Loren Pechtel

For years there has been a billboard on the south side of town advertizing microsurgical vasectomy reversals, money-back guarantee. Since the facility is more than 1000 miles from here there obviously is a fair interest to justify that kind of expense.

CosmicGame

Thank you for reminding me of something that should have occurred (sp?) to me before. I have used that argument before to radical pro-lifers -- why aren't they out working to make it easier to adopt children who are already in the system? If it were easier to adopt there would be far less incentive to abort.

I suppose my childbearing bias comes from looking back at my own pregnancy and recalling how truly *wonderful* I felt. Never felt physically better in my whole damn life. I also identify as *personally* pro-life and *politically* pro-shoice. That is, abortion isn't an option I would consider for myself except in direst circumstances. But far be it from me to want to enact my opinion with the force of law.

Good thread, by the way. And ID, if you really don't want to be a parent, more power to you. One can influence the course of history in myriad other ways. Every child should be wanted, not forced or accidental.

Jennifer

Josie

I thought I was the only one who did this. I went through years of depression over this issue, and their nosy questions just set me off sometimes, anger now, not tears. Maybe it's me, or sour grapes, but I'm not sure I would want children should it happen anymore. Most of them are dirty, whiny, stupid ugly kids, and they annoy me.

Jewel

I don't know -- why don't you?

If I run across any single, infidel, determined to be childfree women I'll send them your way.

Jewel

Thanks, ImGod, I've suspected as much. I mean, when someone who looks like they haven't had a decent nights sleep in 2 years and has no disposable time or income tells me -- "but really, it's just so great" -- I can't help but think [Dr.Evil]riiiiiight[/Dr.Evil] who's trying to convince who?

I'll do that -- thanks! Many of my friends also have kids and you're right -- it is difficult. Their priorities change (as well they should) and it can be hard to plan around kids and sitters and what not.

Best of luck with finding a doctor for a tubal if your husband really doesn't want a vasectomy. I'm sure it can be done, you just have to be firm with them.

boingo82

My husband and I definitely want kids. I am the oldest of 6 children (raised atheist, so my parents were allotted more than 2) and have been around children my entire life. My husband is great with kids, all of his friends kids like him better than they like their own parents. One friend's daughter actually said "Mac!" as one of her first words.

That being said, whether you want kids or not is nobody's business but your own. It makes me think back to a stand-up I saw on Comedy Central, who was commenting on the social pressure to get married and have kids..
"The whole time you're dating the girl, of course, everyone just keeps asking, 'When you gonna get married? When you getting married?? Hey, when are you going to get married???'.
So, you date a few years, get married, and the questions start, "When you having kids?? When are we gonna see some kids?? How soon are you having kids???'
I just say 'I don't know, YOU are married, YOU have kids, so, when you gonna die? When are you gonna DIE? Because that's what comes next, isn't it? When are you gonna DIE??"

I think part of the religious connection is that Mormons are told that God wants them to go forth and populate the earth. I have one LDS friend who got her tubes tied whilst delivering her second baby, and has gotten nothing but criticism. The Mormons are always telling her that now she can't bear the children that God wanted her to bear....she has started asking them, "Don't you think God would rather I do a good job raising 2 boys than be a horrible parent of 6?"

Julie

ID your not having kids isnt the only reason they dont want to do the tubal. its cause us women dont know whats good for us. I'm 26 I have 2 kids already I DO NOT want any more and I gave up trying to find a doctor to give me a tubal. I kept hearing "but your so young, you might change your mind in 10 years" ahhh no, I spent 18 months of my life pukeing and being in so much pain I could hardly walk, A combined totaly of 45 hours of labour and nearly 900 stiches (ya thats fun...) and I've been running on 4 hours sleep a night tops for 4 years. Yes being a Mom has it rewards (*gasp* I'm even a Stay at home one) But you could not pay me enough to do it again!

I applaud women who stand up and proudly say No Im not having kids!

To the people that keep asking..tell them to shove it, thats what I do when people ask me when were having our next.

Darwin26

....yeah me loves my vasectomy... *good as gold*

But.... i had mine to illiviate the mess "birthcontrol" pills caused the now long gone X...later to realize she was just bi-polar, alcoholic etc...

i went under the knife ... on the way home it must have hemoraged. cause i was in EXCRUCIATING PAIN ... after a couple of hours of thinking it'd go away (graphics deleted)...back to the Doc's ... and things were re Fixed. I can't believe he still charged me but anyway... It was and is the best thing since sliced bread...takes all the worry out of being close... If i had to do it over again YES.

... a sensitive issue ... i did have some fun with the "where's my GrandKids" thing on my 2 girls ( 30 and 33) ... i told them in early '99 if they concieved in March of '99 that they could be candidates for the first born of Y2000K .... the fact neither one was married ... just made them screeeeeem all the more... But this is how you even out the score... get even with your kids. Make 'um squeeeel!

Since Jennifer got married i gained 2 really sweet wonderful grand kids... VeryNice but not the focal point of my life and relationship to them.

It's always interesting to see those wicked in-laws and parents who are only concerned with their own NEEDS and Wants. They don't give a rodents rectum for your happiness... just their own selfish power an popularity.

i wanted kids... i got my kids and everyday with them growing up was a joy... from before the get go i wanted them and walking the floor with them, changing them, driving them whatever they are/were the center of my life... for near forever... well even now i'd rate them as beallendalls ... i have super kids... i could never ask any more from life...

i wish the world was not wobbbling as it is ...thought my kids would never see these days of Hubris and arrogance.

They are non- believers . One is in the heirarchy of the National Science Foundation, and One an artist, stepmom, Banker.

see if hubby won't reconsider the Vasectomy ... or suggest a selfectomy

echidna

It's unnecessary to use the words "sliced" and "vasectomy" in the same post.

brighid

Here here! Most of my family is pretty religious (either Catholic or Southern Baptist) and thankfully most of my husbands family is either agnostic or atheist

Now, my sister has FIVE children and she will just be turning 28 (ranging from age 10 to 1). I love those children, but there can be rather poorly behaved and do things (like tell their mother to fuck off) that make it very difficult to be around them for extended periods of time. However, my SB part of the family thinks she is just the best thing since sliced bread and she takes SUCH good care of those children! I, on the other hand, am the heathen bitch. I have one who is 9 and I wasn't going to have another (considering I was a single parent) until I was ready (if that ever happened, but I am ready now.) I simply haven't reproduced enough for some of them, although they dare not say a word to my face about it. Uggggh .... Thankfully we don't see them much.

I should consider myself lucky because we really haven't gotten any pressure from our families beside the occassional comment and those are usually good natured, so I guess I can't complain given what others have to put up with.

Don't you wish people would just stay out of your business?

Brighid