Freethought & Rationalism Archive

French Prometheus · 01-17-2006, 09:40 AM

Hey, Cloggy, I was joking too (except for the part about the English getting their asses whooped several times by the French and even being colonized a 1000 years ago by the French-Normands and claiming some victories (e.g. Waterloo) as their own whereas they'd probably have lost without their allies).

Agnostic Theist · 01-17-2006, 09:59 AM

So, what did Blucher actually do? If you read Prussian history, he denies the facts and claims Prussia sorted everything out. He turned up late, the French elite were beaten by the British frontline and that's that.

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BTW, I wonder if any other country in Europe ever lost a one-century-long war. And we won it all by oursleves.

Anyone else here take 100 years to win a war?

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Yeah, 'cause you've had plenty of non-White kings and queens in England

Everyone knows our royals and politicians have black hearts :Cheeky:

French Prometheus · 01-17-2006, 10:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Agnostic Theist

So, what did Blucher actually do? If you read Prussian history, he denies the facts and claims Prussia sorted everything out. He turned up late, the French elite were beaten by the British frontline and that's that.

:rolling: I see you need to brush up on your history a bit...

Napoléon hoped Blücher would turn up TOO late to help the hapless English. But he got that one wrong and this miscalculation was his demise (that and the Russian winter of course).

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Anyone else here take 100 years to win a war?

Pick your favorite saying: better late than never or the end justifies the means. And in the end we won and you lost. 'nuff said

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Everyone knows our royals and politicians have black hearts :Cheeky:

And bad teeth, poor taste and no libido... they're English :Cheeky:

Agnostic Theist · 01-18-2006, 03:35 AM

Dude, you're reading French or European history. You don't honestly believe it do you?!

And yes, you did eventually win the 100 years war. Those days are over. You proved that by building a wall to stop an invasion after the invention of military aeroplanes.

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And bad teeth, poor taste and no libido

Whereas French have

Awful breath
Are stuck up snobs
Spend the entire night spouting

'Papa!'
'Nicole!'
'Papa!'
'Nicole!'
'Papa!'
'Nicole!'
'Merde, le force de police!'
'C'est illegal pour to have un bang-bang with Papa?'
'Oui, Nicole!'
'C'est bon that we not have la sex et just sniff l'oignons et gorge la fromage pour une houre.'

French Agony Aunt columns are full of people going

'I have une probleme. J'ave been licking out my girl's cup de furry pour trois years, mais je cannot bear to kiss her in le mouth. Pourquoi? Because it stinks. Je see l'other blokes kissing, mais je cannot!'

French Prometheus · 01-18-2006, 10:20 AM

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Originally Posted by Agnostic Theist

Dude, you're reading French or European history. You don't honestly believe it do you?!

Facts are facts...

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And yes, you did eventually win the 100 years war.

Yes, we creamed you. Again.

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Those days are over. You proved that by building a wall to stop an invasion after the invention of military aeroplanes.

Well, we didn't have the luxury of barricading ourselves behind a sea.

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Whereas French have

Awful breath
Are stuck up snobs
Spend the entire night spouting

'Papa!'
'Nicole!'
'Papa!'
'Nicole!'
'Papa!'
'Nicole!'
'Merde, le force de police!'
'C'est illegal pour to have un bang-bang with Papa?'
'Oui, Nicole!'
'C'est bon that we not have la sex et just sniff l'oignons et gorge la fromage pour une houre.'

French Agony Aunt columns are full of people going

'I have une probleme. J'ave been licking out my girl's cup de furry pour trois years, mais je cannot bear to kiss her in le mouth. Pourquoi? Because it stinks. Je see l'other blokes kissing, mais je cannot!'

Bad French and bad English do not a language make.

So here's a joke in English:

An English couple is having sex. Suddenly, the guy turns on the light and says:
- Did I hurt you?
- No, you did not.
- Oh, I thought you moved.

And here's a joke in French:

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Un Anglais, un Français et une très jolie Suédoise étaient dans un train. Celui-ci entra soudain dans un long tunnel, laissant les voyageurs dans une obscurité totale pour plusieurs secondes. Dans le noir complet, on entendit alors dans le compartiment le son d'un gros bisou suivi du bruit d'une claque violente.
Lorsque le train sortit finalement du tunnel, le Français et la jeune Suédoise étaient assis comme si rien ne s'était passé. En revanche, l'Anglais plaintif se tenait la joue. Apparemment, c'était lui qui avait pris la grande claque dans la figure.
La jeune Suédoise songea à ce qui avait pu se passer : "L'Anglais a du essayer de m'embrasser dans l'obscurité mais il s'est trompé et a embrassé le Français qui lui a retourné une grande claque..."
L'Anglais pensait aussi :
"Le Français a du essayer d'embrasser la fille et, en voulant lui donner une claque, elle l'a raté et m'a malheureusement frappé."
De son côté, le Français se disait :
"Quelle rigolade... Au prochain tunnel, je refais le bruit du baiser et je donne une autre baffe à cet abruti d'Anglais !"

:rolling:

Agnostic Theist · 01-18-2006, 02:39 PM

I prefer the one where the tunnel collapses on the train and the French passenger is killed.

Astreja · 01-21-2006, 12:22 AM

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Originally Posted by cajela

Nooo!!!! The dreaded spon!

You... you goon! (quickly covers knees)

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01-17-2006, 09:40 AM	#31
French Prometheus Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: France Posts: 5,839	Hey, Cloggy, I was joking too (except for the part about the English getting their asses whooped several times by the French and even being colonized a 1000 years ago by the French-Normands and claiming some victories (e.g. Waterloo) as their own whereas they'd probably have lost without their allies).

01-18-2006, 02:39 PM	#36
Agnostic Theist Veteran Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: UK Posts: 4,822	I prefer the one where the tunnel collapses on the train and the French passenger is killed.

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