Freethought & Rationalism Archive

NonHomogenized · 06-14-2003, 02:43 AM

I know for a fact it takes one of those bricks. I once actually said, "That was a *date* you asked me on, wasn't it." ... when we met for it, no less. I kinda half-suspected, but that was the first time I considered it seriously. What, me oblivious?
And the only reason I didn't say that to any of my other 3 girlfriends was because they outright told me they were interested in me. And if they hadn't, I would probably have never guessed.

Anson · 06-14-2003, 02:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by FoE
How so? It would be dishonest of me to pretend that i didn't think other girls were attractive. If my fiance sees a guy see thinks is cute and points it out it doesn't diminish our relationship at all. Physical attractiveness is only a small part of our love. If she tells me some guy she she met is really smart is that inconsiderate? If i say that so-and-so has great charisma should she feel bad?

The two of us are in love and that trumps petty attraction. I could probably stand to be less crude though

I guess it's okay if you're both comfortable with it. You must have a lot of trust and security in your relationship.

Stiletto One · 06-14-2003, 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lisarea
So just don't try too hard, make friends--male and female--and for crying out loud, if there's some girl following you around throwing bricks at your head everywhere you go, don't rule out the possibility that she's trying to get your attention.

Well, there was that one girl who kept hitting me in the head with Frisbees...but I don't think that counts.

(

)

NonH - Yeah, oblivious-ness (obliviosity?) is something that we guys need to work on. It seems like everyone I know either assumes that EVERYONE wants them, or that NO ONE wants them; and whether you're the former or latter determines whether you're a pimp-wannabe or a 'nice guy'. Or something.

Buddrow_Wilson · 06-14-2003, 01:35 PM

In my day to day life, I rarely run across anyone that I am really interested in. If someone is physically attractive it doesn't take much talk for me to realize that this isn't a person that I want a relationship with. In fact, I have probably only attempted to initiate any kind of contact with a woman a few times in my life (including childhood). However, oddly enough if a woman comes on to me, my opinion of them shoots up pretty quickly

. All my serious relationships have been with women who initiated the courtship. I've never had many friends for the same reasons. I guess I'm a hermit at heart.

Stiletto One · 06-14-2003, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Buddrow_Wilson
I guess I'm a hermit at heart.

To quote a friend of mine:

PEOPLE NEED TO DIE
'nuff said, there. :boohoo:

Buddrow_Wilson · 06-14-2003, 06:58 PM

Indeed, they do.

The Lone Ranger · 06-15-2003, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Stiletto One:

Yeah, oblivious-ness (obliviosity?) is something that we guys need to work on. It seems like everyone I know either assumes that EVERYONE wants them, or that NO ONE wants them; and whether you're the former or latter determines whether you're a pimp-wannabe or a 'nice guy'. Or something.

There's some truth to this, I think. In my own case, I definitely fall into the latter category. A friend of mine enjoys telling me that the only way I would notice that a woman was flirting with me is for her to grab me by the collar and tell me.

As for "chatting up" women, I haven't the vaguest idea what that entails. I talk with women exactly as I do with men. If, after getting to know a woman, I find her attractive, then there's the hope that something more will come out of the relationship than just friendship. Sadly, that hasn't happened in quite some time, though.

Cheers,

Michael

NZAmoeba · 06-15-2003, 05:49 PM

A question to the girls that have posted on this thread.

You've mentioned having crushes on guys before, but never asked them out... why the hell not? when was it law that the guy had to ask you out? Especially the girls who have crushes on geeks, people who end up with self-esteem so low they think that everyone is plotting against them, that any time they 'stand out of line' they'll be ridiculed and shot down, and that any genuine attempt someone makes to them to be nice must be some horrible joke they're playing?

Because yeah, geeks tend to grow up bitter enough, without finding out later that they could have been saved from waking up every morning with a feeling of dread and loneliness if you had of just spoken up...

<coughs and looks up> man... i have a girlfriend now and STILL this gets me pissy...

Suaup · 06-15-2003, 06:22 PM

If there's one thing I've realized is you'll be surprised how many girls secretly had crushes on you that you never knew about. As I've gotten older and talked to many of my friends from my high-school era the one thing they always tell me is "I had such a crush on you at the time." To which I always say "I did too, why didn't you say anything?" And the response is always "Because you never said anything to me!"

