arricchio

Let me just say that I’m all for protecting our borders. But dammit, if Bush hasn’t gone and done it backwards again. He’s sending our war weary National Guard troops down south when he ought to be sending them up north. That’s right, north. So they can protect this country from its real threat – those uppity Canadians. I mean, really, just who do they think they are? Just because they have cleaner cities, less crime, a higher standard of living, and better ice hockey teams than we do, that doesn't give them the right to go putting on airs. Uppity bastards. Don't they know that America is supposed to be God's Country? God intended for us to be his chosen race, and James Dobson even said so!

And you know what else? Some of them- not all of them, mind you, I don’t want to sound prejudiced (some of my best friends are Canadians, really) - but I suspect there’s quite a lot of them up there who are actually speaking French behind our backs. Not only do they talk funny, what’s worse, they’re not real capitalists. Look at their healthcare system. There isn’t one person in the whole country who's making a killing off the sick and elderly. That is downright un-American.


That's why we've got to tell the President to get this thing turned around the right way. Obviously, if God intended us to be the master country, we ought not to let those Canadians have it better. Somebody's got to show them their place, and by God, ole George W. is just the man to do it. If God can tell him to invade Iraq, then why in the hell can't he tell him to invade Canada? It would make as much sense.

We've got to start herding those godless tree-huggers, back to their own country where they belong. And if they don't start being inferior to us the way God intended, we'll tell Rush Limbaugh to say more nasty things about them.

Of course, they can sill import all the Molsen Gold and Labatt Blue they want. Oh yeah, and Canadian hockey players will still be welcome in the U.S. just as long as they play for American teams and leave just as soon as the season is over. If they're really good and don't use our toilets, maybe we will offer them a chance to work towards U.S. citizenship. That’s the way, Jesus and Thomas Jefferson would have wanted it, I'm sure.

jaded_revenge

Can you make this a spam mail?

Robzilla

You can hear them, sharpening their hockey skates.

satur9poet

:funny: I gotta tell this to my one Canadian friend..."sharpening their hockey skates"--he doesn't even KNOW HOW to ice skate! LOL!

Loren Pechtel

WTF??

They'll attack with the weapon so plentiful up there: Snowballs!

proudliberal

We dont have to because mainly the jobs that are north of us have to pay a good living wage because of the hefty taxes workers have to pay for free health care.

I really think canada should protect their borders from illegal us citizens fleeing for their lives in november if the republicans still have the house and senate.

Sultanist

May I ask a question?
More than once during all this close the border stuff, I've heard the "we have to keep the terrorists from crossing the border" argument too.
But to make their point they've shown us videos of Mexicans running across the border en masse. And that border is nothing compared to the length of the northern border.
So even if they walled off Mexico, what's to keep Bin Laden and his posse from picking any of a thousand miles of podunk on the northern border and moseying right on across? Or is that just a dumb question only a southern boy who don't know squat about anything north of the Mason-Dixon line would ask?

regis

As a born and bred Canuck, I am bemused that Lord George would send his troops south to stop low wage-earners from entering the U.S. If he'all (the Royal 'he') wants to stop terr-rists (the correct fey-Texan pronounciation), he should just put a tariff on them, like was done with softwood lumber. Whoo-whee! Them there terr-rists couldn't afford to go Stateside!


:devil1:

Genji

We need to guard our homeland from married GAY couples up there! Plus their socialism might leak in!

Zhivago

Reading this thread, all I can think of is Sheila Broflovsky singing "Blame Canada" on South Park. The problem with Canada is that there are too many Canadians.
Oh my god, Canada has just bombed the Baldwins.