Freethought & Rationalism Archive

DarkBronzePlant · 08-07-2003, 04:26 PM

Bored at work, waiting for code to compile, so I thought I would see what was up at the ILJ boards. Found this gem :

Quote:

dose anyone hear ever get scared of the left behind becouse you think if you ever do any littel thing wrong that you will get left behind are if you are doing something wrong youll get left behind

But what was even better than this question and its horrifying spelling & grammer was the response:

Quote:

I understand. I spent most of a year in absolute terror of being left behind because of something I knowingly or unknowingly did wrong. The first thing I did every morning was to call someone from church and make sure they were still here and checked a few times through the day. God showed me I was thinking too much about the rapture and too little about Jesus. My focus was on me and what I did and didn't do and on my fear...blahblahblah...

Could you imagine being the church person she's refering to?

"Yes, Ann, I am still here. Just like I have been every day this week that you've called. (I swear to God, one of these mornings I'm just not going to answer the phone when you call!)"

fidiot · 08-07-2003, 06:40 PM

Could you imagine being so paranoid? Jesus fucking Christ, some people are really stupid.

Defiant Heretic · 08-07-2003, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkBronzePlant
(I swear to God, one of these mornings I'm just not going to answer the phone when you call!)

Even better: Answer the phone, and then halfway through the conversation, drop it and remain absolutely silent.

Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ · 08-07-2003, 09:52 PM

I really hope someone I know (or meet in the future) is that paranoid. I would LOVE to fuck with them.

Cynical-Chick · 08-07-2003, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ
I really hope someone I know (or meet in the future) is that paranoid. I would LOVE to fuck with them.

Seconded.

Doctor X · 08-08-2003, 01:35 AM

Heeeee!

Reminds me of Rev. Lovejoy trying to convince Flanders to convert to another "wonderful religion" to get rid of him.

Quote:

Hello. This is the Third Holy Roller Church of Christ. If you are calling it is because you are left behind and damned for all eternity.

Have a nice day!

Beep!

--J.D.

crocodile deathroll · 08-08-2003, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by fidiot
Could you imagine being so paranoid? Jesus fucking Christ, some people are really stupid.

Thanks, I really wanted to know his middle name. You could post it to them on that ILJ board.

DarkBronzePlant · 08-08-2003, 03:53 PM

The prayer request ones are some of the best. Looking at this one, I'm wondering not only the obvious questions about who would actually respond to a prayer request by posting a glurgy little prayer to an online BBS (does god really frquent internet sites?), but what kind of a suck bastard "faith15" must be to respond to the OP's post about a dying father-in-law with a bunch of smiling and laughing emoticons... (actually, wait, maybe that's Laci in disguise!)

catmar · 08-08-2003, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DarkBronzePlant
The prayer request ones are some of the best. Looking at this one, I'm wondering not only the obvious questions about who would actually respond to a prayer request by posting a glurgy little prayer to an online BBS (does god really frquent internet sites?), but what kind of a suck bastard "faith15" must be to respond to the OP's post about a dying father-in-law with a bunch of smiling and laughing emoticons... (actually, wait, maybe that's Laci in disguise!)

Anyone notice that angel smiley on that post? Devil's Night greeting cards kind of precious. Where's a puke smiley when you need it?!

Defiant Heretic · 08-08-2003, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by crocodile deathroll:
Thanks, I really wanted to know his middle name. You could post it to them on that ILJ board.

Different Jesus. You're thinking of Jesus H. Christ.

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08-07-2003, 06:40 PM	#2
fidiot Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Bumland Posts: 61	Could you imagine being so paranoid? Jesus fucking Christ, some people are really stupid.

08-07-2003, 09:52 PM	#4
Jesus Tap-Dancin' Christ Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Heaven Posts: 6,980	I really hope someone I know (or meet in the future) is that paranoid. I would LOVE to fuck with them.

08-08-2003, 03:53 PM	#8
DarkBronzePlant Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: San Francisco, CA USA Posts: 3,568	The prayer request ones are some of the best. Looking at this one, I'm wondering not only the obvious questions about who would actually respond to a prayer request by posting a glurgy little prayer to an online BBS (does god really frquent internet sites?), but what kind of a suck bastard "faith15" must be to respond to the OP's post about a dying father-in-law with a bunch of smiling and laughing emoticons... (actually, wait, maybe that's Laci in disguise!)

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