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Again, I think some posters here don't realize the impact of rape. It's not like it's just sex. It's forced sex that sometimes involves beatings, intimidation and threats, not to mention attempted murder through strangulation and brutality. Rape trauma can leave a woman scarred internally for life, making vaginal sex and reproduction impossible. Physical scars can include severe disfiguration and disability if the rapist is angry enough.

And even if physical effects heal, the mental effects are also detrimental. Many of these women are not stable enough to take care of themselves much less carry a baby to term and provide for it. Some are suicidal, willing to kill themselves to get out of their mental anguish. I met women who would give themselves first and second degree burns from scalding showers. Others who hacked at themselves with sharp instruments or took drugs and alcohol on a regular basis to dull the pain.

So to say that getting raped "is not nearly as bad as getting killed" is also naive. Sometimes living is worse than dying as any victim of severe trauma or accidents can tell you.

Let's remember also that rape victims are not always believed and many are far too ashamed to admit they were assaulted. Pregnancy is a period of great hormonal and physical changes. For an average woman, this is trying enough. For a rape victim, it can be enough to drive them insane.

I am not debating whether abortion is right or wrong. I am saying that eliminating the option of abortion is irresponsible. In the case of rape, it is particularly irresponsible because it sacrifices the woman's well-being and sanity just so other members of society can sleep better at night.

I was one of these suicidal women. So when I see threads like this where people offer opinions that fail to reflect the reality of the situation, it gets to me.

My two cents,
Tangie

infinity

i really don't believe that's your judgement call to make. i rather think the woman in question would be the one who make that determination

why, exactly? i can list off an entire page of reasons why having a child is potentially detrimental and harmful to the mother, the father, the child, and society. all from just one individual
now, can you list any good reason why one individual should be spared? other than a religious excuse, an appeal to emotion, or some naturalist fallacy?

Yahzi

You are giving them far too much credit. They do not sleep better at night knowing that some unborn child will now be born; their goal, which should be obvious from their adamant refusal to promote the one thing gauranteed to reduce the abortion (namely birth control!), is simply to control women, to reserve for men access to the means of production at the lowest possible cost (to men).

Anne Fidel

Me too, Tangie. Great post. I don't think that most men can have any clear idea what rape does to a woman. No woman gets raped and just goes about her life unchanged. It never really leaves you, no matter how many years go by. Rape kills off a part of a woman. It really is a kind of murder. It's certainly not unusual for a woman to have suicidal tendencies afterwards, and that is hardly the best situation to be pregnant in. I really would not want to put odds on whether or not I would have committed suicide if at age 16 I had gotten pregnant from my rape and then been forced to go through an entire pregnancy. First, the man shows you that you don't matter, then society shows you the same thing by forcing you to stay pregnant for the sake of a few microscopic cells.

You guys, we aren't just talking about grown women here. We're also talking about teenagers, who not only are still kids themselves, but are going through the emotional torture of post-rape trauma, often alone. Some people seem to think that a girl or woman can get raped and then be capable of just jumping into the joys of pregnancy and motherhood without a hitch. That's an extremely naive and unfair view. Even if the man goes to jail, the woman has a permanent prison inside her heart and mind that she often never can escape.

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This is very true. It took me a long time to actually have a positive view of sex and intimacy. Further, the condemnation I recieved from counselors that were supposed to be there to help me was extremely detrimental towards my recovery. I was told that if I was pregnant that it was a sin to abort. My life was supposed to be devoted to a child that I had no say in creating and whose father had violated me in such a manner.
I was 19 and a college freshman living in a dorm. I had no family or friends to turn to, but many strangers telling me what I was should do in this circumstance without even thinking about my situation. There was no such burden on my rapist.

I agree completely. As I've said before, the arguments I'm reading do not hold when faced with reality. The woman should have a choice in the matter. It is far too easy to throw stones of judgement from the outside and force others to comply with them. It's another thing all together to actually have to live through it.

My two cents,
Tangie

Anne Fidel

I was 16 and raped at a party I had thrown at my house when my parents were out of town, so I was worried not only about no one believing me (as we were all drunk), but worried that my parents would blame me and be angry. I know now that the second worry was totally unfounded, although I've never told them. I didn't get any counseling and never said a word, but my church's views were certainly anti-abortion and they had a big sermon on it a week afterwards that weighed on my heart after I was two weeks late for my period and thought I was pregnant. Just worrying about being pregnant nearly cost me my sanity, I can only imagine what I would have gone through if I had been. Of course, the guy went about his life as if nothing had happened. I know that you'll totally identify with me saying that this was the darkest period of my life. As for a positive view on sex or intimacy, I can relate to that very well. I went from being a good girl to treating sex very lightly and sleeping with far more guys than I otherwise would have. I think that I was trying to punish myself in some strange way by treating my sexuality like a toy, although I got no pleasure out of it. And all the time thinking that I was going to hell and probably deserved it.

Yes, it is. No one knows how bad it is unless they've been there, and no one should judge it as lightly as "Oops! Sorry you got raped! Now go be a sport and have that baby like a good girl!".

Yahzi

And yet people keep asking me why I think religion is harmful.

The rapist is just a dumb animal. You can either beat him into having a brain, or shoot him. But what do you do with people who assert that they merely represent the pure love of God while they condemn and punish young women for having been raped? Shooting them hardly seems good enough.

Lógos Sokratikós

I'm an agnostic, a freethinker, a liberal.

But I don't believe in abortion. Nor do I believe in the death penalty.

What I don't get is the way Americans are divided on this. Let me see if I get it. I know I'm generalizing a bit, but I do it for the sake of making little stacks in my cupboard for the sake of order, so to speak.

Here I go: If you're a conservative, you're against abortion... because it's murdering. If you're a liberal (again, in the States) you're against the death penalty... because it's murdering. Hmmm.... :huh:

I don't see any logical connection between liberal & pro-abortion. It doesn't make any sense to me. I'm liberal because I'm compassionate. That's why I'm against the death penalty. I don't get youz Americans. You gotta kill somebody and rant about the murderous other team?

The Europeans outlawed death penalty a while ago, and they got less crime than in the States. The country I live in, beautiful, sunny, Costa Rica (commercials allowed here? ) doesn't have any abortion, and we have feminism galore -and not satanized by the Catholic majority. Oh, and no death penalty.

Explanation requested. If there is one, anyway.

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I can't honestly say this. While some hold a pro-life view in order to punish the woman, not all people do. Sometimes it's not about punishment, but about trying to uphold human life. They believe that abortion is murdering a person, thus no amount of poor circumstances will justify it.

Sadly, we don't live in a world where all life is sacred and every pregnancy is a joyful event. It often takes walking in those shoes to actually change minds, if then.

My two cents,
Tangie

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I was raised in a strict Christian household. It didn't help that my home had also been abusive and religion was used to justify the abuse. So anything I endured during the rape, I felt was my fault because I was both a sinner and a fornicator. It took me a long time to get over this.
So I agree with you that religion is harmful in these instances, but it is not always the case.

I've always found this odd. The New Testament is filled with examples of Christ forgiving people, helping and healing people. But I have met so many that use religion to force their morality onto others.

My two cents,
Tangie