BigJim

or perhaps the distinct lack of a chlorine smell in an indoor pool.

Shadowy Man

so... the moral is that having a belief in God is like having the self-inflicted stupidity and willingness to jump into a drained swimming pool?

Aravnah Ornan

Christian apologists like to say that some sort of optical effect caused the sun and moon to appear to stay put in Joshua 10:12-13. Maybe that also explains all of the weirdness regarding the lighting in the story.

Queen of Swords

One night the diver went to the indoor pool at the college he
attended. The lights were all off,

perfect for skinny-dipping.

but as the pool had big skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to practice by.

He could tell he was at the deep end of the pool because when he dropped a penny, it took a little longer to ring musically off the pool's bottom.

The young man climbed up to the highest diving board and as he turned his back to the pool on the edge of the board and
extended his arms out, he saw his shadow on the wall.

He put his hands out and made a bunny, then he made a doggie, and after that a birdie...

The shadow of his body was in the shape of a cross.

Do divers normally stand with their arms extended on either sides of their bodies? Seems like this might make a terrific splash.

Instead of diving, he knelt down and finally asked God to come
into his life.

"Oh God, I saw a weird black monster which did the exact same things I did! Save me, Jesus!"

As the young man stood, a maintenance man walked in and turned the lights on.

And all his friends popped out of their hiding places to shout, "Surprise! Happy birthday!"

The pool had been drained for repairs.

And so has your skull, if you believed one word of the story.

Aravnah Ornan

:notworthy Brilliant, as usual.

I ate Pascal's Wafer

LMAO!!!

Mental note: refrain from eating and drinking while reading anything from QoS.

-Nick

catmar

:notworthy

ITA with Nick - no food or liquids while reading QOS!!

Corgan Sow

Actually, this is the funniest godspam I've ever read in a while.

Shake

They often do stand that way when preparing for a dive. Some even hold it in the early part of a dive, but they always put their hands together over their head before entering the water. The arms-out dive (I know there's a real name for it) is a low degree of difficulty dive, but it's graceful in a simple kind of way.

As a related point, QoS, we're just about a year away from the 2004 Summer Games in Athens. Take some time if you can, to watch some of the diving competitions (mens or womens, doesn't matter, though I imagine you'd like the men better). They just amaze me, 'cause I'm not crazy about even diving off a regular poolside board (which are about 18 inches off the water)!

braces_for_impact

I was told this one while in Christian junior high school. Slightly variated of course.

In my version, the guy was standing on the board, and became so troubled he had to get off of the board. The guy pondered this for some time, but couldn't figure out why the "shadow cross" made him so uneasy. Then the janitor came in, and then he fell to his knees, blah, blah, blah.