Freethought & Rationalism Archive

hashbrownz · 11-10-2005, 08:16 PM

okay kids... you want evidence of my existence.
here i am. God. Before you right now.
you always bitch and moan about how i haven't left enough evidence of my existence... or how my actions aren't rational... or how injust and cruel i am... blah blah blah and frankly, children, i'm sick of it. you've jumped ahead of yourself... gotten yourself into a real sticky spot, cause you see, in all the shit talking you've done "behind my back" (as you humans say) you still haven't disproved my existence.
so i decided to, for a limited amount of time, grace this forum with my majesty, provide an oppurtunity for repentence. no priests. no churches. just you and the numero uno. here's your chance at salvation, a last second save.
blow this one and your screwed.
i accept monetary gifts, sacrifices, and praises, but you can keep your prayers to yourself...

ELECTROGOD · 11-10-2005, 08:21 PM

Do you accept hash browns for an offering?

newtype_alpha · 11-10-2005, 08:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hashbrownz

i accept monetary gifts, sacrifices, and praises, but you can keep your prayers to yourself...

The check's in the mail. You should be recieving it in six to eight business days (although I am aware that a day to you is about a thousand years to a human, so you should be recieving my gift shortly before the Cubs win the World Series).

Also, if you get a chance, tell Jesus I'm sorry about that whole hotdog prank thing through the hand-holes and all (c'mon, you thought it was funny too).

hashbrownz · 11-10-2005, 08:25 PM

i do... i enjoy hashbrowns very much.
you shall give a tenth of all the hashbrowns you consume to the hungry, and in doing so get moved from my shit list to my buddy list.

ELECTROGOD · 11-10-2005, 08:27 PM

Cool, I'm growing the potatoEs now. :thumbs:

hashbrownz · 11-10-2005, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by newtype_alpha
The check's in the mail. You should be recieving it in six to eight business days (although I am aware that a day to you is about a thousand years to a human, so you should be recieving my gift shortly before the Cubs win the World Series).

Also, if you get a chance, tell Jesus I'm sorry about that whole hotdog prank thing through the hand-holes and all (c'mon, you thought it was funny too).

you'll have to take that whole thing up with jesus. he's in hell, blasphemy is serious shit you know. he's the reason why everyone expects so much out of me. saying he's god and that he loves everyone and all that shit... sayin that i love everyone and all that shit. pssh. get rilla godzilla. i aint dyin' on no t for no one. that just isn't rational.
depending on how you conduct yourself from here on out. you might get to meet him. but hopefully not, eh?

NZSkep · 11-11-2005, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hashbrownz

okay kids... you want evidence of my existence.
here i am. God. Before you right now.
you always bitch and moan about how i haven't left enough evidence of my existence... or how my actions aren't rational... or how injust and cruel i am... blah blah blah and frankly, children, i'm sick of it. you've jumped ahead of yourself... gotten yourself into a real sticky spot, cause you see, in all the shit talking you've done "behind my back" (as you humans say) you still haven't disproved my existence.
so i decided to, for a limited amount of time, grace this forum with my majesty, provide an oppurtunity for repentence. no priests. no churches. just you and the numero uno. here's your chance at salvation, a last second save.
blow this one and your screwed.
i accept monetary gifts, sacrifices, and praises, but you can keep your prayers to yourself...

I'm on my knees right now. I want to accept your love gift, and feel your salvation all over my face. all warm and sticky. ahem!

Alf · 11-11-2005, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NZSkep

I'm on my knees right now. I want to accept your love gift, and feel your salvation all over my face. all warm and sticky. ahem!

This is kinda difficult for us who are male and straight to do.

I guess I have to reject God for this reason. I wouldn't mind becoming a servant of the lord if I were to take his place though so that women could get on their knees and ask for love. I would be more than happy to assist God in providing it to them :-) Oh wait, I am sorry God but I get some second thoughts. For one thing, some of those women will not be beautiful women of suitable age, many of them will probably be too old or too ugly or too fat or too slim or too young etc.

Also, I have a wife, she wouldn't like it if I assisted God in this manner towards other women.

Guess I have to say no thanks to the job. Sorry God. Yeah, I know this will send me straight to hell but what choice do I have? I am locked between a rock and a hard place here God!

Alf

Writer@Large · 11-11-2005, 05:15 AM

Blasphemy! The most holy of shredded potato treats is clearly the tater tot. This poster is obviously a false prophet! :angry:

--W@L

ELECTROGOD · 11-11-2005, 11:36 AM

DEEP FRY HIM!!! (or at least in a skillet)

11-10-2005, 08:16 PM	#1
hashbrownz Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 39	proof once and for all that god exists okay kids... you want evidence of my existence. here i am. God. Before you right now. you always bitch and moan about how i haven't left enough evidence of my existence... or how my actions aren't rational... or how injust and cruel i am... blah blah blah and frankly, children, i'm sick of it. you've jumped ahead of yourself... gotten yourself into a real sticky spot, cause you see, in all the shit talking you've done "behind my back" (as you humans say) you still haven't disproved my existence. so i decided to, for a limited amount of time, grace this forum with my majesty, provide an oppurtunity for repentence. no priests. no churches. just you and the numero uno. here's your chance at salvation, a last second save. blow this one and your screwed. i accept monetary gifts, sacrifices, and praises, but you can keep your prayers to yourself...

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11-10-2005, 08:21 PM	#2
ELECTROGOD Veteran Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: GR, MI USA Posts: 4,009	Do you accept hash browns for an offering?

11-10-2005, 08:25 PM	#4
hashbrownz Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Oakland, CA Posts: 39	i do... i enjoy hashbrowns very much. you shall give a tenth of all the hashbrowns you consume to the hungry, and in doing so get moved from my shit list to my buddy list.

11-10-2005, 08:27 PM	#5
ELECTROGOD Veteran Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: GR, MI USA Posts: 4,009	Cool, I'm growing the potatoEs now. :thumbs:

11-11-2005, 05:15 AM	#9
Writer@Large Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 7,198	Blasphemy! The most holy of shredded potato treats is clearly the tater tot. This poster is obviously a false prophet! :angry: --W@L

11-11-2005, 11:36 AM	#10
ELECTROGOD Veteran Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: GR, MI USA Posts: 4,009	DEEP FRY HIM!!! (or at least in a skillet)

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