ChristMyth

Every Sunday, in almost every town in the US, a group of people will gather in the same building and begin church service. They will sit in the pews and wait for the proper time for the organ or piano to strike the right chord that will be their que to rise. They will begin to sing in unison a song to their risen savior, reminding themselves that they are the only ones that will make it to that eternal bliss awaiting them in the hereafter. These songs will stir emotions and invoke images of love and compassion that will touch the hearts of their singers, no matter how badly they are singing, and some will shed tears of heartfelt sorrow and joy as the group drones on and on about how lucky they are that they found Jesus.

It is said that it is not what you say but how you say it that really makes an impact and gospel songs are no exception. Despite the true emotions felt by these people and the appropriate chords struck by the musicians, the words to some of these songs makes the most horror-filled Stephen King novel look like the workings of Dr. Suess.

I found this out the other night as I flipped through the stations on my radio during a serious bout of insomnia. I ran across one of those Christian stations where the preacher of the hour extols the greatness of his own interpretation of the Bible as "gospel truth." Bored, I thought his deep voice of pure nonsense would eventually lull me to sleep. I lay there listening to how Jesus did this or that and how we all needed to be saved and how I could buy this teaching for the low, low cost of way too much. Then, at the end of the program, after the preacher had said his last, a chorus of singers sprang to life from my speakers, singing a song that could send shivers down the spine.

I thought long and hard about the words to this song. And while the words were horrifying enough, it was the happy sounding tune in which the song was sung that brought home the horror. These people were not saddened by the fact that, if this were true, the person would suffer eternal damnation full of torment. There was no sense of sorrow about the "sinner man" and his fate. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The singers were more than happy to sing about horrors to come. They were a choir of sociopaths enjoying the sadistic moment to its fullest.

This got me to thinking about the other songs that I had sung back when I, too, was a believer. At the time, I had sung songs of pain and torment in a voice as happy as if I were singing "Happy Birthday" to myself at five and knowing that the gift I had asked for was soon coming. And I wondered how I had done this without ever thinking of the words and what the song meant.
At this I was astounded, amused, and glad that I had broken my chains to such sick and twisted imaginings.

So, to those who have once shared with me the experience of singing happily the unfortunate fate of our fellow men and women, fully believing in the Hell they would share, what songs do you look back on and see the true horror of its theme and shudder at the thought that you once lent your voice to their glad tidings of death.

Christmyth

neilmarr

I seem to remember a version of this piece of horrifying nonsense actually making the UK pop charts in the sixties, during a craze for gospel and folk music, sung to a kinda lively sea-shanty tune.

Oh Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?
Oh Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?
Oh Sinnerman, where you gonna run to,
All on that day?

In the verses, the said sinnerman suggests that he will run to rocks, trees, hills etc to hide him and is told that they won't. The last verse says 'Run to the Lord. Lordy won't you hide me?' And he's knocked back by Jesus, too.

This should, of course, be a lesson to all us heathens (not to listen to nasty wee gospel songs).

Cheers. Neil

blkgayatheist

Didn't it Rain


Rained forty days and forty nights without stopping
Noah was happy when the rain was dropping

Knock on the window, knock on the door
crying "Brother Noah can't you take one more"
Noah cried "No, cuz you're full of sin
God's got the key, you can't get in"

sung by the incomparable gospel legend Mahalia Jackson (with a great old blues/jazz style, especially in the bridge which repeats "Just listen, to the rain, just listen, how its raining"), this song is one of the few instances where voice is given to those outside the ark who drowned. The idea that Noah would be happy despite the death around him and gleefully celebrate his chosen stature as compared to those shutout is an interesting commentary I think

BriAnna

off to grd

Wolfie

Some of the lyrics are positively inspiring. The months of thought and deliberation that must have gone into this little gem "I'm a Soldier in the Army of the Lord".


I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army

I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army

I got my war clothes on in the army of the Lord
I got my war clothes on in the army
I got my war clothes on in the army of the Lord
I got my war clothes on in the army


I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army

I believe I’ll die in the army of the Lord
I believe I’ll die in the army
I believe I’ll die in the army of the Lord
I believe I’ll die in the army

I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army

I got my breastplate on in the army of the Lord
Got my breastplate on in the army
I got my breastplate on in the army of the Lord
I got my breastplate on in the army

I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army

I’m gonna fight until I die in the army of the Lord
I’m gonna fight until I die in the army of the Lord
I’m gonna fight until I die in the army of the Lord
gonna fight until I die in the army of the Lord

I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army

Ain’t gonna be no turning back in the army of the Lord
Ain’t gonna be no turning back in the army
Ain’t gonna be no turning back in the army of the Lord of the Lord
Gonna be no turning back in the army of the Lord

I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army
I’m a soldier in the army of the Lord
I’m a soldier in the army




Positively inpsirational!

The US MArine Corps should adopt this as their marching cadence - way better than:

"I don't want no teenage queen
I just want my M14."

JamesBannon

As Rabbie Burns once said nothing pleases the believer more than they will be consigned to hell for their sin. Enjoy! http://www.worldburnsclub.com/poems/...9;s_prayer.htm.

enoch007

How about the classic standard:

Onward Christian Soldiers,
marching as to war
With the cross of jesus
going on before.

Christ, our loyal master
leads against the foe
onward into battle
see his banner flow (or the banner does something, I'm doing this from memory)

True, no hellfires or writhing nudes (too bad) but very stirring rousing anthem of combat against...well everyone.

windsofchange

Or the one that Martin Gardener quotes in his novel "The Flight of Peter Fromm"

And then there's the infamous (to Catholics anyway) '60's hymn "Sons of God" about the Eucharist (which has a very bouncy, cheerful beat):

Ugh!

Eldarion Lathria

They do have some rousing tunes. Which is why the Industrial Workers of the World re-wrote the words so they would make more sense. For example. To the tune of "In the Sweet Bye and Bye."

The Preacher and the Slave
by JOE HILL
Long-haired preachers come out every night,
Try to tell you what's wrong and what's right,
But when asked about something to eat,
They will answer in voices so sweet:
Chorus:

You will eat bye and bye,
In that glorious land above the sky.
Work and pray, (work and pray),
Live on hay, (live on hay),
You'll get Pie in the Sky,
When you die, (that's a lie!)

And the starvation army they play,
They sing and they dance and they pray,
Till they get all your coin on the drum,
Then they tell you when you're on the bum:

CHORUS

If you fight hard for the good things in life,
They will tell you to stop all the strife,
Be a sheep for the bosses they say
Or to hell you are surely on the way!

CHORUS

Workingfolk of all countries unite;
Side by side we for freedom will fight
When the world and its wealth we have gained,
To the grafters we will sing this refrain:

Last Chorus:

You will eat, bye and bye,
When you've learned how to cook and to fry;
Chop some wood, 'twill do you good
And you'll eat in the sweet bye and bye.
(That's no lie!)

(The Little Red Songbook)


Eldarion Lathria

WWJD4aKlondikeBar

Gospel music is to my ears as rap music is to some.