Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Spaam · 08-06-2006, 09:08 AM

Just a few nuggets from uncyclopedia I thought were worth sharing.

Quote:

The Evil Atheist Conspiracy (aka EAC) is a malevolent and charitable order of individuals bent on the enslavement of the Earth and, if time permits, the Universe. The EAC also seeks to promote understanding and unity between all religious faiths, so that these can be wiped out in one single, devastating strike.

Quote:

Atheist Doctrine
Because Athe is regarded as the highest and most advanced being in the universe, communication between Her and Her lowly creations is regarded as a blasphemous concept in Atheism. As such there exist no holy scriptures in Atheism, and prayer, i.e. attempted communication with a superior being, is strictly forbidden.

Quote:

On Islam
The Religion Of Peace (TM)

When the Druisburg Patent & Trademarks Office opened its doors in 1107, Homahed was the first person and/or animal to apply for a trademark, for the phrase "the religion of peace" (TM). His final will and testament requested that the trademark be released for use by all Islams. The DMCA prohibits the use of this phrase outside of educational literature. Therefore, if you are not learning, please stop reading this article.

Islams have historically fought many wars to protect this trademark. In recent times many islamists have hired many high priced lawyers to fight an international war to prevent the desecration of the trademark. However, Scientology's lawyers contend that the art of Jihad is their trademark. Attempts to fob of the Scientologists with Mickey Mouse ears and Nike swooshes have so far failed. As of the last conflict, (The Battle of Milton Keynes, where blue-painted lawyers clashed with Islams in frenzied and bloody strife) the loss of human souls is estimated at over 11 million. The loss of lawyers' lives is not recorded.

Y.B · 08-06-2006, 09:18 AM

What I like best about the EAC article is this part:

Quote:

The aims of the Atheist Conspiracy are to destroy human morality. This is because, as is well known, all morality and ethics originate with religion. The Atheists put forward the idea that since there is no God, there is no way of knowing right from wrong, and no reason not to do evil.

This was exemplified in the rampages of the Atheist Massacre of April 1974, which included several infamous incidents of violence and accompanying phrases which have since become atheist slogans. Richard Dawkins murdered hundreds in a busy supermarket with a machete, screaming 'Kill, kill, kill for the love of the selfish gene' Carl Sagan piloted a plane into St. Peter's Basilica shouting 'There is no God and Richard Dawkins is her prophet', and Isaac Asimov raped five schoolchildren, explaining that 'there's no God to stop me now, ha ha!'. Truly, they were vicious bastards.

:rolling:

Hydra009 · 08-06-2006, 01:17 PM

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Penguin_Armies_of_Doom

lol

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08-06-2006, 01:17 PM	#3
Hydra009 Veteran Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Has moved to greener pastures. Posts: 2,795	http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Penguin_Armies_of_Doom lol

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