Jobar

From my favorite book of the Bible, Ecclesiastes:
3:18
I said in mine heart concerning the estate of the sons of men, that God might manifest them, and that they might see that they themselves are beasts.
3:19
For that which befalleth the sons of men befalleth beasts; even one thing befalleth them: as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yea, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast: for all is vanity.
3:20
All go unto one place; all are of the dust, and all turn to dust again.
3:21
Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward, and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?
3:22
Wherefore I perceive that there is nothing better, than that a man should rejoice in his own works; for that is his portion: for who shall bring him to see what shall be after him?

yalla

I've got no hope of finding the reference but there is one where someone important in the Tanakh asks another fella to put his hand under the important fellas skirt.
Dirty old man.

Boro Nut

That's why I love Ezekial. He's probably the only prophet down-to-earth enough that I would really trust him to know what a donkey's dick looked like and what horse spunk tasted of.

Boro Nut

Chris Weimer

But Satan isn't Lucifer. This is only a misunderstanding of the text. In no place in the Bible will you ever read that Satan is Lucifer. Ever.

Mountain Man

That passage did. Lucifer, Satan, Prometheous and other such mythological characters are all the same. They are "bringers of light" or knowledge to humans. The Jesus character considered himself to be a bringer of knowledge to humans.

Chris Weimer

Lucifer a mythological character? If you follow the KJV, then Lucifer comes out in Isaiah XIV in a passage talking about the Assyrian king. That is not Satan. And it was only translated as Lucifer upon the translation of the Latin upon the translation of the Greek upon the translation of the Hebrew. The real wording is, "day star, son of the morning". This is the English translation of the Hebrew, not the Latin invention. Thus there is no Lucifer the fallen angel aka Satan. And Satan also was not the bringer of light. He was the accuser, the adversary of man. He not once in the Bible attempts to bring light to the people.

jackrabbit

When I was a kid, I found it absolutely hysterical that "any that pisseth against the wall" was used in various passages to denote "men". It was the only time in my life that I ever got enjoyment out of reading the bible.

countjulian

Luke 19:27--But those mine enemies, which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither, and slay them before me.

Matt. 12:30--"He that is not with me is against me."

Matt. 10:34--Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

Acts 3:23-- And it shall come to pass, that every soul, which will not hear that prophet, shall be destroyed from among the people.

A long one-- condemns gays, lesbians, unbelievers, and idolaters to death

Romans 1:18-32

18
12 The wrath 13 of God 14 is indeed being revealed from heaven against every impiety and wickedness of those who suppress the truth by their wickedness.
19
For what can be known about God is evident to them, because God made it evident to them.
20
Ever since the creation of the world, his invisible attributes of eternal power and divinity have been able to be understood and perceived in what he has made. As a result, they have no excuse;
21
for although they knew God they did not accord him glory as God or give him thanks. Instead, they became vain in their reasoning, and their senseless minds were darkened.
22
While claiming to be wise, they became fools
23
and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for the likeness of an image of mortal man or of birds or of four-legged animals or of snakes.
24
Therefore, God handed them over to impurity through the lusts of their hearts 15 for the mutual degradation of their bodies.
25
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and revered and worshiped the creature rather than the creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.
26
Therefore, God handed them over to degrading passions. Their females exchanged natural relations for unnatural,
27
and the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity.
28
And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God handed them over to their undiscerning mind to do what is improper.
29
They are filled with every form of wickedness, evil, greed, and malice; full of envy, murder, rivalry, treachery, and spite. They are gossips
30
and scandalmongers and they hate God. They are insolent, haughty, boastful, ingenious in their wickedness, and rebellious toward their parents.
31
They are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.
32
Although they know the just decree of God that all who practice such things deserve death, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

All the verses there for a ready-made Jesus Jihad, and all from the NT, too! Who says fire and brimstone is the sole heir of the OT?

Joan of Bark

"Do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward. But when you pray, go into your room, shut the door, and pray to your father in secret, and your father who sees in secret will reward you."

Matt 6:5-6

A very useful passage to throw at the school prayer advocates.

Hurfy

“9. Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
10. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.
11. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
12. And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.� Ecclesiastes 4, verses 9-12