garrisonjj

For 40 years during and after confession I sincerely asked god to make me repentent,keep me free from temptation, make me "pure of heart" and have the holy spirit enlighten my mind.
None of these prayers, ever, not ever were answered.I finally learned each confession was a lie and I was trying to become someone I could never be.
I finally said "fuck it all" if I were so sincere and received no answers there must not be any fuckin gods who hear me.
Perhaps this was a self fulfilling prophecy. What do you think?
Now I regard religion as totally irrelevant and blasphemy makes me now feel so good.
After a year of being a born again atheist, I feel the same as if I prayed and following the church's rules exactly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,nothing! Please share your impressions. Thanks (Will the underlying guilt ever go away?) Especially now with all this xmas shit.

fatpie42

Prayer doesn't work if you expect it to have magic effects. In my personal experience was that prayer was a lot more therapeutic for me when I dispensed with the nonsense of putting ones hands together and closing one's eyes tightly, and instead simply sat in quiet contemplation of what things were troubling me. (BTW I'm not that impressed with meditation either.)

djrafikie

It's understandable that you feel a large degree of antipathy toward christianity. Go with it, you will settle down and naturally find a place where you are comfortable. Also, Xmas is a great time to see family members and step up to the plate, spread a little love! Help out for one night at a soup kitchen, collect for charity for a day..
Note how you have ACTUALLY made the world a better place, as opposed to staring at the tips of your fingers whilst you ask the invisible man to do it for you.
Notice how you are now a fully fledged human being.. feel good about it. Forget all the other shit, at the end of the day it's really fairly irrelevant. EVEN If there IS a god and he IS judging you, what the fuck does it matter? Live a good life and believe as you see fit, whats the problem with that?
Lots of people who believe fervently are total assholes to their fellow men, you think they are gonna be in ahead of you in the pearly gate lineup if you find out you made a mistake and there is such a thing as heaven? Course not!

Have a great crimbo, stop ruining it for yourself

angela2

First of all, you should know that anything you may feel guilty over has already been forgiven. God wants you to get on with a good life, with life in abundance. Ignore anyone who tells you otherwise. God will not abandon you, no matter what, and he/she is just as available to you as to any Christian.

I don't know what denomination or ministry you belonged to, but it sounds as if you were taught to have expectations that were far beyond those of mainstream Christians. The purpose of prayer is to commune with God. (I'd say talk to God, but I know people would be all over me.) In time, as that relationship grows, we begin to live in Christ, to use Paul's phrase. To me, that means that we naturally begin to think and feel more in line with God.

Kassiana

There's nothing wrong with celebrating Christmas. My atheist Unitarian Universalist family celebrated it every year growing up. I still celebrate it. You can always strip a lot of the ridiculous religious imagery away, or enjoy it on a "this is a nice story about celebrating the birth of a child" level.

djrafikie

Good, no point in reading the bible then.

How very disturbing. I tend to find listening to people is generally a good idea, otherwise you learn NOTHING.

Nipping round for tea later is he?




I say it's a waste of bloody time. Get off of your arse and go achieve something good.

Yes, the longer you keep repeating the same phrases to yourself the more brainwashed you become.

You know, the reason I have jumped on you like this is because the poor guy has said he feels GUILTY. That means unhappy. Why do you feel the need to jump in there are exacerbate that feeling? I understand the witnessing thing, but from my point of view it just looks manipulative and cruel. In fact, given that part of the reason he feels bad is because it's coming up the Xmas (which is always an emotionally loaded and stressful time anyway) it is even more insensitive.

Is this is deliberate attempt to worsen his guilt feelings whilst at the same time offering a way out of said guilt feelings? Or is that degree of thought not present, and you are simply incapable of offering some support unless your religion profits by it?

I apologise if this seems overtly agressive, but I really do want to know!
I've seen other christians do similar things and I really don't understand what drives this kind of behaviour.

angela2

I'm sorry but I don't understand why you would take offense at what I said.

djrafikie

Read to O/P, then read what you said, then think about how that would emotionally impact on someone feeling the things the OP is feeling, then get back to me.

If you can't see why I think it was a tactless and hurtful response, then what can I say... *shrug*

EthnAlln

You stuck with it a couple of decades longer than I did, so my experience may not help. What I did notice after I was no longer a Catholic was that some irrational childhood fears came back. (Again, I was in my early 20s at the time.) It was strange. During adolescence, I had learned in some respects to look at the world rationally, and I knew there were no supernatural forces about. But mouthing the words at mass, while not expecting any prayers to be answered had given me a curious kind of double-think. I didn't believe in anything supernatural, deep down. That was only common sense. But being a Catholic had given me a kind of "backstop" faith that if there were any spooks out there, I was on their good side. When I abandoned the faith, it took some years for my common sense and confidence to rebuild itself. (I think it was about two years, but I'm not sure. That period of my life has grown hazy during the decades of marriage and raising children.)

ETA: I have hated Christmas for some 30 years now. It's a liberating feeling, really.

angela2

The OP said he was feeling guilty. Which to me means that that the ways in which he was mislead about Christianity are still troubling. I was attempting to show him that he was mislead. Consequently there is no legitimate Christian reason for him to feel guilty.

It's just my guess, but I think God is much less concerned about him being an atheist than he might be.