pierneef

Well, as Professor Kiwifruit from the MIP pointed out in his famous address to the Nailclipper Agnostic Association of Upper Springfield

So, if the faint glow was not left by the nailcliipers, what was it left by ? O, and who said there was "radiation" ?

I am not an expert on teen nailclipper absorption. It is something I have never witnessed or heard about before today. So I hope that someone who suspects that his or her teen has been absorbing nailclippers, will rescue me concerning issues such as correlations, cause and effect, ontological meanings, and the like.

pierneef

This is truly ominous. As nailclippers are WMDs, does this mean another "terrist attack "...maybe the October Surprise ? Do Martians wear turbans ?

manderguy

I had a pair of clippers that disappeared for awhile forcing me to use the wife's clippers. After some time I'd had enough and did the only sensible thing: I bought a new pair so that I'd promptly find the old. Needless to say, I found the old pair within a couple days in a place I'd previously looked. I think these important new data need to be integrated in the Martian/radiation Theory of Nail Clipper Temporal Unreliability.

I've also noticed a definite dominance of left footed socks. I have a considerable number of extra left footed socks, and would be willing to trade with someone who has a dominance of right footed socks. I'll even send clean ones.

4th Generation Atheist

But the nail clippers are the larval form of unmatched men's socks! The occasional mutant set will pupate into an unfamiliar T-shirt.

Preponderance of left socks? Most of my socks are set up to fit either foot.

OTOH I once wore two right gloves for a year before noticing the difference, so maybe I'm not the one to ask.

woodstock memories

It has been proposed that the martians are beaming socks into their motherships with the full intent to convert them into puppets with the intent to disrupt the threads of any truth-spreading internet message boards on Earth.

The nail clipper disappearance phenomenon is actually a result of the secondary nullspace tesseracts produced as a side effect of the random sock-puppet materialisation/dematerialisation.

These produce echoes of future purchased nail clippers to be projected back through time along a punctuated plural trajectory, resulting in nail clippers often apparently undergoing an inexplicable existence failure, only to subsequently reverse this process in an equally inexplicable non-existence failure, with the unfortunate consequence that multiple future nail-clipper purchases actually cancel each other out.

wonkothesane

Martians my ass...sheesh people, be realistic...

They go the same place that ballpoint pens and left socks go...WORMHOLES.

It's all very scientific.

Ennazus

My nailclippers stay close to home, but tweezers disappear.

MeMo

Well, my educated guess it that the vibrations from the stereo push the nail clippers while the EMFs from the telephone draw the nail clippers towards the teen's ear. The heat from hours of ear to phone contact causes the nail clippers to soften and slip neatly through the ear canal and into the skull where they somehow (I'm no neurologist) cause amnesia.

I am willing to entertain the possibility that the teens that I house are martians (possibly nail clipper absorbing/sock stealing martians?) based upon the fact that my socks often end up in their dirty laundry while nary touching my feet or shoes on the way.

pierneef

I recall when my son was younger he used to be a World Wrestling Federation fanatic, and one of the stars, the Great Mck Foley or Mankind, had just that kind of martian sock puppet (it had a name which I cannot recall), and could pull the brains out of his opponents heads by applying the sock puppet to the mouth.

I think Tom Ridge should be informed

pierneef

...and the nail clippers have only a fleeting materialisation before they return to dark matter ? They say that there are things in the universe that are visible only when you do not look at them directly (or at all, for that matter). So do you think that if nail cutters (those that appear to exist briefly) where used only in pitch dark, that their fate would somehow be different ?

If the above theory is correct, what is happening at the time a person is in the act of apparently purchasing the (say) fourth pair of nail clippers that month ? I need to understand the physics as well as the metaphysics.