2tadpoles

This is something I've grappled with for a long time and have still not come to any solution. I live in an area where, when you meet someone new, one of the first questions they ask is "what church do you go to?" If you say you don't go to church, they invite you to come to their church. I usually am pretty upfront about my lack of god-belief, because I learned the hard way that some people will reject you for your atheism and I would rather be rejected sooner than later.

Anyway, does anyone have some good ideas for turning down these invitations without appearing smug or offensive? I don't want to make others feel defensive about their own beliefs, nor do I want to invite any proselytizing. It's so hard to know what to say.

I also have a problem with customers (where I work) trying to give me religious tracts or paper invitations to church. I don't want to accept them, because it makes me feel like I'm going against my principles.... one of them being that religion should not be peddled. Yet I work for tips, so it's hard sometimes to refuse and appear rude, knowing that I'll probably lose out in the long run.

muon

Say as little as possible. Start with a simple "no thank you". If they persist, smile and say "I'm not interested." If they persist still, just keep repeating the sentences "no thank you" and "I'm not interested" until they get bored. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Jewel

I usually just say "No, thank you" when people try to give me tracts or other religious garbage. As for the invitations to church, a polite but firm "No, thank you, I don't attend" should suffice. If they push the matter you can be more blunt, but most of the time it shouldn't be an issue.

fando

Seesh, don't these people realize how much they seem like unsolicited advertisers and aggressive pimps/prostitutes?

Where I am, no one usually asks about religion. And if they do, they don't flinch when the answer is, "No. I'm not religious." Unless, of course, you ask Jack Chick who lives in Glendora... there are pockets of fundyism here.

Bree

Perhaps you could mention to your supervisor just how uncomfortable you are when a customer hands you religious materials - on one hand, you don't want to offend them by refusing because they are your customers and you want repeat business, but on the other hand, you're just not cool with it. Your supervisor could put up a nice little sign that says 'no soliciting' or something similar that you could reference when necessary. Many places of business have such signs displayed as a matter of course.

BigBlue2

As others have said, making the refusal short and sweet is probably the best option to take. Since you don't have a problem with stating your lack of god-belief, simply say "I don't believe in god, so there's little point in going to church" when asked "what church do you go to?". If they want to proselytise, say something like "I'm very secure in my atheism, so trying to witness to me will have no effect."

Bree's suggestion is a good one for this problem. However, if your supervisor doesn't want to put up a sign then you'll have to accept the material because refusing would appear rude to the person offering the material. In this case, simply throw the stuff in the bin out of the customers sight.

Don't make these issues any more complex than they are.

Shadowy Man

"I'm Jewish"

Seeker630

Lie to them:

Tell them you're a Jehovah's Witness and ask them if they'd like a copy of the most recent Watchtower pamphlet. People can be so stupid sometimes.

The only time I've ever had anything like that happen is when the JW's come through the neighborhood, and maybe once or twice in the men's room at an intersate highway rest stop. Someone had left a couple of leaflets on the sink counter. I just dumped them in the can.

Jagged

I am with most of the others here: use the "broken record" technique.

"I'm not interested, thanks"
"I'm really not interested, thanks"
"I'm not really interested, thanks"
(ad lib ad finitum...)

I also agree you never owe an explanation for saying no to a stranger. This is a personal matter that is none of their business. They are the ones being rude to ask, certainly not you for saying 'no, thanks.' Even if they act like they don't understand this, at some level they do, and I highly doubt you're going to lose any business over it.

PS May I make a wild guess that you are a woman? In my experience women (including myself) have a much harder time standing up for themselves, even in the simplist of ways. Troubling to say the least.

Darth Dane

I haven't been asked this but if I do, I would say that my church is teh universe, or that I am always in church, by staying in God's nature
Even atheists could metaphorical speaking say that the unvierse is their church. The laws of nature and all that.




DD - Universal Spliff