rudolk

I'm going to hold off on voting to let you guys decide for yourselves. The dichotomy presented by these songs creates a vexing yin-yang dynamic, wherein they're mutually exclusive, yet cannot exist without one another.

I think way too much (way too poorly) about this subject by the way.

-Kurt

AquaVita

Why not be less cryptic in what the two options mean? I hate reading song lyrics and trying to guess.

rudolk

Sorry, I erroneously assumed everyone had the same taste in music as me. OK here goes, in a simulated conversation between Billy and .38 Special:

Billy: Man, you've got to let your girl know exactly what you've got in mind. You're in love, and that's great, but you need to let her know you're for real! Don't be afraid to tell her what you've got goin' on inside and --

.38: Whoa whoa whoa man, take it easy. Want to know the one surefire way to make good lovin' go bad? Come across as weak and dependent. She needs someone to believe in, and a whole lot of space to breathe in, brother.

Billy: But how's she gonna know how you feel about her? You got to be reminding her that you know exactly how lucky you are and give her no doubts whatsoever about how much you care about her.

.38: Billy, get off of the piano and listen to me. You couldn't be more wrong. The day you start telling her you love her every time you talk to her is the day she starts looking elsewhere. You gotta play it cool, hold on loosely, but don't let go. Hey man, let's forget all this arguing and go have a beer. You got any good pictures of Brinkley?

Billy: You kidding me? How do you think I came out smelling like a rose on the divorce? I keep them in my car, let's go.

So poor writing and a sub-par sense of humor aside, there are the two arguments. To be honest, the whole thing smells a little now that I've had to open it up like this, but whatever, it's still a viable topic for conversation IMO.

In my experience, it's really a split between the two...though heavily favoring .38 Special's take on it. Women and men have never ceased to amaze me with the amount of shit they're willing to put up with from an aloof asshole.

OK, off to watch the opening night of the NHL and forget my worries.

Cheers,
Kurt

ju'iblex

when the question, the options, and the OP becomes clearer, then this thread will make a longer stay in Misc. Better luck next time.

rudolk

gah, clarity sucks.:banghead:

manderguy

I'd go with hold on loosely, 'cause the song is better.

Well, that, and if you tell her about it, she'll twist whatever you say into the worst possible way it could possibly be interpreted.

/shameful female stereotyping (what the hell, it is ~~Elsewhere~~)

ooh_child

Nah, I'm female & I agree with you.

"Hold on Loosely" IS a better song.

Billy, though, is a much better musician.
(Stereotypical female thinking in play.)

MHB

Godless Dave

I am familiar with both songs, and I don't think they represent opposite attitudes. But I am glad to find out you can put links in poll questions.

scarmig

Be strong, independant, never be the first the say the "L" word. *every* time I "told her about it" I got shot down. *Every* time I stood independant and strong, I got the girl (or at least an invitation).

rudolk

You're right in that Billy's song doesn't imply being a snivelling dependent, but more often than not, "telling her about it" will cause you to drop your aloof defenses and reveal weakness. Depending on how mature she is/how much she likes you, that could go two ways.

And I actually used both methods on a girl within a week of each other with completely opposite results. One day I confessed how I felt about her (online no less!) and I got shot down. Then I ignored her for a week, made her be the one to initiate contact, and just generally seemed unreachable. Literally a week later she was on my couch and I just leaned over and planted one on her. She definitely didn't shoot me down that time, and we actually got into a long-term relationship after that.