Hitetlen

The Marxist runs around the streets carrying a huge sign with big, bold letters:


The Worker just put away his cell-phone, finishing his conversation with his wife, and opens his car. The Marxist runs to him and shouts:

"Comrade, you have been stolen from!"

The Worker looks confused, checks his briefcase, peeks into his car and says: "Nothing is missing from here."

"No, no, comrade" - says the Marxist - "your employer stole the value you created."

"How so?" - asks the Worker, "he pays me for the goods I produce. We agreed upon my salary, he provides the machines, built this big factory, assumes the risk if something goes wrong. Where is the theft here?"

"But, don't you see, comrade?" - says the Marxist - "the value of the goods produced comes solely from your labor, he contributed nothing! Absolutely NOTHING!" (Marxist screams now.)

"Strange" - answers the Worker - "the machines help me to produce twenty times more than I could do on my own. If I went back to work on my own, I would not be able to produce this much, and my income would be about ten times less."

"Bah" - says the Marxist - "that does not matter. You define the 'value' incorrectly. If you define it like I do, it becomes obvious that the owner is a shameless thief, and you are seriously exploited! You see, the 'value' of goods should be defined properly, otherwise we can't prove that you are exploited!"

"I don't feel exploited" - says the Worker - "I like this arrangement just fine. When I used to wok for myself, I made less money, worked harder and sometimes I went hungry when things were bad."

"Ahh, so you don't feel exploited!" - says the Marxist - "as if your feeling would be a good indicator??" (Marxist is openly sneering now) "This only shows that you are brainwashed by the evil bourgeois media!"

"Interesting" - says the Worker - "I don't feel that, either. But, you know what? Let's go to the courts and see what they say."

(Grabs the Marxist by the neck and drags him into the courthouse. Marxist tries to pull away, he has been through this before.)

The Worker presents the case to the judge, who just smiles, and picks up the phone:

"Doctor, come down to the courhouse, please." - he says - "One of your patients escaped again!'

Amen-Moses

Have you by any chance run out of medication?

Amen-Moses

Biff

At the risk of being the first fish on this hook, I don't know of many pure Marxists in the real world, just like there are few pure free marketeers left once they've followed that rope to the noose at the end.

But if a Marxist hooked me by the elbow, and told me that my employer, the CEO of a large company, makes 1000 times what I make, doing work that is by no means worth 1000 times as much, has the ability to shield himself personally even as he runs the company into the ground, tries to avoid incurring safety costs or pay union wages, and has so much regard for me that if he can find a way to airlift his factory to Maylasia so that he can pay brown-skinned people 5 dollars a day to do the work I do, he'd be on that giant helicopter faster than you can say, "Get me some Bangkok hookers!" maybe I'd look a little harder in my briefcase (btw, I'm a machinist who carries a briefcase?) to see what's been stolen from me.

Oh, and by the way, thanks to Congress, now when I lose my job and get hospitalized, and run out my health insurance, instead of being able to pretect myself with bankruptcy, they made sure I will have to pay my debts to credit card companies charging me 30% plus fees while I'm laid up. And, of course, my employer can use an Asset Protection Trust to keep millions and also keep his mansions in Florida and Texas. Thanks, you motherfucking Free Marketeer!

Biff

skepticalbip

Marxism has been elevated to the status of a religion for the true believers… Their claims don’t have to make sense to sensible people for the Marxists to believe them any more than the fact that the claims of the fundies are diminished by the fact that they are absurd. The Marxist have simply replaced the fundie’s omniscient, omnipotent, benevolent god with an omniscient, omnipotent, benevolent government. Arguing with a Marxist is no different than arguing with a fundie.

Hitetlen

Very much so.

As a matter of fact, once I was able to sneak into a ceremony of the Party, and see their worshipping rituals. As Engels is my witness, and Lenin may curse me if I lie, this is what I heard when I saw them pray:

Our Government, thou art in Moscow (or Washington or London...)
hallowed be thy name.
Thy power be limitless,
thy will be done
in our factories and on our fields.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Forgive us our trespasses against thy power,
as we do not forgive those who trespass against thee.
And lead us into communism,
and deliver us from the evil capitalists.
For thine is the country, the power and the glory,
Forever and forever.
Amen.

Oh, and bless thy prophet, M.. Mo.. I mean Marx,
and let his beard grow long for thy greater glory.

Bumble Bee Tuna

Budweiser presents...
Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Geeeeeeenius)

Today, we salute you, Mr. Unabashed Fallacious Debator. (Mr. Unabashed Fallacious Debaaaaator!) Yes, there are many people out there who use fallacious reasoning. Most of them are cowards. They may use strawmen and ad hominems, but always shamefully, trying to hide it from their opponents. But not you, o Savant of Sophistry. You put your strawmen out proudly, without a hint of remorse. So, crack open a Bud Light, Honcho of the Ad Hominem, because while you nobly make fallacious arguments, you make the rest of us look good.

Seb

:rolling: :notworthy :rolling:

Nice Squirrel

I have been informed by the Party Gods through their great and glorious wisdom to promote this thread of serious discussion to it's place of honor:

Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to ~E~ we go...


By the power of Marx Skull I exult thee...

Bumble Bee Tuna

YUS!!!!!!

NotworthyCount++

Space Chef

(Grabs the Marxist by the neck and drags him into the courthouse. Marxist tries to pull away, he has been through this before.)

So, force is okay? Then what's wrong with Marxism? :huh:

Capitalism is the absolute law of the land! All hail the free market! :Cheeky: