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Old 06-10-2008, 10:45 AM   #91
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Originally Posted by Amaleq13 View Post

This is just sad.

Please don't insult our intelligence by suggesting her uncertainty about where he had been laid indicates anything other than she considered him to be dead. You don't lay out a man who has risen from the dead and you don't wonder where a man who has risen from the dead might be laid. You only wonder that about a dead body.
why don't you read the whole post? instead of replying to only what you can handle
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As far as she knows, the angels didn't tell her specifically where Jesus was, so the best place to start was where ever his body is. His body wasn't there, she could be wanting proof that he is alive. "peter 2 angels said Jesus is alive, but I don't know where they put his body"
as far as Mary knows, the angels resurrected Jesus.
She could also have trouble believing the angels as well, so its also very possible that she still thought Jesus was dead when she ran to Peter, after all Thomas didn't believe until he saw Jesus either.
Once again the context makes this highly unlikely. In "Luke's" version the ladies tell the disciples (which includes Peter, who is specifically listed) about the angel, the message of Jesus being resurrected, etc., and "Luke" says their words seemed as idle tales to the disciples. Luke is quite clear that this very extrordinary information was presented to Peter before he ran to the tomb to investigate. That's a far cry from the more sedate "someone took the body and we don't know where they laid him." in "John".

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after all Thomas didn't believe until he saw Jesus either.
... evidently nobody else did either. At least some people showed signs of being rational. So why should we believe it today when we can't even find the remotest piece of evidence that any of this extrordinary stuff ever happened? Honestly, which is more likely:
  • Superstitious people developed oral legends about "Jesus" (that early apologist Justin Marter admitted looked very much like legends about various "Sons of Jupiter") that grew over time and were eventually collected into books that people came to venerate
  • An incorporeal god impregnated a virgin woman who bore a male child; the child lived for 33 years without ever doing anything wrong; the child was offered as a human blood sacrifice in order to appease the most loving god imaginable so he could forgive imperfect human beings for nothing other than being imperfect human beings. Said "son of god" came back to life after being dead for 1.5 days and then floated off into the sky, promising to return later and toss all those who are skeptical that all this happened into a lake of fire.
  • A group of green space aliens landed in my back yard last night, grabbed me and drug me kicking and screaming into their spaceship. They subjected me to anal probes and took samples of my hair, silava and urine. They then shoved me back down the ramp into my back yard and took off. Strangely, even the landing pads on their spaceship didn't leave any indentations on the grass. But I swear it happened...

Let me think about it for a nanosecond...
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Old 06-10-2008, 11:29 AM   #92
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No, I'm calling a spade a spade. You tried to create a contradictory story and found that using the criteria you apply to your favorite god-myth you can't create one contradictory enough to qualify as a contradiction. That says something.
no it doesn't say anything actually. I tried to create a contradictory story, and I failed beacuse I didn't think it through well enough, and how my story with no contradictions in it, can be compared to the bible is an example of you flailing to prove a point.



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As I've encouraged you to do several times, read your own myth. Get familiar with what you're talking about before debating someone who preached it as a 'professional' for nearly two decades. "Matthew" says the following about the guards:
those could be ANY guards, those could be guards that wern't even posted near but saw what happened at a distance, those could be guards that heard about what happened from different people and told the high priests, or the angel could've killed 2 of the guards, and the other guards ran away in fear and told the priests what happened. It doesn't say "the 2 guards that were killed went and told the watch" it just says "some of the watch came into the city" yet you're narrowing it down to 2 guards, and saying that 'some of the watch' is those 2 specific guards.




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As I said, it's a minor nitpick. But it does make me wonder if you're even bothering to read the bible accounts of any of this or if you've just been mining apologetic sites for quotes. Do you actually know what the bible says happened on that day? I'm just asking.
I haven't went to one apologetic site regarding my narraitive. I know what the bible says, I presented my narrative and all I am doing right now is ironing out the small details so people can understand it better.

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In fact luke even states they wern't at Jerusalem. So if it goes like how you say, How could someone return to Jerusalem when they are already AT Jerusalem? if Luke states they were at Jerusalem the whole time, how could they RETURN to Jerusalem?

And they worshipped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy

so that would be luke being 'quite clear' that they were somewhere OTHER than Jerusalem.
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Would you please just read your own myth and get to know it a little better before arguing over these things that it would appear you haven't even bothered to check? You keep separating explanations from the things the explanations contradict. That's the problem with the "Easter Challenge" puzzle. Yes you can resolve one thing but as soon as you do it knocks something else over. It's the whole picture that makes absolutely no sense. The five "resurrection accounts" in the canonical gospels and I Cor 15 are the textbook definition of contradiction.
I read the gospels and put them into an account that makes sense. As I said before, all I am doing is ironing out the details, I don't expect it to be perfect the first time I wrote it down.

