Freethought & Rationalism Archive

ferrari · 01-24-2005, 07:29 PM

A few random quotes from the late comedian Bill Hicks:-

"Ever notice the way creationists look really unevolved?"

"Dinosaur fossils? God put those here to test our faith." (creationist to Bill)

"Man, I reckon God put you here to test my faith. (Hicks to creationist)

Xoxarle · 01-24-2005, 08:02 PM

One of my favorites:

Waffle House Waitress: "Hey, what you reading for?"
Bill Hicks: "Why do I read? I guess many reasons, but the main one would be so I don't end up being a fucking waffle waitress."

eleven · 01-25-2005, 08:40 AM

Bill Hicks was the greatest social commentator of our generation. I have over 7 hours of him on CD and just got the DVD that came out a couple of months ago.

Quote:

A lot of christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus ever comes back he ever wants to see another fucking cross?

It's kinda like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant.

Quote:

(As Jesus) I was crusified, dead for three days, resurrected and waited 2000 years to return to Earth... it's Miller time!

Matty · 01-25-2005, 09:50 AM

I just love the story about the Deep South gig. The two rednecks come up to him after the set pushing him around
"hey buddy, we're christians and we dont like what you said"

"so forgive me"

:rolling: :thumbs:

philbo · 01-26-2005, 10:40 AM

I loved Bill Hicks' comment about the bulletproof popemobile: "Now ain't that faith in action"

repoman · 01-27-2005, 02:13 AM

ha, the popemobile joke was ripped off by someone else, but I forgot who right now...

eleven · 01-27-2005, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by repoman

ha, the popemobile joke was ripped off by someone else, but I forgot who right now...

Dennis Leary.

He stole a lot from Bill Hicks. They use to be friends when Leary was starting out in the comedy circuit, but then started using Hicks material when they weren't together. Hicks found out about it though the club owners and other comedians. Needless to say, it was downhill from there.

BTW, I highly recommend the biography "An American Scream" about Hicks, which the above is mentioned in.

safeinacell · 01-27-2005, 01:54 PM

When asked why he quit smoking, Hicks replied:
"I wanted to see if Dennis Leary would."

One of my fav's:
"How many non-smokers in tonight?...(pauses for audience to cheer)...You bunch of whining maggots. Don't take that wrong.

repoman · 01-27-2005, 02:49 PM

actually, it was a black comic, so unless Denis Leary was in blackface it wasn't him...

01-24-2005, 07:29 PM	#1
ferrari Regular Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ireland Posts: 313	A few from Bill Hicks A few random quotes from the late comedian Bill Hicks:- "Ever notice the way creationists look really unevolved?" "Dinosaur fossils? God put those here to test our faith." (creationist to Bill) "Man, I reckon God put you here to test my faith. (Hicks to creationist)

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01-24-2005, 08:02 PM	#2
Xoxarle Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Floriduh Posts: 9,015	One of my favorites: Waffle House Waitress: "Hey, what you reading for?" Bill Hicks: "Why do I read? I guess many reasons, but the main one would be so I don't end up being a fucking waffle waitress."

01-25-2005, 09:50 AM	#4
Matty Veteran Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: By Lake Ontario. Posts: 5,297	I just love the story about the Deep South gig. The two rednecks come up to him after the set pushing him around "hey buddy, we're christians and we dont like what you said" "so forgive me" :rolling: :thumbs:

01-26-2005, 10:40 AM	#5
philbo Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Bucks, England Posts: 393	I loved Bill Hicks' comment about the bulletproof popemobile: "Now ain't that faith in action"

01-27-2005, 02:13 AM	#6
repoman Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,280	ha, the popemobile joke was ripped off by someone else, but I forgot who right now...

01-27-2005, 01:54 PM	#8
safeinacell Regular Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 304	When asked why he quit smoking, Hicks replied: "I wanted to see if Dennis Leary would." One of my fav's: "How many non-smokers in tonight?...(pauses for audience to cheer)...You bunch of whining maggots. Don't take that wrong.

01-27-2005, 02:49 PM	#9
repoman Veteran Member Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,280	actually, it was a black comic, so unless Denis Leary was in blackface it wasn't him...

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