samurai

or any religious teachings, what will be the utmost responsibility of husband to his wife and a wife to her husband that will never lead to divorce?

You can put like this:

1. HUSBAND must


2. WIFE must

Selsaral

In my opinion, the entire concept of a marriage that is eternal is foolish, naive, and unrealistic. There's evidence that throughout human development lifelong monogamy was rare (sexual dimorphism, particularly in precursor species, the shape of the penis, and other factors).

If two people choose to be monogamous, good for them. And if they happen to be able to live together for their entire lives happily, good for them. But that appears to be the exception rather than the rule. I think the happiness of the people is vastly more important than the obligation of marriage. I think divorce is a wonderful development of our society.

Wolfie

There needs to be interrelational security in a manner which will prevent either from interrelating (Samurai speak for evolving) and, of course, a lack of extramarital interrelations, a lack of interference from relations (family!), guaranteed income sufficient for disbursement against reasonable expense, mutual agreement on just about everything...

*sigh*

Fucking impossible!

Dhaeron

Simple>

1. HUSBAND must
honor whatever kind of promise he made to his wife about marriage

2. WIFE must
honor whatever kind of promise she made to her husband about marriage

Now wasn't that easy?

Of course since most people change over time, this isn't actually easy to do at all. I'd say it's actually pretty impossible to make such a commitment you will be able to keep lifelong.

Trout

A woman gets married thinking the man will change and he doesn't.

A man gets married thinking the woman won't change and she does.

No Robots

For sexual relationships, there is no book that compares to Constantin Brunner's Liebe, Ehe, Mann und Weib. There is a partial French translation published as L'amour and there is an extract in English in Science, Spirit, Superstition. I'm not going to quote, but here are some ideas that stand out:

1) the sexual urge is the survival drive of the species, and it overwhelms the survival drive of the individual. The conflict between the species drive and the individual drive is the origin of sexual deviance like prostitution and homosexuality.

2) Marriage at its best is the means for the spiritual liberation of the partners.

I also have in my possession an unpublished French translation of the entire work.

seebs

Easy.

Husband must not divorce.
Wife must not divorce.

If you're trying to think of other things that lead to these inevitably, you will fail. Too bad.

seebs

I sort of agree, but only sort of. There's one little fly in the ointment; so far as I know, there's very little evidence that divorce makes people a lot happier.

In practice, it seems, the issues that make people want a divorce tend to be at least partially internal, and continuing to go around looking doesn't change anything. It's not that Bob and Sally were incompatible with each other, and if they could just find the right people, they'd be happy; it's that Bob and Sally were incompatible with marriage, and as long as they keep trying to do it the same way, they'll keep failing.

The people I know who worked these issues out are consistently very happy. I recommend it highly; it really is worth the effort.

cognac

Well, if sex is a component of happiness, then married people have more sex than do singles, as interactive frequency between people is a correlate of availability. If you're married, it's right there. If you get divorced, you have to go find it.

seebs

It seems to be more general; people who divorce because they're unhappy, then remarry, are not all that likely to be happier.

The thing is, divorce is really good in a small set of cases... But marriage and divorce have both become first choices instead of carefully considered things, to some extent, so people who really just need a couple of months of good couples counseling divorce, and people who just have mutual infatuation going marry... And both ways, it's not such a great thing.