"Luke" does, indeed, say they returned to Jerusalem, but he's also thoughtful enough to provide the exact location of where they are returning from. Read the two previous verses and you'll see that according to "Luke" he "led them out as far as to Bethany". Acts (most folks believe it was written by whoever wrote "Luke") clarifies that the distance was "about a Sabbath day's Journey" that took them back to Jerusalem. "Luke" is very specific and insists that the disciples did not go to Galilee between the day they first saw the ressurected Jesus and the time they were "endued with power from on high". I have no clue why the writer might have thought that to be an important detail but it would be difficult for the writer to have stated it any more clearly. And it clearly contradicts "Matthew" and "Mark's" claim that the disciples were to (and eventually did) go find Jesus in Galilee.

I've been criticized by fundies for "quote mining" the bible and lifting verses out of context many times. It seems odd that I'm on the other end trying to talk a fundamentalist into checking the context of a bible verse. [/QUOTE]

you seem to be making arguments from silence, you also seemed to ignore my previous post where I plugged in the verses from matthew into luke, and acts into luke.

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50And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.

51And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.
He led them out as far as Bethany and lifted his hands up and blessed them. So basically its saying, He led them out as far as Bethany to bless them the first time, then He blessed them, then they continued on to Galilee. Once again, no contradictions there. Does it say "they stopped at Galilee"? no it doesn't, once again you're using arguments from silence. Saying that because Luke had no mention of Galilee, that it is impossible for them to travel to Galilee. Bethany was close to jerusalem, about 2 or 3 miles, so its not going to take them 7 days to walk 2 or 3 miles back to Jerusalem. However it does take them about 6-7 days to walk from Galilee to Jersualem. It also does not say they returned from Betheny. Like I said, read my previous post where I plugged in Matthew and Acts into the book of Luke. Ill even repost it.

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45Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,

46And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:

47And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

48And ye are witnesses of these things.

49And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.

50And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.

16Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them.

17And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted.

18And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.

19Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:

And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.

52And they worshipped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy:

53And were continually in the temple, praising and blessing God. Amen.
Bolded is in Matthew 28.

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45Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures,

46And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behooved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:

47And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.

48And ye are witnesses of these things.

49And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.

50And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.

And, being assembled together with them, commanded them that they should not depart from Jerusalem, but wait for the promise of the Father, which, saith he, ye have heard of me.

5For John truly baptized with water; but ye shall be baptized with the Holy Ghost not many days hence.

6When they therefore were come together, they asked of him, saying, Lord, wilt thou at this time restore again the kingdom to Israel?

7And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.

8But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.

9And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.


And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.

10And while they looked stedfastly toward heaven as he went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel;

11Which also said, Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven.

12Then returned they unto Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet, which is from Jerusalem a sabbath day's journey.

53And were continually in the temple, praising and blessing God. Amen
Bolded is from the book of acts.

No contradictions. They went from betheny to Galilee, he brought them as far as betheney to bless them the first time, then they went to Galilee.
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Old 06-10-2008, 11:58 AM   #93
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why don't you read the whole post?
I did but claiming that Mary didn't believe the angels is just as ridiculous and certainly doesn't lend credibility to this ridiculous apologetic. There is no doubt in Matthew's account. There is only fear, joy and acceptance of what they were told as being true.

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instead of replying to only what you can handle
I can handle all the nonsense you are willing to shovel, amigo. It is like shooting fish in a barrel.

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As far as she knows, the angels didn't tell her specifically where Jesus was, so the best place to start was where ever his body is.
No, wherever his body was but you are wrong (again) because the angel specifically did tell her where he was going:

And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. (Mt 28:7)

You can struggle and fight the obvious but the fact remains that the depiction given by Matthew is completely inconsistent with her being confused about the location of the body.

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His body wasn't there, she could be wanting proof that he is alive. "peter 2 angels said Jesus is alive, but I don't know where they put his body"
as far as Mary knows, the angels resurrected Jesus.
It still makes no sense for her to talk about the location of his body and only more so given she was specifically told he was headed for Galilee.

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She could also have trouble believing the angels as well, so its also very possible that she still thought Jesus was dead when she ran to Peter, after all Thomas didn't believe until he saw Jesus either.
Thomas wasn't told anything by angels so that really isn't analogous or helpful to your cause.

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Originally Posted by dr lazer blast View Post
also I'd like to point out that is entirely possible, considering Risen from the dead doesn't always mean getting up and walking and not being where your body is laid.
Your example fails to support such a notion since, as the text clearly states, she had not risen until Jesus helped her up.

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24He said unto them, Give place: for the maid is not dead, but sleepeth. And they laughed him to scorn.

