Buddrow_Wilson

OK instead of bragging about amazing exploits lets hear some amusing and/or embarrassing tails of sex gone awry. Nothing tragic mind you.

Hmm..first thing that comes to mind for me was when I and my g/f at the time were on a commercial flight from Dallas to Seattle. We decided we wanted to become members of the "Mile-high Club". Considering all the other places we had "expressed our affection" (greyhound bus, cruising a crowded interstate, etc), it was too hard to resist and would be our crowning achievement . Anyway she went to the restroom first. I waited about 2 minutes and followed. After applying the secret knock, I was allowed entrance. Soon we discover its a bit too cramped for regular activities. Just as we negotiated a game plan and were getting ready for the main event, the turbulence hit. Not extreme, but enough to make akward postions a bit dangerous. So everything in order now, it turns out the "stud" (me) wasn't achieving enough rigidity for entrance ("must be the altitude"). So, after all that, we just settled for an exchange of relatively satisfying oral pleasure. We returned to our seats together (with a disapproving shake of the head from one passenger that made me giggle) slighty bruised and feeling silly, but having a sense of accomplishment none the less. :P

tronvillain

Well, it was not too terrible, but my girlfriend was on top and I thrust rather hard at a moment she happened to be off balance and she fall forward and smacked her head into the wall. *ouch* There was much comforting required, along with many apologies, but eventually we could laugh about it.

Loren Pechtel

Well, there's the day the bed broke. Turns out a caster wasn't screwed all the way in and we managed to wiggle it loose. After I figured out what happened we got to laughing so hard about it that the sex was totally forgotten!

Later in a sense we broke another bed--the store had been too cheap. The offer was "frame included". Only they provided a 4-wheel frame on a matress that specifically said that the warranty was voided by not using a 6-wheel frame. We didn't notice the warranty issue at the time, only that our mattress got noisy within weeks. Yapping produced another mattress that was even worse (I think it was somebody else's reject), it took a complaint to the BBB to get them to replace the mattress *AND* frame. (I suspect the original mattress had been fine until we used it without proper support.)

After that incident, we were staying at my parents house for a couple of weeks. The bed started squeaking badly. Investigation showed a screw had come out, one side of the bed was sitting on basically no wood, had it moved another 1/16" the shear forces would have overwhelmed the other screw and we would have gone down, the headboard being damaged in the process. (The screws weren't meant to hold the weight, merely hold the board in position so it rested on another.)

To this day we joke about breaking beds. It's ironic in that we aren't into acrobatic sex, we like slow and gentle.

Dark Jedi

Well.... There was that time that me and my partner were VERY shocked at who we were with when the lights came on.

For those who claim you can tell when the lights are out, I ain't buying it. I had no indication that I was with the wrong woman until the right one flipped the light on. Apparently, the wrong woman had no idea she was with me either.

The right woman, sadly, was not buying the story at all.

The wrong woman was so shocked, that she could not stand to be near me after that without turning beet red and fleeing the room. No chance of finishing the job (Well, she WAS cute!), which I was availiable to do since I had sudenly come up single.

Buddrow_Wilson

hehe, I wouldn't buy that story myself.

keyser_soze

Me and a twisted little girl who like public displays of affection, got caught by a professor at my school, my counselor no less...I got crap classes until I changed to another two years later. That is of course the cleaned up version of it, as the original was far too embarrassing and compromising. I've learned to tone it down to reduce the laughs....

keyser_soze

Then there was the time my sister walked in with me and my best friend James. We were at that moment engaged in an activity with his girlfriend that got me no less than kicked out of my house. The last straw as it were, but I got a good foster father. I don't blame my sister, she would never have said anything, but my mother had apparently come home early to get her out of school(throwing up) and would never have thought to look in my room if my sister hadn't gasped quite so loud and what I could only think of as a most normal activity. Oh well, got me out of a bad situation. I finished 9th grade up at a good school and eventually started getting good enough grades to get into college. Something I never thought possible before then. So, the moral of the story....."Who says sex doesn't pay?"

keyser_soze

Then there was the time that my girl on the side called up my wife to apologize for hurting her by having an affair with me. Me and the wife had been on the road to skidsville for a couple years by then, and temptation got the better of me(you try getting sex on the bi-annual plan and see how long you can take it). But after said incident, we sat down and really talked, and have since mended fences, and gotten to a point, where I am quite pleased with my married life. Again, the moral prevails.


All the other incidences of getting caught in the act or committing some faux pas are fairly harmless.

Glad to get all that off my chest. I feel better now.

Hedwig

I'll just impart this bit of wisdom: If you live in a dormitory in college and you have the room to yourself, it's fine if you want to push both twins together. But for the love of all that is blasphemous and unholy, please turn the mattresses sideways opposing the box springs much like the # sign so that a steady cadence of monkey sex doesn't slowly create a chasm in the center of the two beds, sending your partner to the freezing tile floor below.

Thank you.

wally

I first met the woman who is now my wife of 28 years at a bar one evening. We hit it off and she "needed a ride home" One thing led to another as they say. As we were getting a good rythm going in the missonary position, a very large and heavy candle (unlit, thankfully) toppled off the headboard and hit the back of my head! I was conked hard enough it took a half hour rest before I could finish!