Splarnst

Claim: The Bible exists.

*hands you a Bible*

Ta da!

hallq

There is a definition of entailment on which a set of propositions entails another if and only if it is impossible that the starting propositions be true and the concluding proposition be false. Contradictions cannot possibly be true, period. Therefore, every proposition is entailed by a contradiction. The Bible contains contradictions. Therefore, the Bible entails every proposition.

QED

lpetrich

Here's a fun one that I once thought up: demonstrating evolution from the Bible.

The demonstration starts from all those genealogies in the Bible, which are neither very edifying nor very entertaining. So why are they there? They could be hints that genealogies are something worth looking for, and evolutionary biology is a study of genealogy. Hyracotherium begot Orohippus, which begot Epihippus, which begot Mesohippus, which begot Miohippus, which begot Parahippus, which begot Merychippus, which begot Dinohippus, which begot Equus. (sequence from talkorigins.org on horse evolution)

Natural selection? "... every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire." (Matthew 3:10, NIV)

One can even argue that Biblical errancy is divinely inspired. God could have inspired those Bible errors as hints that we ought not to be too literal-minded in interpreting the Bible.

Toto

Don't laugh. About a year ago I heard a liberal rabbi make that argument precisely. She stated that since there are two contradictory creation stories in Genesis, this is G-d telling us that the Bible is to be interpreted allegorically, not literally. Hard to argue with that.

Toto

The LORD approves of natural animal fat, not that artificial, partially hydrogenated product of modern industry.

pharoah

Isaiah 59:13 And judgment is turned away backward, and justice standeth afar off: for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter.

Anyone who seeks truth needs to look both ways before crossing the street, since that is where truth lies. Any fool can see that.

BioBeing

Can anyone prove God does not exist using the Bible?

neilgodfrey

or that jesus is dead?

GakuseiDon

Codec and Jack the Bodiless, re the "dogs in the house" challenge:
:notworthy: :notworthy:

DanBZ

This is the most hilarious thing I have ever seen.:notworthy:

I wonder when it's gonna get booted to the jokes forum...

Now, I'm going to answer neilgodfrey's challenge with a severe case of quotemining (but what's wrong with that? :devil1: )

From John 19, NIV
38Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jews. With Pilate's permission, he came and took the body away. 39He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds 40Taking Jesus' body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. 41At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. 42Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.