Freethought & Rationalism Archive

Xulfer Cirtsag · 03-05-2005, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pervy

I should point out that the original poster simply spammed this message to multiple boards and then walked away. You are not likely to get a reply to your rebuttals of it.

As such, I am sending this drive-by preaching spam to ~E~

He did respond over at Rapture Ready.

IamMoose · 03-05-2005, 06:12 AM

Man this shit pisses me off. Surely no intelligent Christian could really believe that anyone could be inspired to conversion from drive by postings like that? It's just an excuse to make the poster feel smug and pleased with himself.

Instead of spamming message boards, maybe he should be out there delivering meals to homeless people (mind maybe I should be too I suppose). I'd be much more inclined to take notice of his message then.

Dean Anderson · 03-05-2005, 09:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gastric ReFlux

He did respond over at Rapture Ready.

Hey - I said "not likely to", not "Definitely won't"...

The RR thread is funny though, he seems to be telling those guys that they should all convert to Christianity. Strange... I thought most of them already were Fundy Christians!

Hopeful Monsters · 03-05-2005, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XFRODOBAGGINSX

-

Xulfer Cirtsag · 03-05-2005, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pervy

Hey - I said "not likely to", not "Definitely won't"...

The RR thread is funny though, he seems to be telling those guys that they should all convert to Christianity. Strange... I thought most of them already were Fundy Christians!

I was just very amused by this piece of spam being put at Rapture Ready.

lilchibi · 03-05-2005, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rational BAC

... I, as a most excellent Christian, have a few problems with your post.

...

Mark 10:18

Stumpy · 03-05-2005, 12:21 PM

Quote:

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

Can't...resist...Caps-Lock...enhanced...message...from...Drive-by...Preacher...

YES JEBUS I BELIVE IN YOU! HALLELUJAH! GLORIE BE! I BELIEVE! GLORY! I GO TO HEAVVEN NOW! JESUS ISIN MY HAERT!!! GLORIE! GLORY! GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

WWSD · 03-05-2005, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XFRODOBAGGINSX

ARE YOU 100% SURE THAT IF YOU DIED TODAY THAT YOU WOULD GO TO HEAVEN?

"Abe: DEATH!
Lisa: No grandpa. that's just Maggie."

Quote:

1. REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A SINNER AND IN NEED OF A SAVIOR:

"I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura."

Quote:

Ro 3:23 "For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;"

"We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 'Give me five bees for a quarter', you'd say."

Quote:

Ro 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

"Now, where were we? Oh, yeah...the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war; the only thing you could get was those big yellow ones."

Quote:

Every person who has ever lived is a sinner and is not richeous(?) because we do bad things.

"Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crack-pot."

Quote:

A sin is a crime against God, just as if you steal something at the store is punishable by going to jail. Even if we lie one time, the punishment is hell, which is eternal separation from God. No matter how well you live your life from then on, you have already committed a sin which will be punished if you are not pardoned. Just as if you commit a crime, and then live as a good citizen you still will go to jail for the crime you committed. Just as the president can pardon a crime so you won't go to jail, Jesus can pardon your sins so that you do not go to hell, and can go to heaven when you die.

"Abe: All right, I admit it. I am the Lindbergh baby. Wah, wah. Goo goo. I miss my fly-fly, dada.
Man: Are you trying to stall us, or are you just senile?
Abe: A little from column ‘A’ a little from column ‘B.’"

Quote:

2. BECAUSE OF OUR SINS, WE DIE BOTH SPIRITUALLY AND PHYSICALLY, BUT GOD SENT HIS SON TO TAKE OUR PUNISHMENT AND GIVE US A CHANCE NOT TO HAVE TO GO TO HELL.

"I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me."

Quote:

Ro 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it!"

Quote:

Ro 5:8 "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."

" I'm old. I hate everthing but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now!"

Quote:

4. WE MUST CONFESS JESUS CHRIST AS OUR SAVIOR WITH OUR MOUTHS AND BELIEVE IN OUR HEARTS THAT HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD, BY DOING THIS WE ARE RECEIVING HIM:

"I'm filled with piss and vinegar. At first I was just filled with vinegar."

Quote:

Ro 10:9,10 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation."

" I leave [as inheritance] these: a box of mint-condition 1918 liberty-head silver dollars. You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and� hey! Where are you going?"

