Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Demosthenes · 07-08-2003, 08:21 PM

Earlier today, a friend and I decided to do something because I didn't really want to go back home just yet. So we settled on going bowling but first Marie(my friend) wanted to stop on the way to the alley and say hi to a friend of hers.

So I follow Marie all the way to the place which's located in a shoddy neighborhood in Garner, south of Raleigh. We then go inside and the other friend's in the living room busy on the phone. The first thing that caught my eye was the number of religious books scattered around the room. We say hi and then she gets off the phone. I immediately notice from her disposition that I was most definitely not welcome at her place. I'm thinking to myself, "No problem, I'm the stranger here afterall" It wasn't like we were going to stay for long.

My friend say hello and how are you? She says fine and then proceeds to demand why Marie brought me here. "Why did you bring him here?"
"I don't like strangers in my house", I don't want you bringing strangers here, this is my house, my rules"

It was so awkward, even my friend was taken aback by the reaction.

I completely understand if I'm in the wrong for entering her house, but the person's reaction was way off the target and not to mention in very poor etiquette.

Talk about Christian hospitality. I'm a bit rattled by the whole thing because it's the first time in my entire life that I've received that kind of welcome in somebody's house. Needless to say I most definitely won't be coming back to her place.

Doctor X · 07-09-2003, 12:15 AM

Maybe if you did not sacrifice her cat?

--J.D.

Godless Dave · 07-09-2003, 04:41 AM

That's bizarre. You didn't commit any breach of etiquette, Demo. Your friend did, in not checking with her friend first before bringing you inside, but unless her friend is a drug dealer or in the witness protection program I don't see what the big deal was, and she was out of line being hostile to you.

Jewel · 07-09-2003, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Godless Dave
... but unless her friend is a drug dealer or in the witness protection program I don't see what the big deal was, and she was out of line being hostile to you.

That's exactly what I was thinking even before I got to the part about the rude behavior. I couldn't imagine being so rude to someone like that. Even if I was pissed that a friend of mine brought someone I didn't know into my house I wouldn't act like that. I would, at some later point, have a talk with my friend that they should call me before bringing strangers into my house. But it has never been a problem -- I don't have many friends, but I trust the judgement of the ones I do have.

tensorproduct · 07-09-2003, 05:26 AM

Had you ever met this other freind before. Even a brief encounter might have left a bad impression.
(Not that I mean to say people don't like you straight off the bat

)

Jobar · 07-09-2003, 06:54 AM

Maybe Marie had mentioned to these people that you are an atheist? I've never gotten such a crude and rude response before, but I have been to places with my family where I was definitely persona non gratia, because my unbelief is known.

Mageth · 07-09-2003, 08:32 AM

Sounds like the friend might have a psychological problem. Don't let it bother you.

ImGod · 07-09-2003, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jobar
Maybe Marie had mentioned to these people that you are an atheist? I've never gotten such a crude and rude response before, but I have been to places with my family where I was definitely persona non gratia, because my unbelief is known.

Did she hold a cross up and try to douse you with holy water?

SimplyAtheistic · 07-09-2003, 12:27 PM

Well, to christians we ARE the enemy, so maybe she felt threatened you had managed to cross the border, maybe she thought you were about burst into flames because of your evil ways, maybe...
Jake

dimpledop · 07-09-2003, 04:12 PM

The homeowner was disgustingly rude.

True, Marie should have asked permission to bring you there, and if the homeowner said "...my house, my rules" then maybe it was something that had been discussed before. As a matter of fact, I suggest you ask Marie if her friend (obviously not *your* friend) had ever discussed this before with her. After getting treated like dirt, you might like to know.

Even if they had discussed it before, this person's attitude was terrible. She obviously didn't care about how her tone made you feel.

And no, you didn't do anything wrong. You trusted Marie's judgement, and since she brought you into the house, it was natural to think that Marie knew her friend well enough to know that it would be okay.

