Joan of Bark

And Christians and televangelists don't work on Saturday? Whatever sabbath day is chosen, Christians work on it. And the penalty for such lawlessness is death.

jeffevnz

Actually I plan to write a book called "101 Things You Probably Don't Know About the Bible", basically listing WTF moments like these, and trying to make them as funny or shocking as possible. I'll get around to it some day.

My personal favorites are the clearly polytheistic passages in Genesis, that you listed in the OP. I also like the part in Leviticus where it says men should be stoned to death for shaving their beards or working on the Sabbath. Then there's the people that David couldn't defeat even with God's help, because they had iron chariots...

Infideliation

I'd definately buy this book.

pob14

Balaam and the ass.

I thought I was fairly well-read in the Bible, at least for somebody who really doesn't give a damn. The first time I heard about this story, I said, "NFW!" and ran for the Bible. Yep. Talking ass.

Now, please accept my apology for the following:

An ass is an ass
I guess, I guess,
And no one can talk to an ass, I guess
That is, I guess
Unless the ass
Knows the God of Abraham!

Preachers yakkity yak a streak
And waste your time of day
But of Balaam, they never speak
Or try to explain it away

Go straight to the Mass
And ask the ass
He'll give you an answer that might just pass
You never heard of a talking ass?
Well, listen to this:
"I am Balaam's Ass!"

Coleslaw

it might be hard to top this one. (or via: amazon.co.uk)

HeretiKc

[48] And Jesus answered and said unto them, Are ye come out, as against a thief, with swords and with staves to take me?
[49] I was daily with you in the temple teaching, and ye took me not: but the scriptures must be fulfilled.
[50] And they all forsook him, and fled.
[51] And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him:
[52] And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked.

No Robots

This is where Mel Gibson lost me. The opening scene of The Passion has the disciple running through trees in the moonlight chased by a Roman soldier. I was waiting for the soldier to rip off the tunic. But it never happened. Gibson totally wussed out. To think how much support he would have gotten from the gay community!

Toto

The Harlot by the Side of the Road, by Jonathan Kirsch, is just a little racy, but not the sort of "WTF" you are looking for.

Wisdumb

Um, wrong. Christianity chose Sunday as its holy day , not the new sabbath, because Jesus was crucified on friday and was ressurected on Sunday. The sabbath was never changed and it will always be saturday. Sunday was never claimed in the NT as the new sabbath. Also Jesus spoke out against the overly ritualistic ways of Judaism of his day. He thought working on the Sabbath was not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. He was thinking beyond petty rules. Its one thing for you guys to criticize the Bible but at least understand what you're mocking.....

"One Sabbath, when Jesus was going through a wheat* field, as the disciples were walking they began to pick the head of the wheat. The Pharisees said to Jesus, 'Please look. Why do they do what we must not do on the Sabbath?' Jesus said, 'have you never once read what David himself and his followers did when there was no food and they were hungry? When Abiathar was high priest, didn't David enter the house of God, eat the bread of dedication which no one but the priests should eat, and give it to those who were with him as well?' Then he went on to say, 'The Sabbath was established for man. Man does not exist for the Sabbath. Thus, the son of man is Lord of the Sabbath,'" (2:23-28).

His followers believed this too: Therefore let no one pass judgement on you in questions of food or drink or with regard to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath. These are only a shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ. [Col. 2:16-17]

douglas

This passage from Mark 3..

WTF Jesus? Why leave your mother and brother standing outside just to make a stupid point about "doing God's will"? My mother would have kicked my "son of man" butt!