LordSnooty

Hi all,

I've just come home from an interesting predicament, and would be interested in hearing what people think of my reaction to a particular event. It's a minor event, but it's gotten to me.

I had a decent day today - a walk in to town to collect some mail, and then a walk in a nearby park. I had stopped in a supermarket on the way home, and decided to get a bus from there.

I was at the bus stop with two old ladies. When the bus arrived, we trudged over and I let the ladies on first. They both got on, but then realised they were on the wrong bus, so they got off.

This is where it gets (slightly) interesting. As the second lady stepped off, I stepped on - at the same moment as the driver began to drive off and shut the doors. The doors crushed me and I was left squashed in the doorway as the bus pulled away. I said 'Excuse ME chum!' to the bus driver, and shoved myself forward into the bus.

Bad enough really, being crushed in the bus doors. The driver must have seen me waiting, he could not possibly have missed me. I was waiting right by the doors. Let there be no mistake - it was his error, and his alone.

The driver didn't apologise, but I was willing to let it go. The bus was full, and I didn't want any fuss. I told him where I wanted to go, and was polite from thereon in. As we drove off, I noticed that the bus doors were now jammed open.

The final - and worst - insult occured when I got off the bus at my stop. As I stepped through the doors he said 'Thanks for breaking the bus doors' in a sarcastic tone of voice.

I was incredulous - I stood on the pavement next to the bus and looked to see if he was joking, but he wasn't. I said 'What?! You shut the doors on me!', to which he shrugged and said 'YOU busted 'em'.

I was absolutely gog-eyed with disbelief by this stage. I did something I'm not particularly proud of, especially since the bus was half full, and several other passengers were nearby having just departed from the bus - but I said 'You fucking incompetent!', which caused the driver to point at me in a sort of 'watch it' kind of fashion.

I told him that I was going to report him, and he shrugged and drove off.

Did I over-react? I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill here, but this has really pissed me off. It's put a dampener on what was otherwise a good day, and caused me to say the F-word in public. I don't like swearing in public, but my excuse was that I was truly shocked to have been spoken to so rudely by this obese article. It wasn't my fault he was negligent.

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest. I can't stand rudeness and nasty behaviour. I should probably have been able to deal with it without swearing, but I'm not really very sociable, so I don't get exposed to the rudeness of others on a regular basis. I need more practice it seems.

Any comments? Am I Mr. Angry, or was I justified in what I said?

Cheers,

Paul

Shake

Well, it's not like it's the best paying job in the world. Maybe he's afraid he'll get in trouble for it. But his attitude seemed to suggest he's not afraid of your reporting him. Your story doesn't sound unreasonable to me.

I'm laughing at the stern pointing you got. What's he going to do to you? He probably sees so many people, he won't recognize you if you take his bus again next week. I wouldn't worry about it too much, so long as you're OK.

JCS

So does that answer your question?

LordSnooty

Not really, you could take that either way. What do you mean?

Cheers,

Paul

Godless Dave

If the situation happened as you describe, than my opinion is no, you did not act too angry. However, a more constructive thing to do would be to report the bus driver's actions (closing the doors on you) and his words (blaming you for his mistake).

My personal preference is never to lose my cool. I prefer the icy comeback. "Thanks for closing the doors on me!" would have been appropriate. But since you didn't indulge in physical violence or a temper tantrum, and since you had a legitimate complaint with the person you directed your anger at (as opposed to the people who yell at the driver because the fares are too high), your actions seem acceptable to me.

LordSnooty

I think you're right. But I tend not to think straight in situations like that. All I see is a person being nasty, and I react before I have time to think about being witty.

All of my life I've let people be unpleasant to me without saying anything, and these days I just refuse to let people get away with it. I don't get violent, but I can see how a reaction like that could be intimidating, and that's not a side of my personality that I'm fond of. I think maybe I should go back to being meek. It might be better to be treated like crap than to start coming across like a thug.

Thanks for the replies folks,

Paul

The Insomniac

Bus drivers are dicks. A few years ago I was riding a Greyhound, from Denver back home to Wilmington, and we had a stop in Chicago. I had three bags on me, that weighed in excess of 120 pounds total, and carried my ticket in my mouth. I put the ticket on his table, and he picked it up and threw it across the floor in front of a whole bunch of people, and yelled at me "Get in the back of the line", I complied. When I got to the front of the line again, he insisted I apologize, I refused, and he told me "enjoy sitting here for 8 hours." I called him a "punk-ass whore", I actually yelled it at him, and he offered me a chance to go outside and fight him, as he had the aid of Chicago bus station securitiy guards (they heard me yell at him) I declined, yelling back at him, "What do you think I'm fucking stupid, I'm not getting locked up here.", I told him I would "have his job", as I walked briskly towards the office, he met me in there and asked me "People can disagree, but why question a man's manhood?", he sounded almost pleasant, and perhaps as I had also wounded his feelings, as he wasn't in front of 50 passengers, I asked him what his name was and he walked away, I asked the office attendant what his name was and he said he didn't know.

End of story: I got to wait in the ghetto ass Chicago bus station for 8 hours. I don't think I have gotten that angry since, and that was 4 years ago. Other passengers told me my face was flushed a few hours later. I'll remember that dickhead until the day I die.

The Insomniac

BTW, you were more than justified -- fuck him.

Reprobate

...so people are generally pleasant to me. Even though I always remain calm and never exhibit erratic or violent behaviour, I'm always treated with respect. Probably a certain amount of this respect stems from fear of being mauled, but I try not to care too much.

I rarely get angry, although I used to get violent in my youth, so I know the effect it has on people.

I haven't ever experience people purposely closing the doors on me, although I experienced an incident in an Amsterdam tram where I was waiting in line and the doors tried to close. I manhandled them back and glared at the driver, who pushed a button to keep the doors open and apologized.

If I were in your shoes, Paul, I would report the driver. If you have the number or license plate of the bus and the time, he'd be easy to look up. I'd say you weren't violently angry, more indignant, an acceptable response in your case.

If you can't report him [no license plate number], try to forget the incident. The world is populated for a large degree with dickheads. If you'd take affront to every one of them, you'd have a task for the rest of your life.

Warwick

So true.

You were justified, but life is easier if you can let it go.