Doubting Didymus

I had a sex crazed rufus whistler that started every morning at 4 and went to midday each and every day. It was courting its reflection in the windows. Rufus whistlers are one of those songbirds that sing continuously and very badly, but they also randomly change their song pattern very often so it's impossible to just get used to it. We caught it once and took it in the car two hundred kilometers away to get rid of the bastard and it was back the next morning.

Eventually we just sold the house.

snoiduspoitus

My friends have a cockatoo and and African Gray. The cockatoo is totally annoying, wailing out horrendous whistles which give you goosebumps. The gray is the coolest bird ever, and has a better vocabulary than some people. He'll let go with outbursts as well, but his tend to be (screaming) "SHIT!", "GODAMMIT!", and "FUCK!"

Joyous

I recall the day my mother yelled "DAMMIT--SHUT UP" at my loudly EEPING parakeet.

She was taken aback when the bird yelled it back to her.

Strawberry

My parents had a robin outside their window two years ago that would sit on the bird feeder, about 10 feet from the house, and fly into the window, bounce off the screen, and land back on the bird feeder. OVER and OVER and OVER. Half an hour at a time, sometimes. And the thing about window screens is that they act as drum heads, so everyone in the whole fucking house would wake up. Dad hung strips of cloth from that window to get it to go away, and it just started flying at the basement window (inside a window well) instead!

I was talking to the neighbor kid later on and everybody on the street had had a visit from that robin. I don't know how the damn thing found time to eat.

Catseye

I lived on campus for my first year of university. The campus is full of ducks. Every year, the first-years get told that it's in their best interests not to feed the ducks. And every year, the first-years feed the ducks every morning for the first two weeks. And for a whole sodding year, I got woken up at 8am by very loud ducks outside the window demanding breakfast.

I think I preferred the owl that woke me up all night through the summer. It was noisy as well, but at least it wasn't doing it deliberately to get my attention.

Evangelion

Magpies.

Believe me - magpies are the worst.

Treacle Worshipper

Yes, they are vermin. They get in the trash & spread it all across the streets. And then we get tourists in the summer, and they feed the seagulls. (Eeeeevil tourists.) The seagulls are so bold that if you go for a picnic on the Prom, they will take food out of your hand if you don't watch it & them constantly.
TW

Shake

Reminded me of that episode of Friends where Phoebe was dating the cop (Michael Rappaport), and the morning after she moves in with him, they're lying in bed and hear a bird chirping. He tells her to hold on, picks up his gun and *BLAM* he shoots it!

Friar Bellows

Really? I think magpies are great. We get cuckoos which tend to wake up the entire neighbourhood at about 5am. Rainbow lorikeets can also make quite a racket. For me, any loud bird sound is infinitely better than the sound of my neighbour being unnecessarily loud and following these rules:

1. I'll SLAM my front door every single time I enter my apartment, because that's my right!

2. I'll hold incredibly loud, frequent and personal phone conversations on my balcony so that they can be heard by the entire apartment complex.

3. I'll carry out rennovations at 7:00am, especially on the weekends because that's when everyone is trying to catch up on some lost sleep due to work or late-night socialising.

4. I'll keep some heavy, hanging iron bars on my balcony which make an infernal racket every time the wind gets strong (no, they're not wind chimes, I like wind chimes).

5. I'll cough my lungs out every morning so that everyone hears, before having a couple of smokes out on the balcony to spread around that wonderful smell.

FoE

Anyone that feeds seagulls should be bludgeoned to death.