Shadowy Man

I can certainly understand what you are feeling. I have been there (and continue to be at times) myself.

I think the things that I have quoted are the most pertinent, as far as how I can sympathize, that is.

You say that you might decide you can deal with it on your own. But you know that that hasn't really been working for you, or if it has it has been such slow progress that you're just tired of waiting the years it takes.

You say you don't know what a therapist could say to help break the cycle. Of course you don't know what they'd say. If you could think of what they'd say you'd already know how to break the cycle. What you really need to get from a therapist is to hear from them what you couldn't think of. You want to go and have them say something and you'll say "Wow, I'd never thought of that before!!" Do you suppose that you've thought of everything that might help?

I'd say you should definitely try it out. It won't cost you too much money, and it won't suck up too much time. At the very least it may be useful just to vent to a disinterested party.

Good luck!

pescifish

If you tell this to your therapist/psychiatrist, I believe they have options that are short term, as LadyShea suggests. It sounds like your coverage provides an option that's worth trying. If you decide not to take advantage of it, please know that your IRL friends are not the only ones who care about you. If there is anything I can do, please email or PM me. You've brightened my late night evenings in #infidelchat so many times. I owe you!

christ-on-a-stick

Hi WWSD, I have only one question for you, which I asked myself about a year ago and led me to start going to therapy:

What do you have to lose?

Especially considering that you mentioned it would be inexpensive, I would venture to guess that you have nothing to lose by at least trying it, and everything to gain. I know that it has made an immeasurable difference in my life - I honestly don't know what mental state I would be in now if I hadn't taken that first step.

Also, I would strongly urge you not to give up on the idea entirely if you try it and don't "click" with the first therapist you see - sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right person for you.

Good luck and take care of yourself! (((WWSD)))

Lauri

Solsticin

Anti-depressents (SRI types) vary in side effects greatly. I've tried virtually all off them, and until I tried Wellbutrin I couldn't stand any of them. Wellbutrin (at 300mg per day) is just wonderful. I feel great, and there are no side effects (in fact, I'd say I have increased libido which is something people always worry about). I may just be lucky though.

Every other med I tried either put me to sleep, made me a complete moron, or *cough* effected me in that ...area (you know what I mean :P ).

Good luck though!

I can't really recommend therapy myself, but the thing is, your problem is just that, yours. What helps me most likely won't help you. It's the nature of the game. Some perserverance is required (which can be tough when you are depressed!) but it WILL pay off in the end.

openeyes

I would definately do something if I were you and not try to just handle things on my own. As others have said, please keep your mind open to all the help there is out there, which includes medication. It sounds to me that the problems you may have with side effects (given that there are many different types of drugs that may be helpful) wouldn't compare to the sadness of your current situation. At this point, you need to try something different it sounds to me.

trekbette

One, taking drugs is not bad. I've been on drugs for about 10 years now and they haven't changed "me". They just smooth things out a bit.

Second, if your problems are causing you this much hassle and pain, then they are not stupid and it's okay to go to talk to someone about them.

There is no shame in depression. For most people depression is a chemical imbalance that can be corrected. The drugs help the chemicals. The therapy helps you deal with the problems in a more constructive manner.

Viti

Solsticin, good call, I had forgotten about Wellbutrin. I took it in a effort to quit smoking...didn't work for that but it helped me lose weight and I didn't feel wacked out or wierd or anything. My insurance didn't cover it though because it is used as an aid to quitting smoking...so the Serzone was similar.

WWSD

Alright, I have yet to call and make an appointment. Not because I have decided not to but because I have been so busy in the lab. This weekend I spent a lot of time thinking and I know how to deal with approximatly half of my problem, the other half I am still thinking about. I think I will call and go because, even if I don't want to take meds, I want to see if a therapist can suggest some strategies to help me deal with my various issues that I cannot seem to liquidate on my own. The problem is that these are largly philisophical, meaning of life type things, and I keep running in circles trying to resolve them and bringing myself down in the process. I suppose that if I were religious I could just blame the Jeez and be done with it. <-- kidding, just kidding...

As for meds, I'm not ashamed to take them. I took buspirone for a while to curb my panic attacks, but I stopped after I learned strategies to deal with and stop them before they started.
The only issues that I have with meds is purely a biological issue. And, as a biologist, I have many biological issues.

Yesterday I felt OK, and today I am doing well aside from some baseline irritability. But that I can deal with. I have some strategies and I'm adding some more.

In fact, I joined a hiking club here in town and tonight I have another atheist meetup to attend. So I'm getting out and that helps a lot. I'm even going to take dance lessons next semester! I know, I should be in the lab, but hell, when else can I get free dance lessons for a semester? I think making new friends and expanding my social horizon will help a lot with some of my issues.

I want to say that I really appreciate the support and advice. I've survived this long, I will survive at least another 27 years barring any catastrophic nukular wars or the return of the Jeez.

I'm also trying to make a deal with my friend who has been after me to go see someone. She has anxiety issues and we've discussed her getting some help with that. I am beginning to think that we are all nuts.

Buddrow_Wilson

The sane are no help...they cannot relate