Now, I don't know if at the time they'd have really gone out with me, but I'm pretty sure many of them would have. The point is, that girl across the room who made eye contact with you then looked down is probably hoping you'll come over and talk to her. For better or worse, guys are still expected to make the opening move. Just start the conversation

You never know what will happen. And by the way, if they tell you they used to have a crush on you, take a hint about what to do

NZAmoeba · 06-15-2003, 06:32 PM

you forgot that i mentioned geeks...

to dare to talk to someone is a crime that will result in ridicule and possible beatings, not worth the risk.

In a study about human attractiveness that i saw on tv, they had a guy and a girl in college, and they went around asking people if they wanted to have sex with them. The girl got resounding yes's, the guy didn't get a single yes. (both were attractive)

from this, its obvious that girls should make the first move, as they are FAR less likely to be shot down. I can only assume that maybe girls don't know that....

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

06-14-2003, 02:43 AM	#81
NonHomogenized Veteran Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: no longer at IIDB Posts: 1,644	I know for a fact it takes one of those bricks. I once actually said, "That was a date you asked me on, wasn't it." ... when we met for it, no less. I kinda half-suspected, but that was the first time I considered it seriously. What, me oblivious? And the only reason I didn't say that to any of my other 3 girlfriends was because they outright told me they were interested in me. And if they hadn't, I would probably have never guessed.

06-14-2003, 01:35 PM	#84
Buddrow_Wilson Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Arkansas Posts: 1,589	In my day to day life, I rarely run across anyone that I am really interested in. If someone is physically attractive it doesn't take much talk for me to realize that this isn't a person that I want a relationship with. In fact, I have probably only attempted to initiate any kind of contact with a woman a few times in my life (including childhood). However, oddly enough if a woman comes on to me, my opinion of them shoots up pretty quickly . All my serious relationships have been with women who initiated the courtship. I've never had many friends for the same reasons. I guess I'm a hermit at heart.

06-14-2003, 06:58 PM	#86
Buddrow_Wilson Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Arkansas Posts: 1,589	Indeed, they do.

06-15-2003, 05:49 PM	#88
NZAmoeba Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New Zealand Posts: 478	A question to the girls that have posted on this thread. You've mentioned having crushes on guys before, but never asked them out... why the hell not? when was it law that the guy had to ask you out? Especially the girls who have crushes on geeks, people who end up with self-esteem so low they think that everyone is plotting against them, that any time they 'stand out of line' they'll be ridiculed and shot down, and that any genuine attempt someone makes to them to be nice must be some horrible joke they're playing? Because yeah, geeks tend to grow up bitter enough, without finding out later that they could have been saved from waking up every morning with a feeling of dread and loneliness if you had of just spoken up... <coughs and looks up> man... i have a girlfriend now and STILL this gets me pissy...

06-15-2003, 06:22 PM	#89
Suaup Junior Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Phoenix Posts: 90	If there's one thing I've realized is you'll be surprised how many girls secretly had crushes on you that you never knew about. As I've gotten older and talked to many of my friends from my high-school era the one thing they always tell me is "I had such a crush on you at the time." To which I always say "I did too, why didn't you say anything?" And the response is always "Because you never said anything to me!" Now, I don't know if at the time they'd have really gone out with me, but I'm pretty sure many of them would have. The point is, that girl across the room who made eye contact with you then looked down is probably hoping you'll come over and talk to her. For better or worse, guys are still expected to make the opening move. Just start the conversation You never know what will happen. And by the way, if they tell you they used to have a crush on you, take a hint about what to do

06-15-2003, 06:32 PM	#90
NZAmoeba Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New Zealand Posts: 478	you forgot that i mentioned geeks... to dare to talk to someone is a crime that will result in ridicule and possible beatings, not worth the risk. In a study about human attractiveness that i saw on tv, they had a guy and a girl in college, and they went around asking people if they wanted to have sex with them. The girl got resounding yes's, the guy didn't get a single yes. (both were attractive) from this, its obvious that girls should make the first move, as they are FAR less likely to be shot down. I can only assume that maybe girls don't know that....

Freethought & Rationalism Archive

The archives are read only.