25But when the people were put forth, he went in, and took her by the hand, and the maid arose
See? Sleeping rather than dead. Arisen rather than laying down.

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as you can see, if Jesus had not took her by the hand, she would've just been laying there.
As you can see, nobody referred to her as risen until she got up from her apparent deathbed.

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Also with Lazarus, when Jesus told Lazarus to come out of the tomb, he didn't just magically go somewhere away from his body, he was around the place where his dead body had been.
Does anybody refer to him as risen from the dead before he walked out of the tomb? No.

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So mary not seeing the body, and hearing from the angels that Christ had died and rose, wanted to know where the body is, because in all the instances of resurrection the person was around where they had died.
Now try it will all the information as you are supposed to be doing.

So, Mary not seeing the body and hearing from the angels that he had risen from the dead and was going to Galilee ahead of the disciples, and running with joy to tell the disciples, wanted to know where the body is...

Surely, despite your faith, you can see the incoherence?
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Old 06-10-2008, 12:18 PM   #94
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Well, anyways, to stop pulling lazer blast's chain, here's whats really going on:

The bible is about the hyperspatial occurrences that occurred in each of the individuals (Mark, Matt, Luke, John) prime dimensions. As each of them walked through their own dimension, which was unique and had slightly different events, and all of the apostles wrote their experiences down exactly, the perceived differences are actually very helpful for understanding the hyperspatial nature of the Universe: that some of us cross between different alternate universes due to various reasons.

Jesus learned of the hyperspatial nature of the universe, which lead to him being able to be "resurrected" for in one universe, he was dead, but in another he was alive. The alive Jesus stole his body from the universe in which he was dead, and the energy imbalance caused by transporting matter from one universe to another resulted in a minor earthquake which caused the rock to roll from his tomb.

Anytime an energy imbalance is created between dimensions, it creates a ripple effect through all dimensions: this is what happened when Jesus removed his dead body to con people into worshiping him in other dimensions (he may arrive soon, before hyperspatial physics exposes his trickery).

Anyways, all the contradictions in the bible, and fulfilled prophecies, are due to hyperspatial beings who travel through time and parallel dimensions bringing their stories to themselves. Some of them seek to rule all dimensions, via setting up a framework to conquer a dimension prior to that dimensions scientific knowledge encompassing hyperspatial physics ("which basically makes "resurrection", walking on water, and prophecy things people can do in the safety of their own homes" Popular Science, June 2236).
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Old 06-10-2008, 01:31 PM   #95
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Jesus learned of the hyperspatial nature of the universe
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Old 06-10-2008, 02:24 PM   #96
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I did but claiming that Mary didn't believe the angels is just as ridiculous and certainly doesn't lend credibility to this ridiculous apologetic. There is no doubt in Matthew's account. There is only fear, joy and acceptance of what they were told as being true.
There is no acceptance, show me the scripture where it shows acceptance, however there is a lot of doubt, some doubted even when they saw Jesus.

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Matthew 28:17.
And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted,

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Mark 16:11
11And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and had been seen of her, believed not

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Mark 16:13-14
13And they went and told it unto the residue: neither believed they them.
14Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen.
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Luke 24:12
12Then arose Peter, and ran unto the sepulchre; and stooping down, he beheld the linen clothes laid by themselves, and departed, wondering in himself at that which was come to pass
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Luke 24:11
11And their words seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not.
Theres plenty of doubt, so it wouldn't suprise me if Mary Magdelene doubted that Jesus had rose from the dead.



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No, wherever his body was but you are wrong (again) because the angel specifically did tell her where he was going:

And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him: lo, I have told you. (Mt 28:7)

You can struggle and fight the obvious but the fact remains that the depiction given by Matthew is completely inconsistent with her being confused about the location of the body.
Ok, so "I know now where they hath lain him" could easily be "I don't know where he has lain him, somewhere in Galilee"

Once again, no contradiction.



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It still makes no sense for her to talk about the location of his body and only more so given she was specifically told he was headed for Galilee.
Wrong again. Let me show you the difference.

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They have taken away the LORD out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him.
Now look and see how mary says it after she saw Jesus for herself.


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18Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the LORD, and that he had spoken these things unto her.
So as you can see, there was a difference. When she saw Jesus for herself, she told the disciples that she had seen the Lord and had spoken things to her. A lot different then when she hadn't seen Jesus.


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Thomas wasn't told anything by angels so that really isn't analogous or helpful to your cause.
doubt is still doubt regardless of whether of who said what. Some people even doubted AFTER they saw Jesus.

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Matthew 28:17.
And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted,
so it doesn't really matter if its angels, men or Jesus, people still doubted.


