philbo

:rolling:

Not heard of either of those... thanks. I'll go looking for the full text

Garnet

Balaam's ass is in Num 22:21 through 22:30. Just picture Eeyore while reading.

Instructions on how to evacuate one's bowels while in a camp are in Deu 23.12 through 23:13. Surely there are better things to do with a paddle?

philbo

Thank you... holy shit - that's God telling 'em to bury their crap when they're "abroad".. truly thou must carry a holy poop-scoop

You're right, it's impossible to read either of those with a straight face: I've heard of talking through ones ass, but God seems to have managed to talk through someone else's

Garnet

Dammit...now the ass scene is playing through my head like a Monty Python skit. Why do I see John Cleese playing the part of the ass...with a silly walk?

Michael Palin...thou shalt take thine holy poop scoop...thou shalt count 15...no...20...no 25 paces. No wait, start over. Thou shalt take thine holy poop-scoop and thine holy hand grenade....wait...shit.

I am seriously screwed for the rest of the day.

Baidarka

Many religious Jews have to have separate sinks and dishwashers for dairy dishes and meat dishes. Two refrigerators. Two sets of pots and pans. Separate cabinets for meat utensils and dairy utensils. In some cases they have separate stoves and ovens. Sometimes if dishes or utensils which shouldn't touch, touch they must be thrown away. (Oh yes, then they need two more sets of dishes for Passover.)
Many years ago when I worked in Grossinger's Country club the meat and dairy silverware each had distinctive patterns so that none of us would get them mixed up. The Hotel Rabbi was always checking up on us. When ever he spotted a mistake all the offending polluted silverware would be confiscated and buried in a secret polluted silverware hole. ( there is a huge catch of buried silverware to be found by some treasure hunter somewhere in the Catskills)
Kosher laws have prevented Jews from eating any insects but Grasshoppers, no clams no shrimp, no eels or catfish, no dogs, no cats, and no pigs.
The Kosher laws have prevented Jews from hunting for food. They can eat burgers but no Cheese burgers, Pizza, but no meat on their Pizza. People who keep Kosher are always reading the ingredients on the food that they purchase to make sure that there are no traif ingredients or combinations (chemicals are usually OK).
I have met ultra orthodox people who keep strictly kosher, but are also heavy smokers.

How to Keep a Kosher Kitchen

http://www.us-israel.org/jsource/Ju...herkitchen.html

Jewish Cooking Everything to Make your Kitchen Kosher

http://www.milechai.com/jewishcooking/kosher1.html

Kosher Coded Knives
Meat -Dairy -Parve

Jayhawker Soule

It seems to me that discussion relevant to "Biblical Criticism & History" should go beyond jejune ridicule.

Toto

CA is right. This thread would do better in Humor.

BTW - you are allowed to make fun of Judaism if you are Jewish.

SEF

Yes, Judaism often seems to have a much better attitude to itself than do those illegitimate brattish offspring: Christianity and Islam (perhaps more of a step-child than a direct descendant).

philbo

Many thanks...

I wondered about starting this thread in Humor, but thought I'd end up with jokes rather than real-life quirks

...and I am half Jewish by ancestry, so does that count?