aa5874

I have often heard ministers of religion, goverment officials and others during some crisis admonish families and the victims that, "You are in our prayers."

Does anyone know what benefits are derived from saying, "You are in our prayers"

reddhedd

The person saying it gets to feel as if they've done some good, without actually lifting a finger.

Asha'man

Yea, what she said.

GenesisNemesis

"The hands that help are better than the lips that pray."
- Robert G. Ingersoll

ghetto astronaut

A lot of people are dumb, and really concerned about social procedure. It's a token phrase you're supposed to say, and people will get really offended if you don't.

I don't think there's any point in flying the president out to all the disaster sites in the country when something bad happens. All he does is walk around, take pictures with people he doesn't know and doesn't care about, and says the same few words about prayers, etc. There's no point, but it's social procedure.

paradigm9

sounds kinda pretentious. i mean what if god doesnt particularly like the person who is praying for me? so since god thinks you're an asshole and you're praying for me....god is gonna associate me with an asshole. thanks..

asshole

GaryP

I once wrote to a local reporter complaining that in an article she did on the Boy Scouts, she mentioned the controversy in regards to gays yet did not mention the discrimination against atheists.

She wrote back that she would "pray for" me! Wow was i po'd, I wrote back and informed her that I thought it highly insulting to say such a thing when she knew I was an atheist. Now if I were sick and she did not know I was atheist, I would just take it as a sign of her concern.. but in that situation, boy I'm still mad about it and it's been years ago.. Probably because she never apologized didn't even acknowledge my message!

RareBird

That's almost as useless and annoying as "our hearts go out to...". What nonsense.

WishboneDawn

It's in no way an admonishment.

In my experience it hasn't been said so the sayer can derive benefits but rather so the person it was said to can derive some comfort. A secular equivilent would be, 'You're in our thoughts,' It's a simple and small phrase that reaches out to a person to let them know people care.

Honestly, sometimes hoofprints belong to horses. No need to go searching for unicorns.

reddhedd

I don't usually take it as an admonishment...just an observation that it seems to be used instead of an offer of assistance.

When my boss' son died last year, I noticed two different types of folks...one group said something along the lines of "You're in my prayers" or My thoughts are with you" and the other group said " How can I help? Can I pick up relatives at the airport, make you dinner, walk your dog, stay with your brother (special needs), open the door for mourners...'' etc?

There were a lot more of the former group, who felt that offering platitudes, a hug and a "sorry for your loss" card fulfilled their social obligation. They could walk away, conscience eased.

Personally, I find that ''knowing'' someone cares comes from actions, not words uttered in a hushed tone, just before you get into your car and go to lunch. I found myself in the minority in that situation, though.