JoeWallack

Dedicated to all the innocent Jews murdered by evil and wicked Christians



It's World War II and the Nazi's have just occupied Rome. The Pope has
agreed to hide a small group of Jews, led by Rabbi Herzog, within the
Vatican, but has forbidden them from observing any Jewish rituals while
they are inside the Vatican walls.

Dah da dah dah, daah da dah da daaah, dah da dah dah dah daah,
ya da da daah, ya da ya da dah yah! ya da dah, ya! Da dah ya da daay
(drum roll).

The Jews have been placed inside a small sanctuary in the western wing of
the Vatican. Father Schvitz is just walking into the sanctuary. Immediately,
a table in the middle of the room with the Torah attached to it, swivels
one hundred and eighty degrees to show a checkerboard now on top with
the Torah now hidden underneath the table. At the same time the window
covering, with the ten commandments drawn on it, is raised revealing the
stained glass window underneath of the nativity scene. Also, the Jews start
removing their coats and hats from a large wooden statue of Jesus on the
cross which they had been using as a coat and hat rack.

Father Schvitz : (looks around suspiciously) Rabbi Herzog, what is going
on here? I heard noises that sounded like chanting.

Rabbi Herzog : (looks up casually from chair next to checkerboard) Why
nothing Schvitz. We're just having a friendly game of
checkers.

Father Schvitz: (walks over to Rabbi Herzog still looking around
suspiciously and notices two Jews in the far corner of the
sanctuary dressed in prayer shawls and tefillin davening)
What are those men doing Rabbi Herzog?

Rabbi Herzog : (glances at the men) Nothing much Schvitz. You see we
all decided that when we get out of here we're all going on
a hunting trip. So they're just trying out their camouflage
outfits and practicing their bird calls.

Father Schvitz: Rabbi Herzog, I know what tefillin are. Cardinal Kink gave
me strict orders not to allow any observance of Jewish
ritual in this sanctuary.

LeBeauberg : (waves frying pan towards Father Schvitz) Oh Schvitzie,
Schvitzie, look what I have. Fresh cheese blintzes and
potato pancakes.

Father Schvitz: (excitedly) Cheese blintzes and potato pancakes? (Walks
gingerly towards LeBeauberg) I see nothing!

Later that night the Jews are trying to figure out how to have a formal
religious service within the Vatican as Yom Kippur starts the following
night.

Rabbi Herzog: One thing's for sure. It's impossible to have any type of
extended service inside the Vatican and we don't dare go
outside with the Nazi's all around. We have to think of a
way to get all the Priests to leave the Vatican.

Carterstein : (with head in hand propped up by his elbow) Huh. The only
way all the Priests would leave is if Jesus Christ himself
showed up.

Rabbi Herzog: What did you just say?

Carterstein : Oh nothing. I just said, the only way all the Priests would
actually leave the Vatican is if Jesus Christ himself showed
up.

Rabbi Herzog: (snaps fingers) That's it. Kvetch, do you think you could
get that old printing press in the basement to work?

Kvetch : (face lights up) Yah, I think I could. You know I haven't
been able to sleep at night so every morning I bring the
newspapers inside the Vatican before anyone else is awake.
The paper is delivered every morning at exactly four A.M.

Rabbi Herzog: Okay, here's the plan (everyone huddles around Rabbi
Herzog).

The next morning Cardinal Kink walks hurriedly into the sanctuary.

Cardinal Kink: Herzog! Herzog!

Rabbi Herzog: Yes Cardinal Kink?

Cardinal Kink: Herzog, what are all these reports I'm getting that some
of your Jews saw Jesus Christ this morning?

Rabbi Herzog: It's true Cardinal. I saw him myself. You were all in
morning Mass and he said he didn't want to interrupt you.

Cardinal Kink: (sarcastically) Oh really Herzog? And what did Jesus
look like?

Rabbi Herzog: Well considering that he's close to two thousand years
old, he looked very well.

Cardinal Kinkstill sarcastic) You're saying that he looked just like he
looks in all the pictures that we have here in the Vatican?

Rabbi Herzog: Not exactly Cardinal. He has a little bit of gray around
his temples.

Cardinal Kink: Herzog, hmmmph! (shakes his fist). Do you expect me
to believe anything that you say?

