Gawen

I just got this from a friend...a forwarded message/joke. He knows I'm an atheist and I think he sends me these little jokes to get my goat. I thought I would share this one with everyone....so you can pick it apart too.

And God said...

God is sitting in heaven when a scientist prays to
Him. "God, we don't need you anymore. Science has
finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing -
in other words, we can now do what you did in the
beginning."

"Oh, is that so? Tell Me..." replies God.

"Well," says the scientist, "we can take dirt and
form it into the likeness of you and breathe life
into it, thus creating man."

"Well, that's very interesting...show Me."

So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts
to mold the soil into the shape of a man.

"No, no, no..." interrupts God, "Get your own dirt."

scaramallion

And the scientist looked up at God, thought for a moment, and said, "Alright, you go first."

"OK," says God, "watch."

And God proceeded to spin the very fabric of the universe into dirt, with accompanying special effects suitable for a deity.

"No, no, no..." interrupts the scientist, "We agreed that to create life from nothing."

"So?"

"Well, obviously you exist, and you're something."

"Fine, just give me a second," replied God, and promptly vanished.

The scientist waited for a while, and then when it became apparent God wasn't coming back, he declared it beer o'clock and had a few cool ones.

The moral of the story? Don't get between a scientist and beer o'clock.

RRoman

"I don't see your name on it"

tracer

"Oh yeah?" repiles God, "Well, you exist, so you're something too! Neener neener."

The scientist sighs, and replies, "Okay, detente. Neither of us can create life ex nihilo because both of us are something. We're both equally impotent in this regard."

God gets a little red-faced at this, and stammers, "Oh yeah? Well, I'm God! I can beat you up any day of the week, or snap my fingers and turn you into a cloud of superheated plasma! I can do anything I want!"

"And what do you want to do?" the scientist asks.

"I want the entire population of the universe to worship me!" God exclaims. "And I'll force them to do so at gunpoint if necessary."

"So ..." the scientist muses, "You only created the universe as a tool to stroke your own ego?"

"I am God -- I don't have an ego!"

"You're sure acting like you do," the scientist replies with a wry half-smirk.

"Shut up!" God bellows. "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up! And get down on your knees and worship me, or I'll blast your body into a bazillion atoms and torture your soul in the flames of Hell forever!"

The scientist at first stands defiant, but then suddenly, against his will, finds himself being pulled to his knees and his hands pressed together in a prayer pose. Kinda like what those telekinetic aliens made Captain Kirk do in "Plato's Stepchildren."

God watches the scene smugly, but soon becomes despondent and releases the scientist from His telekinetic grip. "Ah, it's not the same," bemuses God. "If I program you to worship me like an automaton, or make you worship me like a puppet on a string, it's not the same as if you worship me of your own free will. That's the ego boost I really crave. That's why I invested humans with free will in the first place. Having my creations choose to worship me, even though they don't have to, is like ... it's like the ultimate compliment. It's better than sex with a supermodel. It's what I live for. Er, not that I 'live' in the same sense that My piddling little creations live, of course."

"Well, our time's about up," replies the scientist, glancing at his watch. "We'll continue this therapy session next week."

Gawen

Heh heh...I like those.

Cynical-Chick

:notworthy :notworthy