as staying home with a parent. The idea that little kids (under 4) are harmed by being separated from their parents for 8 or 9 hours a day seems like alarmism unsupported by any evidence.

brighid

QoS,

Here is a link for au pair services if your friend is state side:
http://www.aupairinamerica.com/

Brighid

yguy

Are you seriously presenting THIS as evidence that no harm is done when an infant is deprived of its mother for any length of time??

Tell you what, Dave: if the motivation of the parents for delegating the bulk of the job to outsiders is at all selfish - as seems very likely here given the couple's financial resources, which presumably could allow for mom to stay home with the kid - the child will know it. Guaranteed.

Godless Dave

You provided an anecdote, I provided an anecdote.

I disagree entirely that the motivation is in any way selfish. The couple's financial resources do not allow for the mom to stay home with the kid - the value of her salary plus benefits, especially health insurance, is greater than what they are spending on day care. They might allow for the father to stay home with the kid. They investigated that option but decided they wanted the income - to pay a mortgage on a house in a safe, friendly neighborhood one block away from a very good day care center, provide for the child, and save money for her college tuition. I don't see those as selfish. Nor do I think it is selfish for both parents to want a career, particularly when one of those careers is public school teacher. Indeed I think it will provide a good role model for their daughter.

As long as the day care provider is nurturing, attentive, and trained in child care I don't see what harm could be caused by being separated from the mother for 8 or 9 hours, five days a week. To me, day care isn't an issue - QUALITY day care is an issue.

brighid

Why don't you provide us with some peer-reviewed, published scientific studies that clearly demonstrates any significant harm caused an infant, toddler and/or child when he/she is left with a quality day care provider and then we might have something to talk about. Until then your ascertations are baseless.

Brighid

yguy

That, of course, is problemmatic if we can't agree on what constitutes "significant harm". What we'd have to see is evidence of a long-term trend in a negative direction. From my POV, the election of Clinton twice is prima facie evidence of such a trend, but I know no one here will find that compelling.

Let me just say to those of you who find expedient to farm out your child-rearing that someday, when you get old enough for Depends and the like, you will be to your children what children were to you as infants; so when you get to that point, don't be too surprised if they find it convenient to treat you as you treated them.

Viti

yguy...where do you live that one income couples can afford nice homes in safe neighborhoods, insurance, vehicles, put away savings etc? The cost of living has risen much faster than salaries and the economy sucks right now. Are you suggesting only couples in the upper income brackets should be able to have children?

Roland98

Hi yguy--

Can I ask if you have kids?

brighid

Well I certainly do hope that my son treats me as I have treated him given that he is treated with respect, kindness, love, understanding and has been, and will continue to be provided with the best care givers I (and now my husband) can possibly provide: including teachers, counselors, tutors, coaches, doctors, etc.

Brighid

yguy

Why, how DARE you be so intrusive?

I have none. Consider it my contribution to the welfare of society.