I hope somebody apologizes to you sometime soon. But regardless, don't sweat it. Marie wasn't deliberately trying to put you in an awkward position, and her friend isn't worth a damn. As you say, you'll never step foot in her house again, so to her you can say see ya.

07-08-2003, 08:21 PM	#1
Demosthenes Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: a speck of dirt Posts: 2,510	*Shudder* Earlier today, a friend and I decided to do something because I didn't really want to go back home just yet. So we settled on going bowling but first Marie(my friend) wanted to stop on the way to the alley and say hi to a friend of hers. So I follow Marie all the way to the place which's located in a shoddy neighborhood in Garner, south of Raleigh. We then go inside and the other friend's in the living room busy on the phone. The first thing that caught my eye was the number of religious books scattered around the room. We say hi and then she gets off the phone. I immediately notice from her disposition that I was most definitely not welcome at her place. I'm thinking to myself, "No problem, I'm the stranger here afterall" It wasn't like we were going to stay for long. My friend say hello and how are you? She says fine and then proceeds to demand why Marie brought me here. "Why did you bring him here?" "I don't like strangers in my house", I don't want you bringing strangers here, this is my house, my rules" It was so awkward, even my friend was taken aback by the reaction. I completely understand if I'm in the wrong for entering her house, but the person's reaction was way off the target and not to mention in very poor etiquette. Talk about Christian hospitality. I'm a bit rattled by the whole thing because it's the first time in my entire life that I've received that kind of welcome in somebody's house. Needless to say I most definitely won't be coming back to her place.

07-09-2003, 05:26 AM	#5
tensorproduct Veteran Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 1,330	Had you ever met this other freind before. Even a brief encounter might have left a bad impression. (Not that I mean to say people don't like you straight off the bat)

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07-09-2003, 12:15 AM	#2
Doctor X Banned Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: USA Posts: 3,794	Maybe if you did not sacrifice her cat? --J.D.

07-09-2003, 04:41 AM	#3
Godless Dave Contributor Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: With 10,000 lakes who needs a coast? Posts: 10,762	That's bizarre. You didn't commit any breach of etiquette, Demo. Your friend did, in not checking with her friend first before bringing you inside, but unless her friend is a drug dealer or in the witness protection program I don't see what the big deal was, and she was out of line being hostile to you.

07-09-2003, 06:54 AM	#6
Jobar Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: secularcafe.org Posts: 9,525	Maybe Marie had mentioned to these people that you are an atheist? I've never gotten such a crude and rude response before, but I have been to places with my family where I was definitely persona non gratia, because my unbelief is known.

07-09-2003, 08:32 AM	#7
Mageth Contributor Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Deep in the heart of mother-lovin' Texas Posts: 29,689	Sounds like the friend might have a psychological problem. Don't let it bother you.

07-09-2003, 12:27 PM	#9
SimplyAtheistic Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Omaha, Nebraska Posts: 503	Well, to christians we ARE the enemy, so maybe she felt threatened you had managed to cross the border, maybe she thought you were about burst into flames because of your evil ways, maybe... Jake

07-09-2003, 04:12 PM	#10
dimpledop Regular Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Toronto, ON CANADA Posts: 250	The homeowner was disgustingly rude. True, Marie should have asked permission to bring you there, and if the homeowner said "...my house, my rules" then maybe it was something that had been discussed before. As a matter of fact, I suggest you ask Marie if her friend (obviously not your friend) had ever discussed this before with her. After getting treated like dirt, you might like to know. Even if they had discussed it before, this person's attitude was terrible. She obviously didn't care about how her tone made you feel. And no, you didn't do anything wrong. You trusted Marie's judgement, and since she brought you into the house, it was natural to think that Marie knew her friend well enough to know that it would be okay. I hope somebody apologizes to you sometime soon. But regardless, don't sweat it. Marie wasn't deliberately trying to put you in an awkward position, and her friend isn't worth a damn. As you say, you'll never step foot in her house again, so to her you can say see ya.

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