keyser_soze

I once had sex with a blind girl, and it was great!









I'm just yanking your chain. Well, not technically, I did sleep with a blind woman in college, but it wasn't all that great.
Bet you didn't SEE that one coming!(And before you guys get pissy, I've had a few friends who were blind, and it really pisses people off when you tiptoe on eggshells. Their blind, not stupid, and most have a sense of humour, so lay off.)

Calzaer

CrisisGirl:

I live not more than three hours from you, just across the SC border. I've discovered, since moving here, that I'm the biggest theological wuss in the world. I've been "saved" by random people on campus at least four times now, just because it was the quickest way to get to a class I was already late for.

Although I do have ONE funny story... one of my friends started the Clemson Skeptics Club (which is mostly defunct at the moment, but the remaining members are thinking of holding a big tent revival). He and I were just sort of hanging out and some Bob Jones University dork accosts us with an "Are you saved??" speech. Well, my buddy says something along the lines of "Prove God exists," and for his efforts gets the standard "Look around you! The earth, the sky, the trees, YOU! It's all proof God exists!"

At which point I pipe up. "You're exactly right!" I cry joyously. "Praise Vishnu!"

The look in fundy-boy's eyes made me think his brain had blown a circuit.

The next 10 minutes were both chaotic and entertaining. My buddy was trying to get any evidence at all, and when a generic fundy argument was put forth, I'd attribute it to Vishnu. I think the end came when my pal asked out fundy friend to explain just why his delusion was better than mine, and without using the Bible to boot (because the Bible had already gotten trashed pretty early on in the confrontation).

Note: "I'll pray for you" means you've won the argument.

**

Doctor X:
I've often tried to convince friends to go with me to Atlanta or Charleston while wearing T-shirts that read: "Sherman was Cool!" (or "Sherman was Right!", I haven't decided yet).

Doctor X

[Hijack Mode ON--Ed.]There is a wonderful urban legend which involves a bunch of kids--version I first heard it was West Point cadets--driving fast through Georgia. They get pulled over by Sheriff Buford T. Justice. As he waddles over he notices that they are clean cut American boys--"and, shit, they're white!"--so he decides to give them a "stiff jawin' to" and let them go with a warning.

He wraps up his sermon with, "And you boys best rememBAH! NObody goes through MA county this fast!"

Then one of the idiots replies, "Sherman did!" [Hijack Mode OFF--Ed.]

I have a similar tale of a "saving." I had to read some ghastly amount of pages of stuff. I went to my favorite café and noticed a friend sitting alone. He was smoking his cigar, was in the last ten pages of his Anne Rice novel and had the next volume with him. "Great," I thought, "he does not want to be disturbed." I asked him if I could sit with him since I needed to get work done and did not want people coming by to socialize. He agreed . . . and I went off to cut my cigar and direct the construction of my Mocha of Doom.

When I return'd the "God Squad" had arrived to "witness." I sat quietly chomping on my cigar trying to absorb myself in dry molecules whilst these persisted. Ron was too polite to tell them to fuck off. I started muttering, "Ron, they're pissing me off." "Ron, I do not want to be rude at your table but. . . ."

Finally, after about fifteen minutes, Ron gave me permission to start.

One girl left crying, one guy started screaming, and the last just sort of whimpered.

I never did get my reading done. . . .

It was an excellent cigar, however. . . .

--J.D.

Rational BAC

Sherman was a ruthless, heartless bastard.

If there is a hell, he is sitting down there alongside Hitler and Stalin.

Doctor X

Fortunately, facts state otherwise.

Of course, one could prefer slavery persist and the country remain divided. . . .

--J.D.

Calzaer

Sherman won the war for the North. Only competant general we had (other than, arguably, Grant).

I suppose Lee, who pioneered the Clemson University Football Team's Offensive Strategy (up the middle, up the middle, up the middle, punt!) was a better man?

Doctor X

[Hijack Mode ON--Ed.]

In a way, Lee is "overestimated" much like Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson. Jackson was not very good . . . until he made a briliant move that routed Gen Hooker.

Lee became overconfident fighting underconfident generals. The most maddening thing about studying the Civil War--other than the smarmy songs--is the realization that the Union should have won much earlier.

However, that is not Lee's fault or detriment. His genius was using his limitations to beat his opponent. He divided his forces to use them as a much larger force, in a way. He used psychological warfare in his own way.

The loser can complaiin they "should have" won the football game--the other team sucked!--but the loser still lost! Thus, the genius of Stonewall--he did the right thing at the right time and turned a probably Confedrate disaster into a stunning victory. Similarly Lee. [Sentence fragment.--Ed.]

All--like Sherman--understood the importance of moral. Sherman sought to convince the South the reality of war, its consequences, and, indeed, the benefit of surrender. He expresses this in a letter to Hood at Atlanta. Despite the characterization of "Sherman's March" as wanton destruction, it was methodical--as far as I know no rapes, no murders.

Anyways, what I find interesting about Lee is he saw the futility of the Napoleonic frontal-assault in Fredricksburg. The hapless Burnside wasted thousands of men marching up a hill defended by four Confederates and a hound dog behind a wall.

So . . . months later . . . Gettysburg where Lee orders his men to march up a hill defended by seven Union soldiers and an alley cat in heat behind a wall. . . .

Perhaps the Civil War is one of the best examples of some who "fought the last war" and those who tried to "fight the next war." For all of his foresight, Sherman, himself, tried a worthless assault at Keneshaw mountain prior to Atlanta. The effect was . . . predictable.

Right, sorry. [Hijack Mode Off--Ed.]

--J.D.

wade-w

Discussions of General Sherman, the March to the Sea, or any other aspect of the American Civil War are completely off topic for this forum. If you wish to discuss these subjects, please start a thread in the appropriate forum.

Shake

Good one!

Well Atlanta's a big enough city that you might not get too much notice there. As for Charleston, there are enough transplanted Yankees, thanks to the AF base as well as AF and Navy retirees, so that you might get some support there. When I was stationed there, most of our friends were not even from SC never mind the Charleston area. Not that Charleston doesn't have it's own fundies. But the College of Charleston has Prof. Herb Silverman, a public atheist (humanist?), who is locally famous for fighting to become a notary public w/o stating belief in God. Google him up, and I believe you'll find some articles about him. OK, one more story about him: in the Saturday edition of The Post and Courier, they always do a profile on a local figure. The week after his profile, the paper was swamped with letters to the editor complaining about the fact that an atheist was profiled (along with one or two supporting him).

www.Charleston.net is the P&C's webpage. I found this when I searched their page for Silverman.

Warcraft3

crisisGirl:

I am truly sorry that you had an experience like the one you described in the OP.

It saddens me to read about Christians doing such foolish things. I hope (and pray) that experience does not happen again.



Russ