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Your example fails to support such a notion since, as the text clearly states, she had not risen until Jesus helped her up.



See? Sleeping rather than dead. Arisen rather than laying down.



As you can see, nobody referred to her as risen until she got up from her apparent deathbed.



Does anybody refer to him as risen from the dead before he walked out of the tomb? No.
The ponit of all that, is that the people that rose from the dead, were around the spot where their bodies were.



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Now try it will all the information as you are supposed to be doing.

So, Mary not seeing the body and hearing from the angels that he had risen from the dead and was going to Galilee ahead of the disciples, and running with joy to tell the disciples, wanted to know where the body is...

Surely, despite your faith, you can see the incoherence?
First off there was no specific location. If someone said "the body is in Los Angels" I'd probably be inclined to ask 'where in los angels?' and if they didn't give me any more information all I would have is "Los Angels" not very specific as L.A. is a big area, and a human body is a realitivly small thing, so I would know "L.A." but I don't know where in los angels, thus still 'not knowing where the body is'
secondly, she didn't run with 'just' joy, she ran with joy and fear.

so yes, the way you put it, it is incoherent, but the way it is put in the narrative, it is not incoherent.
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Old 06-10-2008, 03:23 PM   #97
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Would you please just read your own myth and get to know it a little better before arguing over these things that it would appear you haven't even bothered to check? You keep separating explanations from the things the explanations contradict. That's the problem with the "Easter Challenge" puzzle. Yes you can resolve one thing but as soon as you do it knocks something else over. It's the whole picture that makes absolutely no sense. The five "resurrection accounts" in the canonical gospels and I Cor 15 are the textbook definition of contradiction.
Could be a fun computer game actually :>
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Old 06-10-2008, 03:30 PM   #98
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Jesus learned of the hyperspatial nature of the universe
This post is relevant to my interests, I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Hypergoogle "Hyperspace Jesus". It's only available if you have hypernet access, it is not available through regular 4d spacetime ISPs due to various legal issues about introducing primitive cultures to advanced technology. Those in charge like to have 3rd universe realms in which they can create interesting scenarios.
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Old 06-10-2008, 04:24 PM   #99
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It's only available if you have hypernet access
See, self righteous hyper-beings always holding us down...
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Old 06-10-2008, 04:28 PM   #100
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There is no acceptance, show me the scripture where it shows acceptance,...
They clearly accepted the word of the angel when they went with joy (and fear) to relate it to the disciples.

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...however there is a lot of doubt, some doubted even when they saw Jesus.
You need something to support your claim that Mary doubted the angel. You haven't got it but there is plenty to deny it. Your lack of surprise that Mary "might" have doubted does not qualify.

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Ok, so "I know now where they hath lain him" could easily be "I don't know where he has lain him, somewhere in Galilee"
Ah, the retreat begins. There is no justification for thinking a risen corpse who has gone on to Galilee ahead of the disciples where he will see them has been "lain" anywhere. The accounts simply do not match up on this point.

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Wrong again.
You haven't shown me to be wrong once, let alone "again".

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So as you can see, there was a difference.
In John's version, the angels don't tell Mary that he has risen. You've shown no difference that is relevant let alone that supports your ridiculous attempt at harmonization. You've only managed to highlight the difference.

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When she saw Jesus for herself, she told the disciples that she had seen the Lord and had spoken things to her. A lot different then when she hadn't seen Jesus.
Or been told that he had risen. You need to put more thought into your apologetics. Or, at least, reread the accounts before you reply. You keep forgetting you need to include everything. It makes no sense for the angels to tell Mary that Jesus has risen after Jesus has appeared to her and told her himself. And it continues to make no sense for Mary to wonder where the body of Jesus had been laid if, as the other accounts tell us, the angel informed her he had risen and would meet the disciples in Galilee.

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The ponit of all that, is that the people that rose from the dead, were around the spot where their bodies were.
No, the point is you are still ignoring that Mary was specifically told where Jesus had gone (or would be) and this continues to destroy your harmonization attempt.

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First off there was no specific location. If someone said "the body is in Los Angels"...
How disingenuous of you! She was not just told that "the body" was in Galilee (though that, alone, would be sufficient to contradict her alleged confusion). She was told the location of Galilee (specific enough to deny your nonsense) and that he would see the disciples there. There simply is no rational justification for her to assume Jesus was still dead and his body's location unknown given what the angel tells her in the other accounts. They simply and clearly do not match up.

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secondly, she didn't run with 'just' joy, she ran with joy and fear.
I never suggested otherwise and my point remains. There is no indication of doubt.

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so yes, the way you put it, it is incoherent, but the way it is put in the narrative, it is not incoherent.
The way I put it is the way the story must read if we take them all together. Pretending otherwise does your credibility no good.
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