Quote:

Joh 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: {power: or, the right, or, privilege}
(KJV)

. Anyway, about my washtub. I'd just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... a walking bird. We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"...

Quote:

You cannot get to heaven by being a good person, going to church can't get you there, you can only get to heaven by turning to Jesus and asking Him to Save you.

" ... Eh, why didn't you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I'm thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There're sure a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Oh! Look at that one. Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president isn't Democrat! Hello? I can't unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? [honks car horn] There are too many leaves in your walkway..."

Quote:

Will you do that today? If you will, you can be 100% sure that you will go to heaven when you die.

"Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three - medium brown..."

Quote:

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT JESUS CHRIST DIED ON THE CROSS AND ROSE FROM THE DEAD FOR YOUR SINS? DO YOU ACCEPT WHAT HE DID FOR YOU TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS?

"I first took a fancy to Mrs. Bouvier because her raspy voice reminded me of my old Victrola. Oh, it was a fine machine with a vulcanized rubber listening tube which you crammed in your ear. The tube would go in easier with some sort of lubricant like linseed oil or Dr..."

Quote:

If you are willing to receive Jesus Christ as your Savior please pray this from your heart to God,

"Not many people know this, but I own the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. 'A' he'd say. Then 'B'. 'C' would usually follow..."

Quote:

"Dear LORD JESUS, I believe that YOU died on the Cross and Rose from the dead for my sins. I realize that I cannot get to heaven any other way other than to trust YOU as my SAVIOR. I ask you to forgive me for my sins and take me to heaven when I die. I receive YOU as my Lord and SAVIOR. Thank You for Saving me in JESUS name amen"

"My story begins in Nineteen dickety two. We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word for "twenty." I chased him down the road but gave up after dickety-six miles..."

Quote:

If you prayed that prayer from your heart to God, and meant it with all of your heart, you are now a child of God and will go to heaven when you die.

" Lisa: Oh, Grampa, you're not busy are you?
Abe: Well you're really asking two questions there. The first one takes me back to 1934. Admiral Burn had just reached the pole, only hours ahead of the Three Stooges...
... and I guess he won the argument, but I walked away with the turnips. The following morning I resigned my commission with the coastguard. The next thing I knew there was civil war in Spain...
... and, that's everything which happened in my life right up to the time I got this phone call..."

Quote:

Now that you are on your way to heaven, you should attend a bible believing church and follow in baptism.

"Three wars back we called Sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" and we called liberty cabbage "super slaw" and back then a suitcase was known as a "Swedish lunch box." Of course, nobody knew that but me. Anyway, long story short... is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling..."

Eldarion Lathria · 03-05-2005, 05:57 PM

than the OP.

"And having achieved Oneness, we moved on to Twoness. And when we were finished with Tunis, we did travel by the old French superhighway to Algiers, where we disported ourselves in El Diwan, the finest stew in Algeria, where the food is excellent, the drinks are first rate, the girls are first rate, and the guards are ex-Foreign Legionnaires who beat up troublemakers."

Eldarion Lathria

mongrel · 03-05-2005, 07:47 PM

WWSD, I think the question really is, do you like sausage?

03-05-2005, 05:57 PM	#29
Eldarion Lathria Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Atlantis Posts: 2,449	WWSD your post made much more sense than the OP. "And having achieved Oneness, we moved on to Twoness. And when we were finished with Tunis, we did travel by the old French superhighway to Algiers, where we disported ourselves in El Diwan, the finest stew in Algeria, where the food is excellent, the drinks are first rate, the girls are first rate, and the guards are ex-Foreign Legionnaires who beat up troublemakers." Eldarion Lathria

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03-05-2005, 06:12 AM	#22
IamMoose Veteran Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: On the fringes of the Lake District, UK Posts: 9,528	Man this shit pisses me off. Surely no intelligent Christian could really believe that anyone could be inspired to conversion from drive by postings like that? It's just an excuse to make the poster feel smug and pleased with himself. Instead of spamming message boards, maybe he should be out there delivering meals to homeless people (mind maybe I should be too I suppose). I'd be much more inclined to take notice of his message then.

03-05-2005, 07:47 PM	#30
mongrel Veteran Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: North of the South Pole Posts: 5,177	WWSD, I think the question really is, do you like sausage?

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