Freethought & Rationalism Archive

stray bullet · 07-09-2006, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seebs

It runs the range. I mean, you get het porn anywhere from a couple of 19-year-olds playing around in a bed to violent S&M... Same thing with gay porn, as I understand it, although I think the averages are a bit different. Fewer consumers of gay porn are terrified that someone will think they're a deviant.

I think the sexual response tests use pretty much plain naked bodies, rather than porn, because that's all the low-level pattern recognition twigs to.

Of course, this may be why they get results different from the cognitive experience.

My sexuality is a bit weird in the sense that I probably find homosexuality more physically appealing, but women more romantically/initimately appealing.

I don't think putting sexuality into categories suits anyone. It's just confusing to those outside the box.

seebs · 07-09-2006, 11:07 PM

I'm sort of the other way; I'm totally straight biologically, but I don't find most girls at all interesting romantically. For a long time, I was pretty sure I must be bi or something because I found so few women attractive. Now I just think I'm excessively picky.

Lel · 07-09-2006, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stray bullet

He's not getting the help and realistic advice he needs.

I went through the same confusing feelings he's having... and no one is talking to him honestly.

They can't get it through their heads this is normal and that bisexuality in males is true (ugh, Rheo!).

It's puberty. He likes guys and that's okay... but he needs to look into girls.

You're helping quite well. Don't discount that.

Lel · 07-09-2006, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stray bullet

I'd probably be removed from staff if i said on OBOB I was bisexual and that it's okay to be bi too.

You've said it here and that's functionally equivalent. :Cheeky:

Quote:

I can identify with CeeBee because I had to go through the same feelings and I remember what it is like. I remember what it is like to be scared of being found out. I remember thinking how embarrassed I'd be if I died and went to Heaven and everyone found out I liked guys. I remember making fun of homosexuality so people wouldn't suspect me.

I remember how totally dark and worthless I thought I was... and none of them seem to get it. They don't know what this kid is going through- and i do. I can't tell him it's going to be okay, because I've been there.

I have to sit by why these chuckle-heads fill his mind with irrational garbage they are clueless about.

What in that thread is inaccurate? (I've heard that programs to change sexual orientation don't have high success rates, but what else should be addressed?)

seebs · 07-09-2006, 11:32 PM

Deamiter says:

I can easily understand how a moderator who does not study logic could be lead to believe (in a report or in mod discussions of flaming ad homs) that ad homs are always a violation of the rules and thus accusation of their use would also be a violation of the rules.

I am no final authority -- I can not overturn previous rulings, nor can I comment on another mod's actions. However, I agree strongly with flesh99 and I'ddie4him that claiming another member used an ad hom is not, by itself, a rule violation.

That is a little snarkier than I expected.

stray bullet · 07-09-2006, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lel

You've said it here and that's functionally equivalent. :Cheeky:

Perhaps. I know staff have spread rumors about me regarding this. Like it is a big freakin' deal I like guys. I can say I'm impressed by the maturity of the majority of staff.

Quote:

What in that thread is inaccurate? (I've heard that programs to change sexual orientation don't have high success rates, but what else should be addressed?)

Well, most notable Rheo's "Guy's can't be bi" post. The posts about sexual change encourage the 'phase' myth. The posts about how you need to 'pray away the gay' aren't helpful, either..

It is as though they were trying to put blame on him for being gay/bi.

That's a horrible, horrible feeling.

Lel · 07-09-2006, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stray bullet

They can't understand a PoV different than theirs and refuse to discuss that a sexuality that is non-heterosexual is neither a choice, nor non-alterable.

I'm not a deviant, but they make me feel like I am one. It is as though I haven't prayed hard enough.

Being heterosexual, bisexual or gay is 100% natural. It is what you do with that that counts. Perhaps I'll have the courage in the coming days, depending on the responses CeeBee gets, to let them know he's not a deviant.. but a healthy, normal male.

I think he needs to hear that no matter what. I'd say it, but there probably wouldn't be much response to it being said by a heterosexual female.

stray bullet · 07-09-2006, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lel

I think he needs to hear that no matter what. I'd say it, but there probably wouldn't be much response to it being said by a heterosexual female.

I think I summarized it in this post:

Quote:

CeeBee, no matter what your sexuality is, you shouldn't feel ashamed of it.

Just try to make the best of it with God. Letting people confuse you and question what you feel isn't going to help.

Being bisexual or gay isn't what counts. It doesn't make you a bad person. You are not a deviant.. It doesn't mean you don't pray enough. It just means you are a little different. Don't let ANYONE tell you it affects your faith. Don't let any male convince you you are inferior. Don't let any female convince you it makes you a bad boyfriend.

You are who you are. Unite your faults with God as struggles for holiness... not as faults for condemnation and worthlessness.

Lel · 07-09-2006, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stray bullet

Perhaps. I know staff have spread rumors about me regarding this. Like it is a big freakin' deal I like guys. I can say I'm impressed by the maturity of the majority of staff.

As long as you fall within staff guidelines, what does it matter? We all have temptations to sin. :huh:

Quote:

Well, most notable Rheo's "Guy's can't be bi" post.

It would actually be interesting to hear how that idea came about. Again, I've heard of studies where men do seem to react and portray themselves as more strongly hetero- or homosexual than do women, but not that guys cannot be bisexual at all.

Quote:

The posts about sexual change encourage the 'phase' myth.

How is it mythical? That is what needs to be explained. Do all teenagers know what their sexual orientation is?

Quote:

The posts about how you need to 'pray away the gay' aren't helpful, either..

It is as though they were trying to put blame on him for being gay/bi.

That's a horrible, horrible feeling.

When put like that, it is a bad idea. Looking from the other side for a moment, are they trying to blame him for being gay/bi, or are they trying to offer advice from a standpoint of being unable to empathize from not having been in a similar situation?

stray bullet · 07-09-2006, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lel

I think he needs to hear that no matter what. I'd say it, but there probably wouldn't be much response to it being said by a heterosexual female.

He remembers/knows I'm bi, so that should carry weight. Female input doesn't hurt. I know a lot of women, particuarly Christian/Catholic women, consider me inferior and promiscious. He may have gotten that vibe by now, so encouragement from the opposite sex helps too

07-09-2006, 11:32 PM	#45
seebs Contributor Join Date: May 2002 Location: Saint Paul, MN Posts: 24,524	Deamiter says: I can easily understand how a moderator who does not study logic could be lead to believe (in a report or in mod discussions of flaming ad homs) that ad homs are always a violation of the rules and thus accusation of their use would also be a violation of the rules. I am no final authority -- I can not overturn previous rulings, nor can I comment on another mod's actions. However, I agree strongly with flesh99 and I'ddie4him that claiming another member used an ad hom is not, by itself, a rule violation. That is a little snarkier than I expected.

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07-09-2006, 11:07 PM	#42
seebs Contributor Join Date: May 2002 Location: Saint Paul, MN Posts: 24,524	I'm sort of the other way; I'm totally straight biologically, but I don't find most girls at all interesting romantically. For a long time, I was pretty sure I must be bi or something because I found so few women attractive. Now I just think I'm excessively picky.

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