Rabbi Herzog: No Cardinal, I don't. But maybe you'll believe this.
(Hands Cardinal Kink the morning newspaper which reads

THE HOLY GHOST TOWN - FRIDAY - OCTOBER 14, 1941
TOP STORY - MUSSOLINI BRIEFS ITALIANS
Our beloved leader and military genius, Mussolini, revealed to his
countrymen yesterday, a life long preference for briefs over boxer
shorts. Said Mussolini, "Even though boxer shorts are more comfortable,
briefs are much more fashionable and after all, what is more important
than fashion, eh?". Textile experts expect the sale of briefs to surge once
the war is won. Since the war started, six years ago, there have been no
new sales of either briefs or boxer shorts in Italy as all necessary
materials have been needed for the war effort.
HITLER IN ROME FOR CONFESSION
Adolf Hitler, mastermind of the invincible third reich, in Rome
yesterday to review the Nazi takeover of the city, confessed that he
has been a life long fan of the New York Yankees. Said Hitler, "I grew
up cheering for Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig. It's a shame that after I
kill all the Jews, then all the non-aryans, then all the non-Germans, then
all the non-Nazis, and then all Nazis over five feet, six inches tall, that I
will have to kill all the Yankees too." Added Hitler, "Oh, except for the
Italians of course. I would never kill any Italians."
JESUS CHRIST RETURNS
Reliable sources reported that Jesus Christ has returned and been
seen by numerous eyewitnesses early this morning. Details on back page.

Cardinal Kink crinkles the newspaper excitedly and stares straight up in
the air as if in a trance.

Cardinal Kink: So it's all true! You know, it had been so long, I was
starting to wonder myself.

Rabbi Herzog: What's that Cardinal?

Cardinal Kink: Nothing. (Folds newspaper under arm). Forget I said
that. Herzog, you said you talked to Jesus. Where is he?

Rabbi Herzog: Well Cardinal, he said that he wanted to go see the Leaning
Tower of Pisa before he gets down to business. He's never
seen it before you know. But he told me to tell you that he
wants all the Priests in the Vatican to walk enmasse to the
Central Square in Rome and meet him there at exactly six
P.M. this evening. If I was you I'd start getting organized.
That Square is miles away from here.

Cardinal Kink: You're right Herzog. I need to run and tell his holiness that
we need to start preparing immediately. But before I go,
now that Jesus Christ has returned, I want to hear you
admit that all Catholic Dogma is really true.

Rabbi Herzog: Well, Cardinal, let me just say that Jesus Christ coming back now makes just as much sense to me as the virgin birth and the holy trinity.

Cardinal Kink: (As he begins to run away). That's better. (Turns around but continues running backwards) Say Herzog, do you have any idea why the phones are not working?

Rabbi Herzog: That I don't know Cardinal. (Cups hand to mouth because
of the distance to Cardinal Kink) Maybe Jesus ran into a
phone line on the way down.

Cardinal KinkRunning away) Herzog! Hmmmph (shakes fist in air).

Kol Nidre Service
Vatican, Rome
Friday, October 14, 1941
Rabbi David Herzog's sermon:

"The righteous man perishes,
And no one considers;
Pious men are taken away,
And no one gives thought
That because of evil
The righteous was taken away,
Yet he shall come to peace,
They shall have rest on their couches
Who walked straightforward."



"Murdering innocent Jews has long been a national Pastortime for Christianity. If you add up the numbers you'll find that more Jews of blessed memory died as a result of being murdered by Christians than from natural causes." - Joseph

Sven

Of course the OT is accepted by all Jews (well, parts of it; their holy books does not correspond 1-to-1 with the OT). This does not mean at all that they all (or even most of them) accept it as history. Ever heard about allegories?

This is laughable. Typical example of the Christian persecution complex. Is no one allowed to tell you that you are flat out wrong? Hint: saying that you are wrong does not mean that you are lying.

Amaleq13

Neither of those two facts requires that the events described be accepted as historical.

Holding a position as moderator has nothing whatsoever to do with the observation that you have not supported your assertion of history with any credible argument or evidence.

No power was exerted, therefore, no abuse has taken place.

FatherMithras

Sorry, but this is bullshit. It's true they believe these things occured, but archaeology and history have shown the events described did not actually occur. "documenting" things hundreds of years "after the fact" (OT) and decades after the face (NT) tend to cause humongous bullshit to creep into the text. For example, we know the Jews were never slaves in Egypt. Way to not know history.

RED DAVE

From Iaca:
Why don't you take this antisemitism to stormfront where it belongs?

RED DAVE

laca

You can also take Your Zionism to storm front where it belongs.
For you everything what does not please your ears is anti-Semitism.
What about your anti – Iraqinism, anti – Arabism, anti – Frenchism etc and other your isms.

Toto

I think this thread has reached the end of its usefulness.